Monday, October 30, 2006 here i am, sitting outside...and there are misquitoes buzzing all around me...i'm here with my sweater on...but i'm in basketball my poor lets are being eaten alive. i'm talking to my friend whom i havent' talked to in a long time...dispite the fact my housemaids wants me to come inside to eat with them, kasi it's dinner time.

I'm also on, kasi i miss my home, and my family so much. It was my daddy's birthday yesterday...and i know that today is harry's birthday...and so on the off chance that he ever reads this..."happy birthday harry!" know, i watch this one movie, and in it...there was this young girl who was dying...and this other girl asked the girl if she was scared of death..this dying girl was like 12 years old...and she said something that made me think. She said that she was not scared of dying...she was scared of what she was gonna miss out on when she was gone.

I think that's sorta the same with me. i'm not scared of death...i'm juss scared of what i'm gonna miss out when i'm gone. But you know its sorta like that now. i feel like i'm dead to everyone at home. and the worst part is, at times i hear what IS going on, and what i AM missing out on. so i guess that's the worst part of being away from home. it's like your dead to your home, but you still hear news of what your missing out. whereas, when your don't really find out what your missing until you go to heaven and find out.
true...i'm having so much fun here! i sang at this awesome mall place...i'm making new friends, i'm doing what my parents want me to be doing, i'm going out and helping those who aren't as well off as i am, i'm doing things that i know that i can be proud of, but i miss him. i know that i'm missing out on so many things. i'm missing out on my baby neices growing up...i'm missing out on weddings, on parties, on birthdays, on holidays. all the sports games all the things that i know that all of you guys are doing and having fun....i'm not even allowed to go out and trick-or-treat! but i'm not complaining...i'm juss sad. so sad. i miss it at home. but you know...what is worst? i know that when i'm at home, i miss it here. i miss it here so much...i wish that i were rich enough to have my own plane to fly back and forth whenever i want.

eww..i think the cat took a SH! smells like SH!T!!! the way...the cats here are different know how at home they dig a hole and shit in it, then bury it? well, over here, they don't. they juss shit wherever they feel like it. sometimes right outside my room window...and i literally cry from the's terrible! but lucky roomates have a really good sense of if they say they smell something bad...i hold my breath...cover my nose...or something...and if i'm lucky it will pass...:)

oh my goodness! there was this time where me and eddie and our other friend john..who is also a balikbayan, were in this class called asain civilization....and we were talking, then all of a sudden this really bad smell came to were sitting by the window. john was falling asleep, and he even woke was funny...then the wind would blow it away, and me and eddie could breath again, and then it would come again...oh, its not as funny if you weren't there...but if you were there...oh gosh!

i have a lot more stories to tell you, but i need to go for now since my roomie wants to go online...and i like to peace out yo' i love you all and please know that i miss you...

(TAMARA!!! where are you!!!?!)

[Transferred from my myspace blog]

Monday, October 16, 2006


So finally i got internet connection on my laptop, but it's not the fastest thing in the world...but who am i to complain...:) it's semester break...which means i have no school...but it's more less the much business here!

i don't really know what to write, only that i wanted to write. :) jejeje...i'm so wierd...oh well...oh did you know that i learned how to say weird in tagalog?! kakaiba...i'm know it's not the literal's more like "different for others" or something like that...but thats the closest...if you wanted to know...

this is so short...but i guess i'll write more later...oh me a favor all my many many friends :) WRITE EDDIE...he's sad...but SHHHH!!! i didn't say that! :) jejejej...juss surprise him :)

[Transferred from my myspace blog]

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Hello my friends.

Typhoon storms are SO scary! On the 28th of September, AUP and the surrounding towns were unfortunately hit by a typhoon storm! And let me tell you, that was something SCARY! That I really hope that I'll have to go through again! Okay, I was eating the night before and on the news they said that there was gonna be "bagio" (storm) and that we should stay indoors. And I'm like whatever! I've been through storms in the Philippinesalready, but my gosh! This was a storm like none other! No joke! They said the last time they had a storm this bad was 12 years ago! But worst, and I'm thinking WORST! And I thought that this one was BAD! Anyways, my housemaids had closed and locked all the windows in the house and I was like, what?! It's so hot! We need the windows open, but we (my room mates and I) left them close, and it was a good thing, because I woke up that Wednesday night and I started to hyperventilate because it was PITCH BLACK! At first I was like, is my eyes still closed?! It was SO dark….and then that's when I flipped! It was dark because the storm was happening and already the winds were 150 km/hour and they already knocked down the electricity poles….so there was no light. My room mates woke up, and they juss talked to me to breath and stuff, and then I calmed down…I had the light of my cell phone and I had a flashlight. I sleep next to a window and so does my other room mate Jyn…and the window's kept flying open and we kept getting wet, and the wind was really blowing and things were flying…we had to tie the windows down. Finally late the next day the storm passed by…and when Joy and I walked outside, it was SO sad!!!! Tree's had fallen down, poles where down, fences were gone…the CONCRETE BRIDGE here on campus was half gone…the signs that were up before were now down. Then I went outside of AUP, and I juss wanted to CRY! All the small stores and houses all along outside of AUP were GONE! The tree's were thrown all over the places, there were vehicles that were halfway down in mud…the river was high, there were children's bodies, there were animal bodies, there were the billboards that looked like they were grinded up and thrown randomly around the place…it was SO depressing! The electricity was down for a week, but there is still places that don't have electricity. What really sucked was that we have finals, and we didn't have electricity at all, and since they don't honor day light savings time, it gets dark at 5:pm…no kidding…and it gets DARK because there is NO LIGHT ANYWHERE! And after the storm it was HOT, but we couldn't turn on the fans.

Oh! You wanna know something sweet that my roomie JynJyn did for me. Okay, well, since there was no power, the first night I said that I was gonna go to sleep early, since there was a candle, and I said I wanted to sleep before the candle dies. Well, so I fall asleep, but I woke up when the candle died…for those of you who know me, I'm an EXTREMELY light sleeper, and for some reason I know when my light has been turned off, so when the candle died, I freaked out again, but this time I juss kept my eyes closed and told myself that blah, blah, blah…anyways, I heard noise again and I got scared but then I realized that my roomie JynJyn had also woken up because she set her alarm to wake her up…so that she can light another candle! So everytime the candle died she got up to light another. In the morning she told me that she set her alarm at 3 hour intervals to wake her up so that she can see if the candle was dead or still going. She said that she didn't want me to wake up to darkness…I LOVE my room mates. The next day we bought a HUMUNGOUS candle that lasted the rest of the week and we didn't have to get up to light it anymore. But damn…you all need to meet JynJyn…she is awesome…same with Joy, her sister…my friend and my other roomie. J

Anyways, we have our electricity now…thank goodness! And it's super hot, but that's okay. I'm here with Eddie right now at the internet shop getting information about a research project that we both have to do. But first I wanted to post up another blog since I haven't written in the blog thingy in a while. But yeah.

Did you all remember that I was my brother's birthday? And Chris's birthday too?! Well, I don't know if they read my blogs, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU TWO! Okay, BELATED…but know that I'm thinking about you two. I called my brother on his birthday, and I know that he went to my sister's house for his birthday, I'm so sad, I so wish that I could have gone with him. I want to see my sister and brother again. I miss them SO much…so would you all do me a favor, if any of you see them, give them a hug for me. Thanks…I really do miss them a lot. Mandope…I wanna go boating again!

Well, since it's finals, that means this semester is almost done…actually it practically is…we juss need to take our finals. Can you imagine that?! I only have one more semester, and then I'm going home! I can't wait! Hm…lets see…I think my plan is that I'm gonna be going home in March…I think I know the date…but for now, I'm gonna keep that a secret. I know that I wanna be home for Manang Val's wedding…so I think I'll be there until the first week of June. Maybe I'll celebrate an early birthday since my birthday here makes me depressed! But yeah, I really can't believe that the first semester is practically done. This school year has really gone by SO fast! But then again, this year is so much more funner then the first time that I came here…not that the first time was terrible, it juss wanted as fun.

Anyways, we're gonna have a 2 ½ week sembreak. I"ll be doing a week of prayer at a highschool somewhere with my CRT group. I think that's gonna be a lot of fun. Then the rest of the week, I'm gonna relax and take it easy…maybe I'll go to the beach and juss have fun. I REALLy want to play football and volleyball. Maybe that's what I'll do. I really miss that.

Oh!!! You know that second biggest mall in the world and the biggest mall in Asia is here in the Philippines! Guess what?! This group asked me to be a guest singer in their concert! But they want me to sing this half Japanese half English song…so I had to learn a new song, but my goodness…I'm so scared! But when I asked the guy who asked me to sing how he heard me sing, he said that he asked a few of his friends if they know anyone who can sing and they recommended me! And then he heard me sing. But then you know when I came here to the Philippines, I already told myself that I didn't want to sing for an audience. There is this thing that I'm a part of and it's called the Jesus Project. And for one program we did a girls band thingy…and I was the lead singer. I told them that I would rather play the piano, but they got me to sing instead, and then that is how the guy heard me sing. I'm pretty excited, but I'm really scared, but not trying to think how scared I am. I remember when I was younger my dream was to be a star singer…but that was all in the past, if this happened to me when I was younger, I would be so psyched…but it didn't, it's happening NOW! But hey…it's going to be an experience. And I'm excited. I wish you all were there though…*sigh* oh well….

I know that I mentioned this before, but I'm taking up the guitar. I'm slowly learning…I think I sound okay now. But my CRT group wants me to play in FRONT OF PEOPLE! My gosh, I think I'm traumatized too! And "you" know why! Jejeje…good times…naw…it's kasi I use to play guitar when I was younger…well sorta…and then I played in front of my friends and they laughed…but all in fun, in fun…jejeje…so I'm juss jowking…but do you remember that (Es, Leah?!?! Jejejejeje…..) At least my fingers aren't hurting anymore. But I'm still wanting to grow my nails out. But that is a "no-no"…you know. J

You know people are always asking me, "Which one are you scared of the most? Cockroach or spider…?!" how am I suppose to answer that question! Okay…Jem, you remember I use to go out "exploring" with Baili Dru outside and collect spiders and bugs and spider eggs…and "roly-poly" soup?! So I'm really not scared of bugs…but then I come here and then BAM their bugs here are like on steroids or something! Their huge! And did you know that cockroaches FLY! Juss the other day I walked out of my room and there right above our door was this spider bigger than my hand…and these mama's are not those little daddy long legged babies…but they are thick, hairy, brown and         U-G-L-Y!! But this spider wasn't alone, nope it wasn't it had it's egg nest with it! And it wasn't small either…it's was nearly as big as it's mama! My gosh…im swear if that thing comes in the room, I juss might juss go home! My goodness…try taking a bath with one of those in the bathroom!!! It's juss like living your worst nightmare! They are SO scary! I'm so not joking! You juss ask Eddie! He has some stories to tell you about them big uglies! Oh…I was trying to explain to my roomie about Roly-polies…those cute little bugs that curl up on a ball and roll around if you touch it…jejeje…J

"Sometimes you have to put walls up around you…not to keep people out…but to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with you…."

"Find a person who wants to kiss your lips everyday, who lifts and hugs you when your jealous, who patiently keeps silent when your mad, who fixes your hair just to see your face and the one who wants to have lunch with you with his family…the one who shares his drinks with you, who squeezes your hand together when you squeeze his and the one who wants to cut work just to have a date with you. Find someone who plans and imagines his future with you seven years from now (I don't know about that one!!!) and when you find him, never let him go…"

"Time alone can prove the worth of a person, as time goes by we lose the false ones and keep the best! Because true people stay when all the rest are gone!"

"Love is running to someone's arms, colliding with someone's heart and exploding into someone's soul."

"I could be a PAPER, you can write your filings, scribble your anger, use me to absorb your tears, but don't throw me after use, because when you feel cold, I'll burn myself to warm you."

"Do you know why there are people who had a bad experience in love, but shows like nothing happened? They never show you they cry, simply because there are tears in the heart that never reaches the eyes…"

"The face can speak of a thousand emotions, but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don't be fooled, for the 'happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart.'"

"Don't waste your time regretting all your wrongs. Know that in the end, you'll get what your heart longs. Try not to risk it all, don't stumble, don't fall. Hold your head high, don't be afraid to say 'goodbye'. Stay true and be you. Do everything there is to do. Live life to the fullest and never look back. There is a reason for the future and a reason for the past. Love til it hurts, laugh til u cry and when your life flashes before you die, be happy for what you've done, be happy for what you've overcome and most of all be proud of what you had become."

"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."

"When God leads you to the edge of a cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Coz only one of two things will happen: either He will catch you when you fall or He will teach you how to fly."

There, juss wanted to share with you some of the text forwards that I get on a daily basis…I'm so swear, there are people here that has NEVER TALKED on their phone…juss always texting texting naman!!! J Some are cute like those ones…but there are some texts that are like "WHAT THE HECK!?!" oh well…that's life here in the Philippines

Well, I miss you all…but I need to go and finish my research now! Thanx for all the letters and e-mails…I love you all!!

('Rara..I hope that you're having fun!!!)

[Transferred from my myspace blog]