Sunday, December 28, 2008

I'll be.


1) Name one boy who'​s hurt you?
jejeje...i try not to think of them
2) Name a girl who is alway​s by your side?​
uhm....

3) Name what type of music​ you liste​n to?
lots really...basically everything, i'm pretty opem-minded...but i do love island music and rock...jeje...

4) Name one frien​d you'​ve gotte​n back latel​y?​
hm...the past is past...

5) Name the last reaso​n you cried​?​
lol...naturally when i have a panic attack, the tears come...not that i want them too!

6) Who was the last boy you were with?​
uhm...i'm with my cuzz0, Eddie right now...
7) What would​ be your "​perfe​ct date"​?​
with the "perfect" person...jejeje...i know...such a typical answer...

8) What is your favor​ite quote​?​
wow, i have a lot..."you can close your eyes to reality, but you can't close you eyes to the memories." is one of the hundreds....

9) Is there​ one perso​n you'​ll love for the rest of your life?​
jejeje...yep​
10) How is your life?​
my life is still going...and it's interesting...jejeje...
11) Do you drive​?​
people insane?! yeah, at times with my constant FAST talking...jejeje...

12) When do you turn 18?
in a few years....jejeje...
13) What did you ask for, for Chris​tmas?​
uhm...i'll let you know when i get it

14) What guy can you tell anyth​ing to?
my brother

15) Do you own any jewle​ry that a boy bough​t you?
yep. i'm such a sentimental person...lol. but you would be surprised at how much i've also thrown out...! jejeje...

16) What would​ make you fall in love?​
it should juss happen....

17) What is your dream​ car?
i can picture her in my mind...but i don't know her exact name. jejeje....
18) What did you last say outlo​ud?​
"Eddie, watch my stuff...i gotta pee*laughs*
19) Is anyon​e mad at you right​ now?
hope not...if so...tell me

20) What is your curre​nt frust​ratio​n?​
oh man...that's another story, man!
21) Do you drink​ under​age?​
all the time

22) When did you last laugh​ reall​y hard?​
yesterday...::thinks back...:: *spread eagle*  *ROTFLMAO*
23) How many proms​ have you gone to?
0

24) Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne who'​s name start​s with the same lette​r as your name?​
yes, what now?!
25) What is your favor​ite song?​
it's hard to pick on...but i've always loved the song "My Valentine" by Martina McBride...ironic since i hate that day...jejeje...
26) Hones​tly do you want to be in a relat​ionsh​ip?​
uhm....let me get back to you on that one..
27) Are you movin​g anyti​me soon?​
hopefully


28) When was the last time you talke​d to your ex?
my most recent one?! uhm...
29) What is a turn on?
"eye connection. if its good, then baby, its goooooood..." I totally agree here...
30) Do you do somet​hing daily​?​
yepperz...
31) Do you want to be in love?​
whats love?
32) How old do you wish you were?​
25

33) Do you miss a guy?
yep...
34) What did you last eat?
Dolce de leche piece of yummy cake :)

35) Do you have a pool?​
nope

36) How many peopl​e do you live with?​
zero...juss myself


37) How many kids do you want to have?​
I want twin boys then a baby girl...then imma adopt 2. but whatever happens...happens. jejeje...
38) Anything exciting happening to you this week?
let me think...uhm....i'm still thinking...
39) Who are you thinking about this very moment?
jejeje....wouldn't you love to kow...or not


40) Say something to the camera:
love me*laughs*

41) Is there someone who likes you that you don't feel the same way about?
yep...

42) What's in front of you?
this monitor screen...right!?

43) What do you hear at this precise moment?
frikin a...all them peoplez who are playing DOTA hella loud!

44) Are you going to see the person you like later?
how long is later?!
45) 50 nifty United States:
"from 13 original COLONIES!! LOL!"---yep yep!
46) How does the weather look like?
it's perfect...i love this weather, if i close my eyes and stand outside, i could be at home. *laughs* in the fall time *laughs*

47) What plans do you have for today?
I might go to Alabang Town Center, see whats out and stuff...jejeje...try not to be bored...
48) Who do you think will fill this survey out?
whoever is bored...
49) Last person you chatted with on IM?
i'm chatting with daimler benz right now...lol. "hi bud!"

50) What do you want at this very moment?
popcorn and cotton candy and then coffee..lots and lots of coffee. LOL

[Transferred from my myspace blog]

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I wonder...


I wonder what life is all about, who controls what happens in life and who made up all the rules in life. The whole "life isn't fair…" should be re-
looked at, I think. But then again, "being fair" to one person is "being unfair" to another one, so I guess there is a balance in life and stuff. It juss kinda sucks when you're on the other end of the balancing scale and stuff…

I wonder were all that "inner strength" comes from. You know how people tell you, "you're strong, you can make it…you have that inner strength" or something like that…where does that inner strength come from and where can you buy more of it?! *laughs* If only I could buy more of it.

I wonder who it is that plays with your emotions. I know that you supposedly have control over your emotions, but sometimes it juss gets out of hand, and then you do stuff that you regret, or not…but why does it get out of hand, when for the longest time you had control over it and stuff.


I wonder why parents always want "the best for their kids…" but when you ask them what the best is for us, it usually has something to do with money…like what is best for us would make us "financially stable." Maybe whatever they want for us IS the best for us…FINANCIALLY…but what about everything else…like emotionally and stuff.

I wonder what makes emotions. Like if you hurt yourself physically, you for the most part can heal…most times. For crying out loud, you can put a bandaid on it and kiss it and it's "all better now." But when you get emotionally hurt or your feelings hurt…how do you kiss and make that all better?

I wonder what "I love you" really means? I mean, to everyone it means something different. When someone tells me "I love you" and then they do something to hurt me—like betray me or lie to me, I question…is that love?…if it is…I want nothing to do with it.

I wonder what it means to miss someone. Where those words juss made up to make someone else feel wanted for the time being? What does it mean?! It implies that you think about them…but do you really? Are they juss words of lies…or juss something to say to fill the silence?

I wonder makes a person say things. Yeah, I talk a lot, but that's because I like to share. And if you notice, I like to share a lot of things…my words and stories being one of those "a lot of things." But for other people, what makes them say things? Words have so much power and I think that people don't really know that.

I wonder how a person can feel so many different things at the same time, but yet still understand why they feel those many things. I'm happy that I have a family, but I'm sad that I disappoint them. I'm excited for the end of this semester, but I'm scared because of what might not happen. I love the people who are in my life, but I hurt because of them.

I wonder if there is anyone out there who means what they say. It kinda sucks because I even question God about that. Like I have a lot of people saying that they "are always there for me, no matter what time, no matter what day, no matter what…" but yet, when I need them, they are no where to be found…or they leave me.

I wonder if it's possible to cry so much that you have no more tears in you. I mean, these past 5 weeks Im swear I've cried so much when I'm alone here in my apartment…and it's not like I want to…it's juss that the tears of anger, frustration, stress, sickness, confusion, and tiredness juss comes when I least expect it…and I wonder when they will ever stop.

I wonder if you can still mean your smile when you're sad. I don't like fake people…but yet, I know when I'm sad, I can still muster up that smile to let people know that "everything is going to be okay." And I really do mean the smile, I really do. Because I'm the kind of girl who likes to smile at people so that they can know that someone cares and stuff…but if I'm sad, does it still count?

I wonder if juss because you give up, does that still mean that you're a quitter? Hm…maybe saying "give up" should be changed to "doing something different" or something like that. But what if you don't want to quit, but you realize that you're working for nothing, so you change your plans, does that mean you still are a quitter?

I wonder if you do quit, does that mean you a loser? Like, will you always being quitting everything that you do…making you are loser in everything you do?

I wonder how you can live the life you want, without disappointing others. I really wonder this, because it seems as if I'm always disappointing people and yet, I'm still not happy, because I'm still trying to please them…something that can never happen, and I guess this juss makes me stupid now because I realize this, but I'm still trying. But I know that if I stop trying, then I'm stopping my attempt of being happy.

I wonder if you can still claim to be happy when deep down inside you know that you're not. At least, not happy with yourself…but you're happy in general.

I wonder if I have to continue having to do this because the one person you don't want to disappoint will be disappointed yet again if you don't. But what if continuing doing this kills me, maybe [well, I know] not physically…but in everything else.

I wonder if believing in love is another blind leap of faith. Because you know what everyone says love is, you know what the dictionary says about it…but when it's implied to you, it's anything but what everyone says and what the dictionary says…but you still believe in it because of what you believe it could be.

I wonder why people believe that the blood of Christ has saved all of humankind, but yet, when you see your own blood, it's a "bad thing"…I mean it saves you, right…? It might not have saved the whole of humankind, but it saved you for the time being. And that's what matters, right?

I wonder why I feel so different here than I do at home. I'm suppose to be one person right? But why is it when I'm here I'm nothing like I am at home, and when I'm at home, I'm truly much more happier…but I can't stay at home.

I wonder why being hurt emotionally can't juss be the same as being hurt physically. It would make life so much more easier. But I hate how emotionally it takes forever, if ever, to heal…when physically, it does heal with time—something that when you're hurt emotionally it doesn't apply.

I wonder if you can truly disappear. I mean, as long as someone remembers you, you can't disappear, unless you mess with their mind and make them think that you were only a dream or something. But I wonder if it's possible to disappear.

I wonder why people say, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" when it's not true. I think words are the most powerful things that can hurt you.

I wonder who made it so that money is a big motivating factor in a person's life. Why couldn't it be something like happiness or something that money can't buy.

I wonder why people assume things a lot. And expect things a lot. And if they don't get it, they are disappointed. Like they assume that you are okay…but when you're not they "have to" sit there listening to all your woes and stuff…when in reality you were juss suppose to say, "I'm good."

I wonder why people even bother asking how you are when they don't wanna or even care what your answer is…as long as it's "I'm fine."

I wonder why people like to pretend they know how you feel…when no one knows how you really, truely feel…yeah, I think that people could know how your MIGHT feel…but that's about it since everyone is unique.

I wonder why people think they are so great and mighty and that everyone should always admire them and praise them…what makes people think like that? And then when you don't think like that, they cap on you and make your life miserable. Who put them on the pedestal?

I wonder why there are people who keep holding on, when they know that they prolly are holding on to nothing in the end.

I wonder why it's so hard to tell someone how you really feel…

I wonder why people like to make other people feel like crap…and have no conscious about it.

I wonder what changes a person's mind…

[Transferred from my myspace blog]