Wednesday, November 30, 2011


These past few days, I've been talking to my cousin more and more. I think we both need each other. I think that everyone should have that one person that they feel comfortable talking about anything and everything with. I use to trust very easily. I use to make friends really easily...but experience is the best teacher. I'm working on trusting people again. I have gotten more quieter around people and crowds then when I was younger...oh goodness. I was kind of crazy when I was younger! *laughs*

But yeah, I've been talking to my cousin a lot of the past few days and she is one of the strongest persons that I know. Her and my mom are pretty strong people...they have gone through so much shit in their life...things that can break a person...and they are still standing strong. It helps me know that I can make it too. cousin was telling me that she was trying to break out of her shell and try do something new each day. Something that she wouldn't ordinarily do...small things, like buy clothes that look good on her but she wouldn't normally buy or talk to the person next to her in line or even just to smile more. So that encouraged me to do something I would normally sign up for the Great Aloha Run. Well, technically, I haven't signed up for it yet...I'm waiting until I get paid next week...but I'm starting to train for it's a basically, in distances I can more's a little more that 8 miles.

EIGHT FUCKING MILES!! Holy that shit?! Well, I plan too. My sister was telling me that I should work up to have a that I can stay on track with my working out and stuff. I am a swimmer. Remember that one race that I did like 2 months ago!? In Ko'Olina?! Yeah, I like to swim...I use to run...but not anymore...but hey,  think that I can do it. And it's something that I wouldn't normally do.

I miss my cousin. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm All Ears.

So, I rarely go on facebook anymore...but when I do, I like to read updates on my friends life...and I also like getting quotes and sayings from my friends who like to post them up. My friend Staci posted this one up...

Last night I said "Sometimes u just want someone to talk to". God knelt beside me pulled me close and said "I'm all ears".

Yes, I know that I am in a confused about religion and everything...but I am not confused about My God. And I do believe that he moves in mysterious ways and this quote is what I needed to read at the moment. Many times I do feel like I am all alone in this world and I wish desperately for someone who will just listen to me; someone who will not judge what I say but just someone to talk to...and reading this reminds that I do have someone like that in my life.

No matter what happens in life; no matter how far I stray; no matter how many times I feel empty...I force myself to remember that my God will always, always be "all ears" when I need Him to be.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cheese Graters.

I want to read. My book. Yep. I want to read my book. I'll write a mini review on it when I'm done reading it. It's the last book in it's trilogy. But I wanted to write before I curled up in a yes, cheese graters. Is that what they are even called?! Coz, I mean, you grate a lot of other things with it...carrots. I grate carrots. So, why can't it be call a carrot grater?! What is it called?! *looks it up on google* can be called both...Cheese Grater or Carrot Grater...or just plain, Grater. *laughs* sister made these fabulous tasting "enchiladas" the short version...basically she used burritos and laid them out in a dish and drowned them in enchilada sauce and covered them in cheese [where my story comes in] and shredded lettuce. It was amazingly yummy...!! So anyways, because I'm just a nice person like that, I asked her if she needed any help...and yes, she did need help...please grate the cheese. So I did. But I wasn't paying attention to what I was my hand slipped...and yeeowch!!! I grated the skin off my thumb. I'm looking at it as I'm typing now...and ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 

You try continue grating with that kind of owie...not fun...the pressure makes the blood come out faster. Ew. So now, I have to deal with this cheese grated thumb. It's not a deep cut...but it fuckin' hurts, yo! *laughs* oh well...I've been in a lot of other pain before...but really!? Really?! And it's my week to wash the dishes!? *laughs*

Well, before I curl up I wanted to write a reminder why I love my preschool job. I was walking home from school when I noticed this tinted SUV following me. Was I scared, uhm yes. I could barely make out the driver...but it looked like they were waving...but I didn't recognize the vehicle, so I thought it was some tourist going to ask me how to get to Kailua Beach or where was the nearest place they can find somewhere to eat. So I stopped...but they continued to I just kept walking...when all of a sudden it pulled up in front of me blocking the sidewalk where I was walking and rolled down the window. It was the grandma of a child who use to be one of my little preschoolers. I haven't seen her since her granddaughter left our school last May. The grandma got of the SUV and gave me a hug after giving me a warm greeting. The little girl was in the backseat trying to get out of her car seat--saying my name over and over again. I gave her a hug and she kissed my cheek. I talked to grandma a bit and she told me that "my" girl always and still asks for me. She also told me and thank me [again] for being a good influence in her granddaughter's life; she was doing so much better. In the beginning of this year, I wrote of my challenges and she was one of them. Months later, it makes me smile to know that I made a difference in someones life. And this is why I love working with kids.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


So Passion Roots is starting to expand it's business...I haven't really written about Passion Roots in awhile, but yeah, Shilhi started a clothing line called Silhouette...and it's really cute clothes and accessories...I bought a few tops at its opening a few weeks ago...from it's Fall line...and so now, I can't wait until the Winter line comes out! Yay! *laughs*

Well, we're gonna be starting Plush by Passion Roots soon. And the plan is that Aunty Daisy and I will take over that part of the business. So today Aunty Daisy and I met with Shilhi and practice the bouquets and took a lot longer than I thought it would take to learn them to nearly perfection...our final outcome will be professional photographed and put in a magazine...scary!! promote it. I was kind of bummed because  Allie planned a flag football game today at 4:pm and I really really wanted to go, and this flower thing was only suppose to last until 2:30pm...but Aunty Daisy and I ended up staying until 6:30pm because [let me see if I can get this straight, but] my bosses sister-in-law had her baby and wanted Shilhi [my boss] there with she had to leave early and Aunty Daisy and I were stuck trying to figure things out on our own...! But I think that we did a pretty good job.

When I get the professional pictures, I'll put them up...but here are some of the pictures for my untrained hand. *laughs*

 Here are some of the flowers that I got to work with. Goodness gracious! I love the smell of flowers and I'm super lucky to be able to work with these beautiful Flowers! The flowers pictured here are standard white roses, white spray roses, white lisianthus, white ranunculus, tulips, anthuriums, mokara orchids, dusty millars, and bear grass...
 More flowers...or at least a closer shot...bummer I didn't take a good picture of the hydrangeas that we had put under the table...they were huge!
 Here is Aunty Daisy doing a boutineer.
Another picture of Aunty Daisy doing a boutineer...and I'm not sure you can tell, but there are two partly finished bouquets.
This one is the Au Blanc Glam bouquet and it's matching boutineer.
A close-up of the boutineer
Tropical Chic and Matching boutineer

A close-up of the boutineer
Pacific Love and it's matching boutineer
A close-up of the boutineer
A Garden Inspired and matching boutineer
A close-up of the boutineer
Classic Romance and matching boutineer
A close-up of the boutineer

Here are the final products to be judged by our Boss Lady. :) I hope they are ready for the photoshoot tomorrow! 

It was a long day. For my whole family. I spent all day working on the Plush line, my brothers' played football and my sister was out trying to finalize wedding details with a friend. So when we all got home...we went to my favorite eat out place...Saigon Noodle House just down the street...and ate. My sister, my blood brother and I all had Beef's COLD! *laughs* was a good ending to a long day. Now, I'm going to lose myself in my book. :)

Saturday, November 26, 2011


I have been craving S'mores for the longest time. I love s'mores. They are my favorite in the whole entire world! *laughs* Am I exaggerating a bit?! Yeah...but just a guess what I did!? Since we don't really do fire's here in Hawaii...really!? It's so hot! *laughs*...I put some marshmallows on a graham cracker and stuck it in the oven for a few minutes. Took them out and stuck some chocolate chips in them...and put another graham cracker on them. Then I took my four squares of s'mores and sat down in front of the Christmas tree and took a bite... was NOT what I expected...but then...s'mores from the oven?! is NOT the same as a real fire. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed...but as I was eating them, [they aren't that bad...just not a real s'more]...I was reminded of the fun times that I use to have with my bestie back in California...roasting marshmallows over the fire to make our s'mores while downing Coronas' or Smirnoffs...laughing, talking...and just being best friends. I miss that. I miss her. I miss s'mores. *laughs* I can't wait to see my bestie again...and to have another moment of carefreeness bliss.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday.

So, I usually wake up early, so I had no trouble waking up this morning..but I think my family had a harder time. *laughs* But we actually were able to leave the house at 7:30am. So yay! *laughs*

I hate crowds...and I was actually dreading going shopping today. Oh yeah...before I forget...I finally ordered my 4th Generation ipod touch from! Yay! It should be here, at least they estimated, on I'm pretty excited! *laughs* Yep, I am! I ordered it yesterday...but anyways, as I was saying...I was dreading to go shopping because I hate crowds...I get that whole claustrophobic feeling...and I hate when people I don't know touch me...I hate it...but surprisingly enough we got good parking [something we had already accepted that we wouldn't get]...and there wasn't a lot of people there. And get this...for my family, I am already pau shopping for them! Should I share what I got them...?! Nah...they might read this and find you also have to find out AFTER Christmas what I got everyone. :) So I got 85% of my Christmas shopping all done...that's good...

But I have to admit that I was really really REALLY tired from it all...that I just woke up from my nap. *laughs* and guess what I woke up too!? Here...let me give you a picture hint...
We got our Christmas tree today! Yay! Goodness...I love the Holidays! I really do! :) But I am that person that does NOT like listening to Christmas music or do anything with Christmas until AFTER this case IS after yay! We got our Christmas tree...and yes, it smells wonderful! I love it...I can't wait until we decorate it...I think we're going to wait a bit though...

But I think right now I'm going to take a shower because I can't wait! We're going to have our Ohana Night at the Seibel's! We haven't had one in such a long time...well, I take that back, we had it at Shilhi's house last yeah...but Aunty Michele wasn't able to make it since she went to the Big Island to do the sermon there...and the Santos' weren't there it will be really good to see everyone again...oh and Layla and Joel had their baby! So, I'll get to see her...I can't wait to see my Ohana again...FINALLY! *laughs*

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving Feast.

So, I just wanted to write a really quick something or another about my wonderful day. I love my family. I am so happy that I am here with them right now...I wouldn't want to be anywhere right now then here in Hawaii with MY FAMILY. I love my family. We all helped my sister with all her baking...and was amazing...I just found out that my sister wants to do Black Friday shopping tomorrow...but not the crazy 4:am! We'll leave the house at I might as well start on my Christmas shopping...but I just want to stop and say...I am so thankful for my family. I am so lucky to be here with my family...after so many years I feel like I have come home.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is the day! I guess I couldn't sleep in...even though I could. Because I just love this holiday! I can hear my sister up already cooking still already! I love my sister....This year we decided that we're just going to stay in the house and have our own sit down Lunner [Lunch-Dinner] with us four. I was helping with my sister yesterday...and oh much food! Well, I'm going to go out there to help my sister with whatever she needs help with! But I just wanted to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Much Better.

These last two days were much better. Mondays, I tell ya! *laughs* But wow, I don't think that I have been as mad at someone in a long time until last Monday rolled around. But I don't know what happened but I'm glad that it's the holidays now and I don't have to see her take out her anger on the children. It was a lot better today.

In that teacher's defense...she is a good person. I just know it. She does have a sense of humor...and she is a really sweet person...but she sure does wear her feelings on her shoulder! And it really does seem like she doesn't care that people get hurt when she is in bad mood. I have learned that when I am upset, I need to walk away...and just talk myself out of the bad emotions I am feeling. She doesn't...but I know that everyone is different...

But I am so glad for this Thanksgiving break. I get tomorrow off [Thanksgiving Day] and Friday [Black Friday!]...I will have to admit I really need this holiday to step away from all the work drama...goodness...I hate drama too in my life! *laughs*

But I got to talk to my parents today. They are in Palawan. My friend Ate She took a picture of my mom and I couldn't stop looking at it, because I hadn't seen her for over a year...much less a picture of her...and she does look happy...but different. I have yet to "see" my dad again. I miss them so much. Oh goodness, I miss them so much. I wish so bad that they are here...but I know that they are doing what they want to do, and who am I to take that away from them. But I do miss them. It's hard not having any way to contact them when I need them.
My Mom
Well, my sister is starting our Thanksgiving feast for tomorrow and so I'm going to see if she needs any help! Oh goodness...I wish I can save this smell for all of smells SOOO good! *laughs*

Monday, November 21, 2011

Bad Day.

Oh, I know that everyone has their bad days...but come on now...I know for the most part I will go to work in a good mood. I swear that is my default mood...if there is such a be in a good mood. I always try to be optimistic...I try so hard to tell myself that no one can determine you attitude in life but yourself...but sometimes people just get to me.

I have come to the realization that there are people in the world that if they are in a bad mood...but I'm sorry but then the whole world will take the wrath of it! My only way to get back at them is to stay in a good mood and show with my actions that they can't phase me...but that isn't true! It irritates me! If you are having a bad day and are just treating everyone like crap...then boohoo to you bitch! Go cry me a river! Ugh...people!

Oh okay, I know that I'm complaining and all...but anything that happen to kids affects me. No matter how much I try to NOT let it get to does. It really does. You want to get me mad quick like that...tell me that kids are stupid...or talk about child molesters...oh mandope...nothing gets me more mad then that! And if I am in a bad mood at work...I can't, even if I wanted to take it out on the children! I just couldn't! They will always be in a good mood...and to watch someone yell and belittle a child because they are in a bad mood just makes me want to slam that person's head in the wall!

I love the innocents of a child. I have children where I know the background of their lives...and it just pinches my heart to painfulness...but that child will still smile at you...will still run to you with a hug...they don't know the horribleness of the world...yet. They can not comprehend the evilness of this world...yet. Even though at a young age things might be against them...they still smile and they still seek friendship with is adults in our childless ways who teaches them what it means to be in a bad mood.

Oh okay...yes, I had a bad day. But I smiled through it all for the children's sake...but I hope...I pray that tomorrow will be much better. Whatever is plaguing that teacher...I hope she will be able to set it aside for just a moment for just a few more days...then she can have yet another vacation of the thanksgiving holidays and recoup.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

PreThanksgiving Feast.

So today is our Thanksgiving Feast with Waimanalo SDA Church. I have to admit...this is the first church in a long time that I actually felt like I belong. I know that I grew up in Vallejo Central SDA Church..and that will always be my childhood church...but ever since I came back from the Philippines...I always felt more like a guest then family there. Oh well...time waits for no one...and I guess in my time away from there...things changed...and I'm different...the church is things feel different now...

But Waimanalo SDA chuch...I feel like family. Even though I rarely go to church matter how long I have been gone...when I go back to church there...I feel like family...And I love that feeling...but I still have a hard time attending church because of "that" at least I know I have a family church again.

But it's our Thanksgiving feast...and I'm actually kind of excited to be seeing everyone again! My sister was asked to decorate the place since Shilhi isn't going to be able to this year...and so I'm helping her with that. I know that the food is going to be amazing and the company is even going to be more amazing. My friend's Allie, Amanda, and Karlie will be that's good. We're all teachers...and so it's fun talking story with them...but not only about school...but just because they are fun to hang out with.

Tracy and Kaleo and Ciccio are going to be there too. I miss them...but we'll see how things go! I love this Holiday feeling in the air! *laughs*


Monday, November 14, 2011

Me, the teacher.

So, the head teacher of my classroom has been out A LOT. And when I say "out A LOT"...that means like there was a time where she was gone for like a week and a half like 2 weeks ago...and now she is gone again for 4 days this week...might as well take the whole week off...but yeah I had to teach today.

I've always believed that I could be a teacher. I'm not trying to be vain or anything...but I think it's time for me to step it up. I now think that should be the teacher instead of the aid-where I have very limited control what I do. I know that there has been a lot of drama going on in the school with this other aid who is taking her CDA and she thinks and believes and moves and everything that she knows EVERYTHING...and it gets me upset. I think I can be a teacher. 

I think that I will go for the CDA so that I can be a teacher now. Eventually I'll go back to school to get my degree. I'm still kind of torn though, because Shil told me that she might be able to hire me full time and have control over the Plush line of Passion would be dream come true to do that...but we'll come that crossroad in time. So yes, I will work on my CDA...hope it would take so long! *laughs*

The biggest mistake is to think that it's too late to start something... and not doing anything at all. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Cockroach Blanket.

So today my family decided to watch TV together. I love it when we do that...I think that family should do that...have dinner and watch TV together...watching shows that we all this case we watched The New Girl [I absolutely LOVE this show!] and Modern, I guess it was "Comedy" family night. *laughs*

Anyways...K.Neal had hurt his leg while running last Sunday, and so he bought a styrofoam rolly thingy...well, my sister bought it from her PT...and so it was a lot cheaper...anyways...we cooked pizza...and oh man! Since our oven is broken, it took FOREVER to cook it...I think more than a hour...and so we were famished by the time it was finished cooking! Anyways...

K.Neal had gotten a blanket from the hallway closet so that he can lay on the floor while he massages his leg out with the first thought about the blanket brought back memories! It was a blanket that has always been in my life since I was young...I remember it on my parents bed...I remember using it for picnics...I remember wrapping it around me when it got cold during the brutal winter months in Cali...and then I thought...oh wow! This blanket has been in the closet for so long it should be washed cause it smells! And so K.Neal lays it on the floor and then BOOM!!!! Cockroach explosion! My sister is covering her mouth trying not to scream out brother freaks out and runs to his room...K.Neal grabs and slipper and starts trying to slap/kill as many as he can...and what do it do?! Do I join my sister in the kitchen and try not to scream I freak out and run to my room...or grab a slipper and let out some bottled up negativeness and slap the shit out of the cockroachs...

...well, I'll let you guess. [But let me say that I've lived in the Philippines for six years...and seen way bigger cockroaches that those ones running around in our living.]

...AND if it were spiders running around in the living would be all over. I would be all over. *laughs*

oh yeah...did you know they fly?! :)