Sunday, January 23, 2011


"Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" -Sam Witwicky [Shia LaBeouf], Transformers I
Many times in my life I have been presented with situations that confront me choices; sometimes hard, sometimes not so hard. The times that I had to make a hard decision, I always tend to shy back and choose the easier route. I need to stop doing that. Sometimes that easy way isn't always the right way, and I need to have the "guts" to "get in the car" when all I want to do is turn around and walk away. I don't know what the future brings. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, next week, in six fifty years and I DO want to be able to look back and say, yes, I am glad that I did that; I am glad that I got in the car.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe
I am a very sensitive person, I have just learn over time to hide when something hurts me. When I'm happy, oh goodness! Everyone knows, but when sometimes hurts me, you can tell, but I won't say anything. I use to wonder why I had to go through that hurt, I wonder why my heart was ripped out of my chest once again to be cruelly torn apart and stepped on, but I just tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and that pain I'm experiencing is because it's teaching me something...whether that me to let it go, to appreciate things more, to trust no one or so that something better can come into my life, I went through that pain because I had too.

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
I hate confrontations. I really do hate it a lot, but if I don't stand up for something that I believe, then I know that everyone will just walk all over me. I know I can be a push-over, but I have learned to stand for what I believe in, even though my legs might shake some, as long as I stand up for what I know is right, I have a backbone and I know that I will be respected more.

"In the end everything is okay, if it's not okay then it's not the end."
There are days where everything is not okay and you just want to crawl back in bed and curl up in a ball under you blankets, I have those days, but I just have to remember that it's not the end. I have to remember that when it's the end everything will make perfect sense and that that was way that curl-up-in-a-ball day happened. Life isn't always fair and it will throw things that will make you test out out your patience, you courage, and inner strength. For me, it's a hourly struggle to remember that.

"The face can speak a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don't be fooled for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart."
I tell myself this all the time, because I do this all the time. I don't know what you are going through, all I know is that you are smiling, and I know what it's like to smile when your heart is hurting. I know that I try to smile at everyone that I encounter, because I don't know how that person is feeling, really. I don't know what's going on their minds and hearts. I have learned that for me, when I smile at someone, it makes me have a better day because that smile could be the only smile that person received for the day, and I gave it to them. Whenever someone acts in a certain way, I try to think of the deeper reason, because many times a person lashes out is because they are hurting.