Friday, October 28, 2005

Hello World!

Okay...im ready to leave na...i need to get out again! i will... as soon as i finish school, i'm gonna get myself out of here...i need to...i wanna travel..there is still so many places that i wanna go...people to see and things to do...and i need to start on it NOW! sucks that dont have the money yet...i wonder...if i had the money..i think i would go do it all...i dont' even know what i'm talking about...all i'm thinking right now is that i haven't been writing here in a long while...and it's about time...but then...yeah...i think i'm ready to say hello to the world na....


[Transferred from my myspace blog]

Friday, October 14, 2005

...around a week.


it's been around a week since i last saw my good friends of AUP/AMBA. I really do love to travel, i really do love meeting new people, making new friends, making new memories, having fun, getting close to people, jowking with people...but in the end...i juss end up hurt...not in the way that a guy would hurt me when he leaves me or juss plain does something to hurt me, but in the fact that...their gone, and so now there is this empty space in my heart that can't be replaced by making new friends, and stuff.

i have always thought that GUYS are the ones that can make holes (or take your WHOLE heart) in your heart, but that's not true, i know i'm dumb. But yeah...at least i finally realized that. It's the people that come into your life. Everyone of them. For those of you who know me...all my feelings are connected to my heart...as you have heard me say, "awww, you hurt my heart!" "Ay! my heart is happy!" " I dont' think my heart can take it." Kasi i guess to me, that is the place where i associate my feelings and emotions.

Right now, my heart is sad. I remember telling a friend of mine that when i went to the philippines, i didn't want to get close with anyone there, that when i had to leave, my heart will die. (jejeje...my heart AGAIN!) but then, i guess that juss isn't me. Where ever i go, i make friends, i get close to them, and when it's time to say goodbye...im broken up. I really REALLy extremely HATE goodbyes.

I guess i'm that type of girl, that unwillingly lives in her memories, yet, i love to make new ones. hm...does that even make any sense?! I always think back to the time when yadda yadda happened, and then i get sad...because i know that it can't happen. But then, i'm looking forward to what is gonna happen next...by my heart hurts because, i left that one person behind, but my heart is excited, because i get to experience something else.

Maybe THATs why i love to travel, i get to experience something new, meet new people, make new memories, and it's stronger than the fact that i KNOW that i'm gonna be broken up when i leave them. Damn...i am SUCH a confusing person, i know. but then, one day it'll be sorted out.

I guess what i'm really trying to say is...i miss my friends. Every single one of you. All of you whom i met since i could breath. The ones i still talk too. The ones that i juss met. The ones that i haven't spoken to in years. The ones that i lost contact with. All of you. I miss you all.

[Transferred from my myspace blog]

Monday, October 10, 2005

wow...a new week!


Oh okay...i know that it's not really a new week...yesterday was really the start of the new week...but then...it was like my week of last week, ended today...WOW, did that even make any sense at all?!

I think last week, i expereience all sorts of emotions...i mean like very powerful emotions...my friends from AUP came here...well, the AMBA was here since July 15, but then, they finally came up to Northern CA, and i got to see them here. I really missed my friends that were in there...and i got to "kidnap" two of them twice. I miss them so much already...

I'm such a sucker at goodbyes...when i left America to go to the Philippines, i cried....when i left the philippines to go to thailand, i cried...when i left thailand to go to Philippines, i cried, when i left philippines go to america, i cried....it's so heart breaking to say bye to those you love. and since i love everyone, it's so hard to say goodbye! But at least this time, i held my tears in before they could see it...i couldn't cry so they could see me...they already had all their make up on, and if they started to cry...then....their makeup would get messed up, and so yeah. I took pictures with them...so that was good...
I actually took pictures with those two AMBA friends and then with my brother, sister and me...i love taking pictures...wow...and to think i use to be camera shy.

Well, i have been going up to PUC a lot this week...but i don't know when i'll be up there again. I went there last wednesday to see my AMBA friends perform, and then on Saturday for my brother's birthday, and then yesterday to see the volleyball game, which was a really good game. But then i still love it up there...i sorta wanna go back...but not really...wow...so much memories up there...fun stuff.
My sister came home this weekend...so it was good to see her. To hang out and stuff...i miss my sister...my dad juss took her to the Sacramento Airport so that she could fly back home. I know that i'm gonna miss her again...but she'll be back for my dad's birthday which is at the end of this month.

Oh! When i went up to PUC Saturday, i ended up going to their movie drive in...and that was fun, but it was so cold! Me and my friend were suppose to dress up like that 80's but it was SO cold...TOO cold for the outfits that we wanted to wear...and we did our make up and hair, and then we ended up walking all over the place to find where my brother and other friends were, but then they were already at the place, so we ended up walking. But it was fun...but FREEZING cold...i like the warmer weather.

Like i said before, i think i'm ready to travel again...hopefully i'll join the Acapellove sooner or later...i really want too, and me and my friends have been talking about it since before school has started, but then, i juss can't get my courage up to talk to the director! I mean, i'm not scared of him or anything, juss...yeah...it's weird...but i know that the is super nice and stuff...and he has been wanting me to join since even with i was in highschool, and since they will be going to Austrailia and New Zealand and then the Philippines, then i really wanna join...okay...fine...when ever the one friends talks to him, i'll tell her that i'll tlak to him too...but yeah...i love to travel.

I really wanna go back to Thailand and eat their victory monument noodles and lotte stuff...wow, my mouth is drooling juss thinking of it! I miss it there and my friends there a lot. Wow, i miss a lot of people...but then...i guess i'll always be missing a lot of people all through my life...but then yeah...one day i'll see them again, i juss know it.

Well, i best be going na...this is a pretty boring blog...but i jsus realized that i haven't written in here in a long time, and so i juss figured and so yeah....well, yeah...bye!

[Transferred from my myspace blog]