Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sometimes, I just wish...*sigh*


Well, lots of things have happened since I last updated my blog thingy thing thing, no?! I'm not much bothered to go into much much details…but uhm…yeah…I'm a year older so thanks to all of you who remembered…meant a lot to me, and those of you who forgot…hm…oh well, life keeps going, no?! *smiles*
School has taken front and center of my life at this moment…BUT not my thoughts…SOMEONE has been occupying that…*laughs* I bet you all want to know about that…jejeje…yeah, Imma keep that to myself a lil longer for a bit though. *smiles:kilig feelings!* But yeah, what was I saying…oh yeah, school. I swear it's like I have no break from school. Yeah, there was a storm last week and so school was called off for a bit because of it, but that meant no electricity and no water, and it was HOT…that's the difference between here and home…if there is storm at home, I can't breath because it's so COLD (*laughs* memory: walking to class in PUC when it was wintertime (remember those times Chelle?!) and everyone knows that when it's cold, I freeze up…literally and I can't move or breath and I'm in lethargic mode or something…well, that's if I'm outside or something. *laughs* but over here, when it storms…yeah there's more than a breeze but it's still super hot and I'm in the house sweating like a human waterfall because there is no electricity and I end up going outside to be in the storm juss because it's that much cool! *laughs* and there's hell of a lot more light outside than there is inside my house. But yeah, school takes up most part of my life at this moment. Yep, no time for friends or social life…but that never stopped me from having no fun at all, right?! *laughs*

I have class early in the morning…until late in the evening because one of my classes needed to change the time for the class and so since the change for the class had to be compatible with everyone…it's at  night time…from 6-8:pm and then on Friday's from 7-9 in the morning! I am SO not a morning person and I swear I feel bad for all my classmates that I have in the morning…because even though I talk a lot and I'm so "animated" and you all know me…but yeah…in the morning…raise your hand if you remember how I am I the morning…! Okay, except for you Sarah! Another memory…riding the school bus! In the morning I would sit next to Sarah, and Sarah wasn't a morning person and I would talk and talk to her and she would look out the window…listening, but I think more half asleep, I think! *laughs* but I don't have the kind of energy anymore where I can talk and talk in the morning. I'm still trying to wake up at 7:am. It's because I'm up studying. *laughs* I mean it, I actually study…and then before I sleep, most of the time, I can't sleep unless I write (in my journal and to Chris *smiles*). I gotta get out all these emotions and feelings and thoughts and stuff or I won't be able to go to sleep.

My major classes for Psychology are the best ever and I'm having so much fun taking them. But I really dislike my Filipino Psychology class. I wish that foreigner's don't have to take this class. But then yeah. This is the class that is late in the evening and then early on Friday. *rolls eyes* I'm really enjoying me Human Development class and my Theories of Personality class. I'm really learning about the development of humans and the how personality comes to a person. And it's a lot of fun. I remember learning all of this when I was taking Early Childhood Education…and I loved it then too. Sucks that none of my credits have transferred over so I had to start all over again, I think I could have been out of here this year, but nope my credits didn't transfer over. Boo to that! Oh well…life keeps moving and the smile is still on my face. *smiles*
It's funny because my friends who are also in Psychology, but are in a higher level are telling me that the more that you study Psychology and learn about the disorders and mental illnesses…I'm gonna find that I'm have a lot of the symptoms! And it was laughing because as I was reading about Sigmund Freud and I think that I am fixated in the "Oral Stage." According to Sigmund Freud the oral stage of a child's life is when a infant receives gratification through the mouth. (Okay, if you should know, it seemed that Mr. Frued was a sex maniac and thought that everything was related to sex somehow, but I personally think that he does have a lot of sexual though and such, but that's it's about!) But for his oral stage, if you think about it, a infant will cry and cry and then you feed him/her (OBVIOUSLY through the mouth) and then the baby will be "gratified" and then viola! The baby won't cry anymore. Here, let me juss write it out for you! "The oral stage, the first stage of psychosexual development, lasts from birth until some time during the second year of life. During this period the infant's principal source of pleasure is the mouth. The infant derives pleasure from sucking, biting and swallowing. Of course the mouth is used for survival—for ingestion of food and water—but Freud placed a greater emphasis on the erotic satisfactions derived from oral activities." Jejeje…now you can see how people would think that he thinks about sex a lot! Anyways, here is where I think I fit in… "Adults fixated at the oral incorporative stage are excessive concerned with oral activities, such as eating, drinking, smoking and kissing. If, as infants, they were excessively gratified, their adult oral personality will be predisposed to unusual optimism and dependency. Because they were overindulged in infancy, they continue to depend on others to gratify their needs. As a consequence, they are overly gullible, will "swallow" anything they are told, and trust other people inordinately. Such people are labeled oral passive personality types." And then my teacher was saying that if you meet a person who talks A LOT…always has something to say, they are fixated here as well. And then we all started laughing…why?! Because yeah, I have that curse or could it be a blessing that I talk a lot…sometimes too much…but a lot. *laughs* Hm…I don't know…I actually don't eat a lot, you all know that I don't drink and smoke…and uhm…kissing…?! Well, I blow kisses in the air a lot…but I haven't had anyone to kiss in a long time…and you all know "A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed!" *laughs* But I am unusually optimistic about a lot of things and usually all the time. And yeah, I do tend to depend on people…but I know that I can survive on my own if I have too. I don't think that I'm gullible…! And I know that I don't juss "swallow" what people tell me! I do tend to trust people…in that I don't judge the person and believe that everyone is a good person by heart and stuff…but when it comes to deep trust you can have that only once, and I don't give it out very often, and once lost, it's lost. So I don't know about that. But according to my psych teachers…they say that they have never met anyone who has talked so much and so fast and actually knows what she is saying! I mean, HELLO! Of course I know what I'm saying!!! Why wouldn't I?! I'm the one saying it…*laughs*

So, I know that a lot…or some of you…well, I don't know…but there were those of your who went to Mexico for that mission trip! So how did that go?! I know that my brother went…and I saw pictures of my daddy and my brother! Oh gosh, I so miss them a lot! Uhm..yeah…people at home!? One comment (or several) WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY BROTHER'S HAIR! Don't tell me that the last time he cut it was when I was home last!? My goodness…! Well, I can see now that he has hair more like my sister than like mine…but then again, my sister use to have hair like mine, but I don't know what happened. *smiles* But goodness gracious, I haven't seen his hair like that in my whole entire life! I mean, he use to have that infamous bowl-cut that all you boys had when you were younger…for crying out loud I use to have that cut! *laughs* But I'm seeing the pictures and it's super long! Well, not SUPER long, but long…well, it's all good, he told me that when I get home he's gonna let me and Melissa cut it…I'm wondering, should I buzz his head, or should I juss to the fade out that I use to like him in?! *laughs* well see, maybe by the time I get home he already will let Melissa cut it. *laughs* but I do sorta wanna see this phenomenon that has happened while I was gone!

Goodness, lots of things have happened in the "short" time that I was gone! So many people getting married…and graduations that I have missed and birthdays and parties and everything! I'm missing out! Awww…I'm so sad! But it's all good, at least I can still hear all the stories, no!? Jejeje…gosh, I miss you all so much. It's not so bad here…I guess it could be a lot worst if I thought about it, but I'm not thinking about it…and so it's not a lot worst! *laughs*

So me and my friend Deemo (Redeem) went to celebrate our birthday's together at this really REALLY nice Hawaiian Restaurant…and it was nothing like L&L or Ohana's at home, it was like a bed and breakfast actually…and the place was really nice. Don't get me wrong,  I still love L&L and Ohana's at home, nothing but going to Hawaii can really beat that…and if I had to say, the food didn't really taste all that Hawaiian and the atmosphere really wasn't all that Hawaiian at all….but the food was really nice! It was really yummy! I was looking for I would normally get in Ohana's but the food was more like I don't even know how to describe it…not like Hawaiian, that's for sure…but I'm not complaining because the food was really good. And we stayed there for like hours! F'realz!? No joke! Because we were the only customers at that time and it wasn't until later that people started coming and so we had all their attention, and when people actually started coming…they were all these guys and they were buying us drinks! *laughs* It was a lot of fun. I have pictures and stuff…but then, I have to get them from Deemo, because she has them. Eddie has my camera so I couldn't use my camera because I couldn't find him to get it back when I left, and then also we don't have a lot of pictures because Redeem's battery ran out! SUCKS…but it's all good because I have memory and it was fun. I always have fun with Redeem…don't bee fooled by her "quiet nature." She's really fun…! *laugh* Kinda, sorta, but not really like Joyness…Joyness is quiet, but she's is loud, crazy fun when she's with people she knows! *laughs* But of them are! And you all know that I sweat that Deemo has a voice of an Angel…very pretty voice…she's the one who is actually teaching me a song that me and Pres are gonna sing for my sister's wedding…oh goodness…I hope that goes well! *laughs* My sister wants a Tagalog song…! I will NEVER take the English language for granted! EVER! Trust me, come to a country where English is NOT the first language and you will appreciate it all the more! *laughs* But yeah, Imma be singing in Tagalog! So watch out! *laughs*

Well, something has come up. I have to go.

*hugs and kisses*

Thursday, June 5, 2008

...ugh...


So lets see, I'm juss a little irritated that I have no more privacy at my apartment. And that it doesn't seem like it's "my" apartment anymore. I'm not complaining…but I really do NOT like this arrangement that we have now…I paid for my own place so that I can have my own place and my own privacy…but now my living room, the spare room AND my room are taken and the only place that I can even have privacy is in the bathroom. And even that isn't as private as it could since the door doesn't have a door knob and so the door always has to be slightly open…and yeah. I'm irritated.

FOUR more months! Can you believe that! Only four more months and then I get to go home and I'm so stoked about that!  I don't know how Eddie, Jo and Leeya can do it…stay here for years at a time, it's like I have to go home to recharge…so I am admitting right now, I'm not as strong as they are…I can not stay here forever. Nope…and I so need that break of going home. I can't wait to see everyone. One month here is like 3 months…but I know that one month at home is like one week…so even though it is sorta-ishy, but not really, but ishy a month that I'll be home…it's going to go so fast…but no matter, I'm so excited…because I'll be home for my sister's wedding, my brother's (and Chris' J) birthday, my parents wedding anniversary and my dad's birthday (crosses fingers! I hope!!)…that's good enough for me. I know that I won't be able to get to do everything that I want to do, but oh well, I'll be able to do most things I know. I can't wait to play volleyball again that's for sure! And juss be able to soak in the tub and take a hot ass shower and drink jamba juice again…oh man…I'm getting myself all worked up! *laughs*

This last week has been really hot, hot HOT! And basically I have to stay in my room if I'm in the house, so I try to get out of the house as much as I can. I use to always stay in the living room, but since Jyn and Joy aren't fixing the spare room with all their stuff…they have to sleep in other places around my small ass apartment…and even though this place is a lot bigger than the first apartment, it's still small…and so Jyn sleeps out in the living room and Joy sleeps in my room. So there goes me always being in the living room…(there is only room enough for one person in that living room) and Joy sleeps in my room on the bottom bunk, which I had to clean out because I usually put my "office" stuff in there…

I hate staying in my room, it's so hot…Jyn and Joy sleep FOREVER…it's already 1.31pm and they are still sleeping, and since there is no window's in my room, there is barely any light, but I still can't turn the light on because it's rude…Joy is still sleeping kasi. And I can't go out in the living room to chill out there because that is where Jyn is sleeping. I really wish that they would juss fix up their stuff in my spare bedroom so that they can sleep there. I don't like being in my house anymore because I feel so caged up. It's hella hot and in my room it's so stuffy…that is why at 2.pm, I'm going to get ready to go to town…and juss hang out in Starbucks…that has to be a lot better than juss staying here in my room…since there is nothing I can do…I tried to write a letter, but then it's so dark in my room that I can barely see even with my nightlight on. Why do they have to sleep forever…and why can't they juss get up early (…EARLIER…) so that they can clean out that room…when they are awake all they are going to do is watch movies or something…my electricity bill is going to go skyhigh, I already know it.

Yesterday I had a fever. I had gone to Manila with my friend Deborah, who I must say has to be one of the most funniest person's I know, because she didn't want to go to immigration by herself and so I went with her…and it was mad hot. Like oh my goodness it was super duper hot! I thought that I was going to faint for the first time because it was so hot and there was nowhere that I could escape from the heat. Deb wanted to leave at 6.30am and so I got ready (oh yeah, that's another thing that irritates me beyond belief…how I can't even get ready in my own room…I have to bring everything out to the kitchen and get ready there so that I can have light to get ready…) and met her at the gate…I was actually shocked because we actually finished her student visa at 12.pm! So that was good, usually it takes me all day to do it…and then some…because sometimes I have to go back if I don't get it finished. Anyways…going to Immigration this time, the bus that I like to take wasn't there anymore (they say that they don't have that bus any longer!!! What?!?!) so I had to take another bus. It was a good thing that I also knew that way because Eddie told me about that way…instead of taking the Lawton bus…(because the way that I like to take is take the Lawton bus all the way down to Lawton get off and either walk for 3 minutes to immigration or if it's too hot to walk take a jeepney for php7…easy, no?!) we had to take the LRT/Buendia bus…I don't like that one because it's more complicated to get to Immigration with a lot of times that you can go wrong and stuff…but I knew it…because yeah. I had to remember! *laughs* we got to Immigration at 8.30am…and got Debs student visa…coming back it was SOOO very hot! By the time I got back, I was so exhausted and tired like none other! We didn't get back until 3.pm…and then I knocked out…and I woke up to write my friend a bit, but I was such in a irritated mood, I had to sign off quick because you can tell I was in a bad mood…then I tried to go to sleep…but I felt sooo hot even with the fan on me, I couldn't cool off…so I hopped in the shower and tried to cool off…but I couldn't and that was when I knew that I had a fever because I was really hot…I'm so swear that even in the shower I was sweating…but I was shivering because I was getting chills…and BAM…that was when I knew that I had a fever. I got out of the shower…got into bed again…with the fan on me again…but I was still sweating and shivering…it wasn't until around 2.30am than I knew that the fever had pass. I hate when that happens!

My goodness, how can Jyn and Joy sleep so long…?! Because I'm nice, I can't do anything because I don't wanna wake them up! Ugh…
Well, Imma hop in the shower to cool off…and then get ready, because I wanna go to Paseo…I think Imma bring my laptop so that I can go online in Starbucks and juss update my stuff…and yeah…anyways…I still miss you all so much and I love you!!

*hugs and kisses*

A nice story to reflect on this day: A man experienced being robbed by thieves. In his diary he wrote: "Let me be thankful first, because they took my purse and not my life; second, although they took my all, it was not much especially my faith; and third, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed." Let us see God's purpose behind every trial and the good things behind the worst situations.
(My friend Percy gave me that story and I juss wanted to share that with you.)

[Transferred from my myspace blog]