Thursday, March 31, 2011

End of March.

Wow, if February took forever to end...I feel as if March went by so fast! This was pretty emotional month to say the least...and I can't believe that it's over.

Taken by Raquel Gonzalez
My challenge of my new preschoolers is still my challenge. But I am so happy because I know that it takes time for little ones to adjust...and for the most part, they have adjusted. My lil angel though, she's having a hard time adjusting what with her family situation and everything. But I know that she can pull though and I know that with enough love she will be able to be someone in this world.

I still can't believe that my dear friend Cameron is gone. Every time I hear a motorcycle rush by, I can't help but say a little prayer for their safety. It's hard for me to grasp the fact that when I go visit California, he won't be there with his bear hugs...I have no doubt that I will see him again one day. My heart is still heavy from the loss and I know that everyone that was touched by him still feels it, but as long as we remember him, he will live on. 

My heart was broken in a lot of ways this month, but I have learned that I can't live in the past but that I have to move on. Yes, I learned that a long time ago actually, but it's something that I have to keep working on. What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger, right?! I regret nothing that made me smile though. I do wish him the best in life hard feelings for him, but damn, Karma is a bitch, and one day, he'll know it.

I have been more active lately. I started doing stomach crunches and push-ups when I wake up everyday. And on the weekends, I do a lot of working out. I swim at least 2 1/2 hours...and I go jogging/walking with Ciccio while Kaleo and the team is training for the 1/2 marathon. I feel like I'm losing more weight, which is a good feeling.

I did buy me some really nice jogging/walking shoes...and they are super comfy and they make me want to work out more in them! *laughs* So that was a good incentive!

I found out today that my car is considered totaled from the accident that my sister got in. That makes me really sad, coz it's my first car and I like that car. So now we have to try figure that out...but I am glad that my sister is okay though...her back is still giving her spasms, but I'm glad that she is doing a lot better.

The tsunami scare was pretty crazy. I'm glad that it wasn't as bad as everyone thought that it would have been. But my heart goes out to all those who were affected in the Japan 8.9 earthquake. The family of the victims and just everyone who know and had to go through that horrible catastrophe. I know that it will take a long time for them to pull through, but I'm glad that everyone is trying to do their part to help. So Japan, I am sending out good vibes your way and I wish for you hope. 

I did get to relax more and spend more time with my friends...and yes, this month was a pretty good month if I say so myself. Here's to March...thank you for your memories!

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."-Kevin Arnold 

Kelsie & Kirwin Wedding.

Congratulations to Kelsie and Kirwin on their wedding! I don't remember when I did this wedding...but this was one of the earlier ones that I did, but we just got their pictures from *Dulce by Visionary, so thank you Dulce...all these pictures are from them.

This wedding took place on Loulu Palms Estate...a very beautiful place. I have to say that this was one of my favorite weddings that I did. It took place outside and there was a huge tent that they had their reception. The wedding ceremony took place outside with a very beautiful view. I remember that this was the wedding that I first saw the Lion Dance...and that was pretty cool!!

*(All pictures are from Dulce by Visionary, I take NO credit for them.)

The beautiful bridal bouqet

We thoughtfully added these charms of the bride's mother who had passed away. I thought it was a sweet touch to the bouquet.
We used the "picture frame" for this wedding. It was also a circular seating arrangement for the ceremony. I had the privilege of being the one to do the arrangement for the frames. It looks so simple, ya?! But I remember being so paranoid wondering if it was okay! I think it turned out nice.

Just a close up of the flowers used for the frame.
We had several different kinds of center pieces. I really liked how they all weren't the same! The bride had gotten a lot of books and so we used all those used books as part of the decoration! It was really nice!

We were able to used the books to add that extra touch of romance to the table.

For the bride and groom, we had put these glittered hummingbirds and nests to symbolized the parents that were not able to be there on their special day.

I really liked the center pieces for this wedding a lot! And I love how we were able to use the really added a lot of class, at least I think...
This was the wedding party table.
We had extra roses...and so to add more to the romantic feel we were able to use those extra roses as curtain dressings. I was so happy that we were able too, because it really did add more to the atmosphere. The straw itself was a nice touch, but the roses really said a lot.
These birdcages were a PAIN to do...but it was SO worth it! I love how they were hanging on the first I was scared that they were going to fall at some point of the ceremony...but they didn't...and I LOVE them! cute!

Yep...I really liked this wedding...and I remember it being so pretty when it got dark and it was a lot more dimmer and the candles that were on the tables were lit...oh, it was beautiful!
Congratulations Kelsie and Kirwin...!!! 

"Give her two roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dream house.

If I could have a room or house or something like this...that would be sooo amazing! Whenever I don't have anything to do...and I'm tired from all exercising and everything...and I just want to look at pictures and dream of what I can have one day...I like to look up rooms and decorating things. I think that it would be so much fun to decorate my own place and have it all mine. My own little space in the world that I can go to to get away from everything. A lot of these places are just wow, wow, wow!! :) For now, I will pretend on how my dream house will look like. And I say I want a simple house...I do, that's where I have the best memories...but I like to dream too. :)
In the back of my dream house is a cottage...and this is one of my rooms.
Ohhh!!! This is the kind of closet that I would LOVE to have! At least ONE of my closets! *laughs*
Oh mandope, I would have loved to have this as a dorm room or something...if I have a room like this in my would be like a guest room or something!
This would so be my outside living room or something! It looks so peaceful and beautiful! Like and outside lounge place or something! But Hm...that would suck if it started to rain...I would have to take everything inside.
Maybe I'll just move all my outside living room stuff inside my indoor pools bedroom or something. *laughs* Kind of unrealistic, but it would be cool to have a room like this in my house!
And in my outside treehouse, I could have the room look like this! It can be another guest room, or I can stay here when it's hot and I want to take a nap or sleep in a breezy area to keep cool. :)
And in one of my turrets in my house, I can have my secret getaway. I can have secret stairs leading up o this place so that no one can know about it. And it can be sound proof and everything and it's my secret hidaway place. *laughs*
And one of my guest rooms will look like this...because I like the layout. And yeah. All my guest rooms will look different from each other though.
I would have one of the layouts of my guest housing look like this. A loft studio room. 

Oh okay...that's it for now! But my dream house is pretty big! *laughs* I'll probably add more later! :)

Sea glass.
My sister collects sea glass. A couple weeks ago when we went to the secret beach at North Shore, she was able to get a few pieces there and she put it in her back pack for safe-keeping. This last weekend, I used my sister's back-pack when I went biking at Ka'ena Point. Since we left so early, I know I just emptied everything out of the bag and now the sea glass is sitting here at my desk.

This morning when my phone alarm went off, I reached for it and instead of grabbing my phone, my fingers brushed against the sea glass. Grabbing it and my phone, I pressed the snooze button on my phone and spent my "snooze" time just looking at the smoothed out, burnt orange, piece of glass.

I wonder how long it took the waves to form this piece of glass. Broken glass is sharp, shiny even with the ability to cut though skin. Through constant rolling in the sand from the waves, this pence of glass was able to become a collector's item. Who knew that a broken piece of glass would one day be admired enough to add it to a collection of other broken pieces of glass?

I love the ocean. It's my place to get away from everything. Swimming in the ocean relaxes me. I love just swimming out, flip over and just lay on the waves and let the ocean relax me and carry all my stress away for just a moment. I know right now, I'm confused about a lot things, and I'm trying to sort things out in my life. I'm just like a broken piece of glass, sharp, and unformed. But living here in Hawaii, near to my beloved ocean, I feel as if I'm finally finding myself. I know who I am, but I think I'm finally understanding who I am.

I think the the ocean has healing powers. Oh that reminds me! Last Sunday when I was swimming at Queens Beach in town, I was really scared. They had put out signs that they had spotted jellyfish and that swimmers should be careful when they go out swimming because yeah, swimming into a jellyfish would NOT be good. I have already gotten stung by a jellyfish, was NOT fun. So I was just standing in the water being all scared to swim out...when I saw anther sign being put out. I yelled at my brother and was like, please don't let it be warning about sharks!!, and he yelled about that it was sign saying "healing waters" and I was like whatever!! But it really was! *laughs* So, I did my 2 1/2 hours of swimming that day. Yes, I believe the ocean and it's waves can do a lot of things...including make a nuisance piece of glass turn into a collectors item.

"Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war." - Loren Eiseley

Tattoo Pictures.

I know that I always say that I'm going to get a tattoo one of these days, and maybe one day I will get one. But for now, I like looking at some and think of the ones that I will eventually get.
I know I would like a sparrow tattoo, or bird tattoo. I really like this one...but just brainstorming, I do want to get the work hope maybe on the right hand, really small in-between, under the cage and the birds...that's what I would do. I like how the birds are flying out of the cage.
I would never get this tattoo, but I think that it's pretty cool. Kinda like Fuck Love...*laughs*
This one would clash with the side tattoo that I really want to get, but I like the stars across the stomach in this one. I like stars...
Another tattoo that I wouldn't get, but I do like wings. A lot...and feathers.

"When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul."-Michelle Delio

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

One Hour.

This morning I woke up one hour before my alarm went off. I was wide awake...and I had the choice whether or not to get out of bed or not. I wanted to be lazy so stayed in bed until my alarm went off and I even pressed the snooze button once.

I don't know why I woke up, my bed was fine...and I was comfy; my eyes just opened and I was awake. Funny how that goes. I hope that this day goes uneventful when it comes to the kids and that something unexpected happens that makes me smile. Lots of things can do that, so most likely that will happen.

Here's to Tuesday!
"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you." Winnie the Pooh

Tikki Tikki Tembo.

Yesterday, Maui Academy of Performing Arts (MAPA) came to our preschool to perform a puppet show for our kids. They performed the book Tikki Tikki Tembo Arlene Morsel, and I have to say that they did a really good job at it too! It was super funny! Can you imagine if you had a name as long as Tikki tikkit tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi- pip peri pembo?!

All the kids watched it...and a lot of them were laughing. In my class some of them were bopping their head to the music, others were just staring wide eyed...but the majority of them were crying. One of my little ones had to sit on my lap and face me the whole time with this scared look on his face! It was so sad...but then again, the puppets did look kind of...scary in a way to a 2 year old. But I thought it was funny. *laughs*

All in all, it thought it was a pretty good performance in-spite of all the scared little ones. Very entertaining for sure!

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."-Stacia Tauscher

Monday, March 28, 2011


I saw this and it made me smile. If only...

I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm again today. I don't know whether or not I like waking up like that. I guess its okay, because it gives me that choice to either relax in my bed for 15 minutes before getting my ass up, or get my ass up and just get ready for work early. I got my ass up and got ready for work early today.

It's a Monday. We'll see if it was worth it. *laughs*

I know that I wasn't like this before...but I realize now that I'm pretty picky with a lot of things. No, don't get me wrong, I'm definitely NOT high maintenance, which by the way, that is high up on my "worst-things-you-can-call-me" list. I just like certain things in a certain my bed.

My bed is one thing that I'm super picky about. I think the reason why I wake up, is because yes, I move around a LOT when I sleep and my blankets get all messed up, and my pillows move every which way, and then I get uncomfortable, and then I wake up. I fix my bed constantly. I hate when I'm sleeping and one blanket is higher then the other. Or one blanket is folded weird. Or one blanket is about to fall of the bed. Or one blanket has completely disappeared. Or one pillow is moved somewhere. Or one pillow has fallen off the bed. Or one pillow moves out of place. get my point. Yes, I will wake up to fix it...or in this case, I will wake up and just get up.

This time it was my second blanket had worked itself up so it was way higher then the others, make it too much by my head and none at my feet. There was an imbalance of warmth and a annoying feeling of too much blanket on top. I woke up.

*laughs* It's really not that complicated, just annoying. And no, when I'm sleeping or sharing the bed with someone...I don't get that picky. It's only when I sleep alone. And yep, I sleep, well I start to sleep right smack dab in the middle of my bed and I move all over. *laughs* Again, not when I'm sleeping or sharing the bed with someone though. When that happens, I guess when I'm unconscious, my body still knows that there is someone else in the bed and I don't move as much. Which is a good thing, I guess...for them, not for me, coz I don't fully go to sleep. Oh well.

Well, here goes to Monday!

"On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men were created jerks."- H. Allen Smith, American Writer, 1906-1976

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Ka'ena Point.

So on Saturday, I met up bright and early at Tracy and Kaleo's house with my brothers and Adam. My sister was just getting over a cold, so she wasn't able to come along. We met up because we had planned to go biking around Ka'ena Point*. Adam was able to get us bikes on base we drove over with the guy's truck to Pearl Harbor base to get the bikes.

Oh mandope, the bikes were NICE! They were mountain bikes. I've never used mountain bike before. I've only used a beach cruiser...and these were brand spankin' new! And Adam was able to get them for really really cheap too! Way cheaper than what Tracy and I could find one for!

Taken from my friend Adam's fb page
We were all ready. We took two trucks; we loaded all the bikes in the beds and all smashed in the cab. Even adorable Ciccio came along. We planned to ride out bikes out to the point and find a nice beach to watch the high waves and eat lunch. But for some reason, no matter what we do, no matter where we go...THE RAIN FOLLOWS US! This wasn't the only time this happened either! Rain, rain, go away!! But we were all for it and wanted to take the challenge.

Tracy and I were the only girls that came. The boys were good riding their bikes but I'm so happy that Tracy was there! As soon as I got on my bike, it felt like home. It was good! I was worried for no reason at all...all because I haven't ridden a bike in forever, that doesn't mean that I forgot how! I guess it's one of those things that when you learn it, you won't ever forget how to do it. Good thing though, coz I didn't want to walk that trail...I did last time and it took more than 4 hours!

The trail is NOT smooth. Lets just say that it's a popular place to go 4-wheeling there were a lot of dips and grooves and rocks and it was good we had the mountain bikes, because wow, it was not a smooth ride. I was joking saying that it was like a roller coaster ride, powered by our legs. There was a lot of times where I could just it was like a roller coaster ride...bumpy with a lot of dips! I stayed with Tracy most of the time, the guys came and went their own...doing daring jumps, challenging each other to do crazy things with their bikes...shit, it was as if they were on a trick bike instead of a mountain bike! *laughs*

Tracy and I just kept each other company and tried to find the smoothest way to get through...on wait, there were none! *laughs* Going there to the point wasn't that bad. We had our stops because we were just by the coast line and the view was spectacular! No joke! So beautiful. So we would stop and play in the water when we got tired or juss rested by the shore for a bit. It was raining, so that made it really hard. We had to avoid the mud pits and the trucks and jeeps that were going by so we wouldn't get splashed with mud too much. I was cold at first, but the exertion that I put into biking made me feel hot right away.

Then we got to the wipe out. Literally we were ready for lunch and we were trying to get to a beach that Kaleo said was really nice, and the waters weren't as rough [North Shore waves are pretty rough], so we can play in the water a bit. But literally the path disappeared. Literally. We were going along when there was a 30 foot drop into rocks and the ocean. Yep, never underestimate the power of the ocean. It had wiped out like 60 feet of the road. You can see the road on the other side too. It was possible to cross it; Kaleo had brought rope. It was possible...if you were daring. I would have done it if we didn't have the bikes. But we had the bikes, and it was down right dangerous, because had to be very careful not to slip because once you did, you were going down. The bikes were to risky to carry and try to cross over so we had to find another beach.

And we did. The rain did stop while we were eating! *laughs* We found a little cove that we were able to bring out bikes down and find a nice place to eat our lunch. The water was super clear...seriously, like glass...but glass that was constantly moving. Not safe to get into...but we had fun looking at the fish at the tidepools, the boys were "playing baseball" with rocks and driftwood, me and Tracy were exploring and just relaxing.

Then we started on our way back. It was a lot harder. My. Butt. Was. In. Pain. The bike was made to be for a was NOT meant for a girl, and Tracy and I were in pain! The wind was against us...because when we started again, it started to rain REALLY hard...and the, it was like it was going to blow us into the sea! There were more hikers for some reason and they wouldn't move out of the way and more trucks and jeeps were 4-wheeling.

Since we started super early in the morning...we didn't have that problem coming out. Later on in the day that's when more people come out...and so that was when the problem came. It was okay though. I can not explain how much my butt hurt from the seat though! Tracy and I kept laughing...maybe we were hysteric or something...*laughs*

We were like maybe 1/4 miles away from the cars when trail was covered with hikers and trucks and jeeps...and we were forced to get off our bikes. We were drenching wet and we were just plain mud balls. We were a little upset though because we just wanted to get to the trucks and get home and take a warm was raining SUPER hard...we were cold, even though we were using energy to bike...but we were forced to stop. Tracy and I had told the guys to go ahead because we wanted to go at a slower pace since were were in pain.

Anyways...the hold up was because a jeep was stuck in a mud hole and all the trucks and jeeps were trying to join to get to pull it out. I give them props because it was in a place where there wasn't a lot of room, it was raining hard and so the ground was all slick from all the mud...and bystanders were just watching and people were trying to get them to move. I hope they got that truck out though!

Tracy and I ended up walking our bikes the rest of the way...mud caked our wheels and it was really hard to push or even ride them anymore because the wheels were all jammed from the mud. It was funny coz we were just laughing.

When we finally got back to Tracy and Kaleo's sister had joined us, and she had marinated meat for us to bar-b-que. Lucky for us, the rain stopped long enough for the boys to grill our meat. It sucked super much because I was dehydrated, and so I had a killer headache, but I did nearly drown myself in water trying to hydrate myself again! *laughs* We all took showers to get all the mud off of use and Kaleo introduced us to a really funny TV show called Better Than Ted . I'm sad that it's off the air now...because it's really funny and we watch a few episodes of that. I hope they bring it back, because it is funny. And I don't know think many people even knew about it. It's funny.

I hope we do more biking...and next time I'll get a girls bike..because mandope! My bum hurts! *laughs*

"I have always loved the beach. The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm." -Anonymous

*[All Ka'ena Point pictures I got from Ka'ena Point -- The Northwest Edge of Oahu]

Prince Kuhio.

Thank you Prince Kuhio for the holiday that we had last Friday! Yes, I had no work on Friday because it was Prince Kuhio's birthday. Nice.

This week was a tough week, so the off day on Friday was a welcome relief. My friend Adam is moving back to the mainland to continue his education [He is a Marines, but he's getting out on April 7], so we wanted to go camping this weekend. I love my friends here, because I'm more of an outdoorsy person, and a lot of my friends are outdoorsy people to...and "health freaks!" So it helps me be more healthy...

Anyways...yeah, we were suppose to go camping this weekend...BUT since it was a long weekend, all the good camping spots were all taken! So boo! We didn't get to go camping. But on Friday I was able to clean the whole house [yes, I can't sit still for long unless reading a good book or playing piano! :)] and finish two books. [The Warrior Heir and The Wizard Heir by Cinda Williams Chima]

While I was reading my good friend Tracy was texting me. Would I be into renting a mountain bike, because since Adam likes going outdoorsy stuff, we were thinking to have a weekend of outdoorsy stuff to do. I said as long as it was too expensive I was down to do it. Oh. My. Goodness. Let me think back to the last time I went, I don't even remember! Bike-a-ton?! When I was in Jr. High still?! *laughs*

I remember I use to go biking all the time when I was a kid! I miss it. I use to go around with my dad; he use to take us kids biking [and for me sometimes Scooter!] all over the place. Oh, I miss those times with my dad! We use to bike all over Vallejo; and when we use to live up in Legend Circle, we use to ride all over there, and since the place were all new, we would bike through dirt rides and there are houses over all those place. My dad use to take us to Benicia and we would go biking the trails there...I miss my dad so much. I miss the times we spent just enjoying the outdoors.

BUT...when was the last time I rode a bike?! Shit, I don't even know! So, I was kind of worried that I didn't even know how to balance the bike. But I was up for the challenge. After all the texting back and forth, I found a place where we could get the bikes, and when I was going to get us bikes, Tracy texted me saying that Adam was able to use get us bikes on base for super cheap.

That night we all went over to Tracy and Kaleo's place to have dinner together. Kaleo really wanted pozole and so they invited us over to have some. Our family made apple crisp. Yummy! Wow, yummy! *laughs* The pozole was super yummy too! The chicken literally fell off the bone it was so tender and the broth part of the dish was so good!

I love getting together with my friends! They are like my family here. Tracy moved here to marry her long-time boyfriend, and she is from California too, so she is in the same boat as we are...We all get along and for the most part, we all have the same likes. We're going to miss Adam a lot when he has to go back to the mainland. But he'll always visit...and we can always go see him.

All in all my Prince Kuhio Day was a really good day.

"You'll always have my shoulder when you cry/I'll never let go, never say goodbye."- Count on Me, Bruno Mars

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I wake up this morning the first thought in my head is, "Why didn't my alarm go off!? Am I late?!" *laughs* When I check my phone to see what time it is it shines 6:41am. Damn, I woke up 15 minutes before it was suppose to go off. And before that I woke up at 4:06am. And before that 3:00am.

I always wake up at 3:00am. Always. And for some reason, no matter if I'm working or chilling, I'm always looking at what time it is at 3:00pm. It's like this time that attracts me for some reason. A friend told me why, but that's scary stuff...but yeah, 3:00 am/pm.

Well, even though it was only 6:41am the last time I checked my phone, I got my ass up and got ready for my day. Doesn't hurt to get ready early. I use to hate mornings. I still do; I love sleeping, but there is something about mornings that make me smile...most times to myself-inside. *laughs* It's a fresh start to your life. Whatever happened yesterday is all the past and you can start all over with a clear mind [most of the time!], a new attitude and start a new beginning.

Yeah, I know, there are times where that is hard to do...letting go is kind of hard...but it's something about mornings that makes me feel "new" again. I know I'm such a girl...and sometimes I do grumble about having to wear my preschool's uniform shirt...but I take that as a challenge and still try to "dress me"...I get to choose my bottoms-should I wear pants?! What kind of pants?! Jeans?! Shorts?! Capri's?! Bermuda shorts?! Which shoes should I wear?! How do I do my hair?! And how should I "put my face on" today?! Yes, I love make-up! :) One thing though, I only wear stud earrings to work. I do work with 2 year olds who love to play with my hair, touch my ears, hug, and play with us teachers...I will not get my earring ripped out.

Mornings are filled with so many decision and choices...and I love the new start and the gift that God gave me to start over again. As long as you're alive and breathing, you can always make a difference in the world-starting with one person...a smile and a wave goes a long way. A hug and a kiss can show someone you care. A thoughtful gesture, a kind word...anything and it's all even though I claim I'm "not a morning person," thank you Jesus for giving me a new day. Because I refuse to let it go to waste...I will make a differences.

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour."-Author Unknown

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tiny Hands.
Being a preschool teacher allows me to have these moments where I get to be part of the learning experience of a 2 year old. I love watching the children's tiny hands. They are quite fascinating and it amazes me the things that they do with their hands that make me smile.

The other day the class caterpillar emerged from it's cocoon. So there was this beautiful monarch butterfly that we were going let free. We stressed the importance of not touching the wings of the butterfly when we let it out of the jar, because we already knew from their excited faces that they wanted to just grab it and hold it in their hands. But I was so proud of them, because even though excitement was written all over their faces...they stood still and never reached out to grab the delicate butterfly. The butterfly did choose three of my little ones to land on before flying off into the sky.

While helping one of the preschoolers to pull their pants up after they go shishi, they love to hold my face in their hands. Although it semi grosses me out because they did just use the bathroom, it makes me smile. Some of them you can barely make out the sentences that come out of their mouth, but they are so excited that they made shishi or doodoo in the toilet and they are telling me all about it while I'm helping them.

It never fails to melt my heart whenever a child reaches up to hold my hand. I don't even know if they are even conscious that they have reached up to hold my finger or when for some reason they get shy and they reach around to hold my leg and hide behind's so cute and so endearing.

There is this little boy whom we like to say that he has an ear fetish, because when you are sitting with the group of them reading them a story, he likes to sit/stand next to you and play with your ear while his sucks his thumb on his other hand. It makes me laugh...but that's "my" lil boy!

All of them love to play with my hair...and I tell them as long as they don't pull it, I don't mind. I know that I have long hair and sometimes when I am patting their backs as they are taking their nap, as they drift off into la-la land they like to run their fingers in my hair...

I love watching them paint, draw, glue, write, put a puzzle together. I love watching their tiny hands play with the blocks and cars and lacing boards. When I read them touchy-feelie books, it's fun watching them feel the page, or when they point out something on the page, or when "help" me turn the page.

Yes, I think that tiny hands are amazing...and one day those tiny hands will be "big" hands contributing to the world, and my reward?! My reward is knowing that I helped them learn that "hands are for helping."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." -Louis Hector Berlioz

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

So, I have to get ready for work in five minutes, but I wanted to say something [one, because I haven't written anything in forever and two, because it was whoa...trippy?! a way]. I know I dream ALL the time; I know it. And I know that this is going to sound weird, coz it sounds weird to me, but there are times where I am dreaming and even though it's cryptic or something, in a way I can understand it and kind of decipher what it could mean...then something happens in my life and it makes me wonder; whoa, was my dream some weird foreshadowing of what was to come?!

It mostly happens when I wake up from a dream having this weird feeling...most of the time I only remember parts of it that...and the parts that make me have the weird feeling is very vague, but I do remember the gist of it. Other times, I remember in perfect detail what happened, how I was feeling, and these dreams I am usually viewing as if I was someone else looking in...but it's of me. Makes sense?! Kind of?! Sort of?! Not really?! It's hard to explain.

I woke up with another one of those dreams. Like this premonition of something that's going to happen, going to come in my life, going to...something! It's not a bad thing, more like it puzzles me, like really?! What?! Uhm...that would be out of left field! type of thing.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."-Dr. Seuss

Friday, March 18, 2011



Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long


Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday, someday

But now
I know you can't tell
I'm down, and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye


Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I MISS them.

The other day I was talking to my niece back in California. She was taking the death of our mutual friend kind of hard because she would go riding with her dad and he and Cam use to go riding together. So I was talking to her, making sure she was going to be okay. Oh, how I miss my little ones so much! But we started talking about everything else under the sun and every so often her lil sister would run in to her room and say "I want to talk to Aunty too!!" Which would annoy the older one to no bounds! [They are about 6 years apart.] Well, I talked to the older one for a few hours before I had to go. It was way past her bedtime.

But before I got off the phone, I could hear the little one come in the room and say, "Now is it my turn?" so I told the older one to give the younger one the phone to talk to her too. I love her just as much, and I miss her so much too. And this younger one reminds me so much of how I was when I was younger...non-stop talking! Part of our conversation [with the younger one] went like this:

LayLay: Aunty what is your favorite cartoon?
Me: The Little Mermaid
LL: What?! Me too!! Who do you like the best?
M: Flounder
LL: Oh Aunty, guess what? I have Ariel, Flounder and Sebastian floating in my bathtub!
M: No way!? Really?
LL: I'm Ariel
M: I'm Flounder
LL: Aunty I thought you liked flowers.
M: What?! Yeah, I do...
M: LayLay?
M:LayLay?! Are you there?! I'm going to hang up the phone.
[waits 20 seconds]
LL: Aunty! Are you still there?
M: Where'd you go?
LL: Aunty, I'm sitting down!
M: Yeah, but you disappeared on the phone
LL: What? When?
M: Just right now?
LL: Oh that time! My hand got tired holding the phone so I put it down for a little bit.

I love her. I really love her!

I miss them SO much....

Christmas 2009
 Christmas 2009

We talked for a few more minutes and my heart twisted just a little bit when it was time to hang up the phone. I miss them so much and I know that time never stops. I wish I could be there physically for them...I miss them so much.

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Jaeson Ma -Love (feat. Bruno Mars)
Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is.
But I'm a tell you what true love is.
Love is not what you see in the movies.
Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene
You know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice.
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself
Love is not selfish. Love is God and God is love.
Love is when you lay down your life for another
 Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or you sister
Its even laying down you life for your enemies,
That's unthinkable, but think about that
Love is true

I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I"ll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love.

Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast
It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
You see love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres
Love never fails. Love is everlasting
Its eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time
Love is the only thing that will last when you die
But ask the question why? Do you have love?

I"ll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends
Now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends?
You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother
Your father, or your best friends
But are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?
I'm going to tell you who did that
The definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love
The nails in his hands, the thorns on his brow
Hanging on a cross for you sins my sins
That is love he died for you and me while we still hated him.
That is love
God is true love, and if you don't know this love
Now is the time to know, perfect love

I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I"ll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love


Trust is a very fragile thing. But in a very twisted way it is also one so the strongest thing that can be between two variables. Take for example, a chair. You sit on the chair trusting that it will hold you. Then one day the chair breaks when you sit on it and that trust is broken. Because every time you have to sit on that chair, even though you fixed it, you will test it first to make sure that it won't give when you sit on it until that day comes when/if you trust that chair will stand firm when you sit on it.

At a very early age, I think that trust is one the first things a child learns. Trust. I mean, a child has to trust that his/her parent/s will take care of him/her because s/he is physically and mentally unable to. Fast forward to preschool, it's really hard on both parents and child when the child is ready to start preschool. And the first few days [hopefully NOT weeks!!] is really hard because the child cries for their parents. But then the day comes when the child trust that their parents/guardian WILL come pick them up at the end of the day and will not abandon them.

It's really sad because I have this little boy, the cutest little tyke ever, who is really good; he helps out in class, really nice, polite...and rarely, if ever, cries...but one day his guardian was super late to pick him up. He watched as one by one his friends were picked up, then his teachers left [NOT by himself of course!! We gather all the age groups together at the end of the day, and us teachers leave one by one as the children leave so all 15 teachers aren't there to watch 3 children]. He was the last one left with the last two teachers...and by then he was in tears and nothing would calm him down then grandma came running up the sidewalk saying sorry, she wasn't paying attention to the time.

This happened three weeks ago.

And to this day, he starts getting panic looks on his face when it's time to go home, because he's worried no one is going to pick him up. It has come to the point were I don't even leave when it's my turn to leave and he's still there, because when I leave its the last straw that will wring his sad tears from his eyes. I'm his teacher and it's just so heartbreaking to watch him cry silently to himself while looking out into the parking lot willing for his mom or dad or grandma to come pick him up. I do have to say that when someone does come to pick up him, he is the most excited little boy on the playground!

Trust. A very fragile, yet strong thing.

"It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it."