Hello World!

Okay...im ready to leave na...i need to get out again! i will... as soon as i finish school, i'm gonna get myself out of here...i need to...i wanna travel..there is still so many places that i wanna go...people to see and things to do...and i need to start on it NOW! sucks that dont have the money yet...i wonder...if i had the money..i think i would go do it all...i dont' even know what i'm talking about...all i'm thinking right now is that i haven't been writing here in a long while...and it's about time...but then...yeah...i think i'm ready to say hello to the world na....


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...around a week.

it's been around a week since i last saw my good friends of AUP/AMBA. I really do love to travel, i really do love meeting new people, making new friends, making new memories, having fun, getting close to people, jowking with people...but in the end...i juss end up hurt...not in the way that a guy would hurt me when he leaves me or juss plain does something to hurt me, but in the fact that...their gone, and so now there is this empty space in my heart that can't be replaced by making new friends, and stuff.

i have always thought that GUYS are the ones that can make holes (or take your WHOLE heart) in your heart, but that's not true, i know i'm dumb. But yeah...at least i finally realized that. It's the people that come into your life. Everyone of them. For those of you who know me...all my feelings are connected to my heart...as you have heard me say, "awww, you hurt my heart!" "Ay! my heart is happy!" " I dont' think my heart can take it." Kasi i guess to me, that is the place where i associate my feelings and emotions.

Right now, my heart is sad. I remember telling a friend of mine that when i went to the philippines, i didn't want to get close with anyone there, that when i had to leave, my heart will die. (jejeje...my heart AGAIN!) but then, i guess that juss isn't me. Where ever i go, i make friends, i get close to them, and when it's time to say goodbye...im broken up. I really REALLy extremely HATE goodbyes.

I guess i'm that type of girl, that unwillingly lives in her memories, yet, i love to make new ones. hm...does that even make any sense?! I always think back to the time when yadda yadda happened, and then i get sad...because i know that it can't happen. But then, i'm looking forward to what is gonna happen next...by my heart hurts because, i left that one person behind, but my heart is excited, because i get to experience something else.

Maybe THATs why i love to travel, i get to experience something new, meet new people, make new memories, and it's stronger than the fact that i KNOW that i'm gonna be broken up when i leave them. Damn...i am SUCH a confusing person, i know. but then, one day it'll be sorted out.

I guess what i'm really trying to say is...i miss my friends. Every single one of you. All of you whom i met since i could breath. The ones i still talk too. The ones that i juss met. The ones that i haven't spoken to in years. The ones that i lost contact with. All of you. I miss you all.

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wow...a new week!

Oh okay...i know that it's not really a new week...yesterday was really the start of the new week...but then...it was like my week of last week, ended today...WOW, did that even make any sense at all?!

I think last week, i expereience all sorts of emotions...i mean like very powerful emotions...my friends from AUP came here...well, the AMBA was here since July 15, but then, they finally came up to Northern CA, and i got to see them here. I really missed my friends that were in there...and i got to "kidnap" two of them twice. I miss them so much already...

I'm such a sucker at goodbyes...when i left America to go to the Philippines, i cried....when i left the philippines to go to thailand, i cried...when i left thailand to go to Philippines, i cried, when i left philippines go to america, i cried....it's so heart breaking to say bye to those you love. and since i love everyone, it's so hard to say goodbye! But at least this time, i held my tears in before they could see it...i couldn't cry so they could see me...they already had all their make up on, and if they started to cry...then....their makeup would get messed up, and so yeah. I took pictures with them...so that was good...

I actually took pictures with those two AMBA friends and then with my brother, sister and me...i love taking pictures...wow...and to think i use to be camera shy.

Well, i have been going up to PUC a lot this week...but i don't know when i'll be up there again. I went there last wednesday to see my AMBA friends perform, and then on Saturday for my brother's birthday, and then yesterday to see the volleyball game, which was a really good game. But then i still love it up there...i sorta wanna go back...but not really...wow...so much memories up there...fun stuff.

My sister came home this weekend...so it was good to see her. To hang out and stuff...i miss my sister...my dad juss took her to the Sacramento Airport so that she could fly back home. I know that i'm gonna miss her again...but she'll be back for my dad's birthday which is at the end of this month.

Oh! When i went up to PUC Saturday, i ended up going to their movie drive in...and that was fun, but it was so cold! Me and my friend were suppose to dress up like that 80's but it was SO cold...TOO cold for the outfits that we wanted to wear...and we did our make up and hair, and then we ended up walking all over the place to find where my brother and other friends were, but then they were already at the place, so we ended up walking. But it was fun...but FREEZING cold...i like the warmer weather.

Like i said before, i think i'm ready to travel again...hopefully i'll join the Acapellove sooner or later...i really want too, and me and my friends have been talking about it since before school has started, but then, i juss can't get my courage up to talk to the director! I mean, i'm not scared of him or anything, juss...yeah...it's weird...but i know that the is super nice and stuff...and he has been wanting me to join since even with i was in highschool, and since they will be going to Austrailia and New Zealand and then the Philippines, then i really wanna join...okay...fine...when ever the one friends talks to him, i'll tell her that i'll tlak to him too...but yeah...i love to travel.

I really wanna go back to Thailand and eat their victory monument noodles and lotte stuff...wow, my mouth is drooling juss thinking of it! I miss it there and my friends there a lot. Wow, i miss a lot of people...but then...i guess i'll always be missing a lot of people all through my life...but then yeah...one day i'll see them again, i juss know it.

Well, i best be going na...this is a pretty boring blog...but i jsus realized that i haven't written in here in a long time, and so i juss figured and so yeah....well, yeah...bye!

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hey yo'!

Hey...it's been awhile since i really wrote one here, huh? okay, well, not REALLY long time ago, but some time ago. But yeah...well, my week has been pretty slow...did some stuff and got through with it. Good...iono what is wrong with my DOOR! My brother juss came in here to get something, and it's like my door IS GROWING! Well, i told my sister's boyfriend about it before...kasi there was this one time where it coudn't even close! And he said that because of the weather, the wood on my door keeps on expanding and then de-expanding, if that is possible, depending how cold or how hot it gets. It got to that point where my dad sandpapered my door juss so that it could close without any struggle, but now it's acting up again, maybe because it's getting hot again.

What is it with this weather?! I love it being hot, i really do, but then, it's hot then it get FREEZING cold, and i'm not a fan of the cold weather all that much. but then, i'm not complaining about this wonderful weather as for now.

Well, last week, two of my classes got canceled, and i was sorta ticked that i didn't get a phone call and stuff...LONG story...well, i guess i can tell the shortened version of it. I like to tutor foreign students who have a hard time in class....and in my Music for ECE class i'm tutoring this one lady that has a hard time speaking and sorat understanding English, she speaks Arabic...so cool! well, we were suppose to have a test on tuesday, and our class is at 2:pm, and she asked me to come at 10:30 in the morning so that i can help her in her last minute study...she studied everything already, juss wanted me to go over with her AGAIN! But it's all good, that is why i'm there. But then she calls at 12:pm and tells me that she is sorry, she had another class, and forgot to tell me. And so I ask her if she is gonna come now...and she said yeah, so i waited and at 1:pm she said that she changed her mind! and since i was a nice girl, i juss swollewed my anger and said  okay, and since it was only one more hour until my class i stayed there. 2:pm rolled around and i went to class only to find a notice posted up saying that we didn't have class that day! OH MY GOODNESS! i have to admit that i was sorta mad...but oh okay...that's okay, it's life. Sorta almost same thing happened last Thursday. Oh well...

Well, today, thursday again, i go to class...class starts at 6:pm, right? Well, i go to class, and wait, it's only 4 of us there...and then the teacher calls and says that she is on her way, but she had gotten a flat tire, so we waited...the teacher didn't come until 7:30! originally i would have been upset for waiting that long, but i had a lot of fun conversations with my classmates, and the teacher, she is really cool, and i think she is one of the best teachers that i have ever had! She is awesome, and it wasn't her fault that she had a flat tire, and then there was hella traffic...so i feel bad for her.

So what had happened was i signed up for this class, Intro to ECE, and then this teacher other than the teacher that it said was suppose to be our teacher came and said that the teacher that was suppose to be teaching our class was having complications with her pregnancey, or something like that, and so the school had to find someone who could teach the class, and this teacher we have now is really cool. But she lives 2 hours away from the school, and it's the only class that she would be teaching in SCC. So she has some crazy commute. She accepted the job, kasi she is cool like that, and she knew that we really needed a teacher. I love her, she's a great teacher. Damn though! TWO HOURS! yeah, she's cool.

I got to talk to my sister. She is up at PUC na. She is there with her boyfriend...can everyone say "AWWWWWW" jejeje...yeah, that's cute. But yeah, i hope that i could see her. I might go up there tommarow, MIGHT. i'm not sure yet. I miss her a lot. But i know that she is also gonna be coming up next week for my brother's birthday, so that's good. It's crazy how much i miss her...but i do.

I also got to talk to my insan. I love her baby so much! She is so tiny! but i know that she will grow...damn..she is adorable!

well, i guess i gosta go na!

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89 questions.

01.Your name --- Charity
02. Hobbies --- so much to name! but anything that i concider fun...which leads to another question, what do you concider fun? but that's the not questions here. :)
03. Gender --- female
04. School ---yep, i go to school...SCC
05. Height --- four feet eleven inches
06. Zodiac sign ---gemini twins
08. Address --- Fairfield, CA
09. Email add --- princesspinay@hotmail.com
10. Hair length --- hm...never really measured it...but it's long.
11. Eye colour --- dark chocolate
12. Hair colour --- dark brown
13. Left handed/ right handed --- right
14. status --- single and LOVING IT!
15. Siblings --- dalawa lang, isang ate at isang ading
16. Last 4 digit of your mobile no --- don't have one
When's your Birthday --- june 17

*Have you...*
21. Tried smoking --- nope
22. Drink alcohol --- long time ago
23. Been hurt emotionally --- who hasn't!?
24. Kept a secret from someone --- yep
25. Been on stage --- yep
*Favourites*
26. Colors --- pink, silver, black
27. Food --- asain food
28. O?--- do you mean the big O? haha
29. Number --- #14
30. Cartoons --- hm..don't reallly have one
31. TV shows --- hm...
32. Movie --- The Little Mermaid

*Right now*
36. Wearing --- pjs
37. Hairstyle --- super straight and long
38. Looking --- at what i'm typing on the screen
39. Thinking -- many thoughts
40. Listening --- "Heaven" by DJ Sammy

*Do you believe in...*
41. Love --- it's out there...
42. Fate --- i believe that God has things in store for
you... but in the end, you still call the shots
43. Yourself --- yes
44. Ghosts --- evil has many forms
45. Angels --- yes
46. Worn jeans --- yep...so comfy
47. Cleaned your room --- jeje...yeah...so why is it looking a mess AGAIN!
48. cried --- not in a while
49. met someone new --- not today, but yeah...doesn't everyone?!
50. Last person I talk to on the phone -- Presmaire
51. Do you believe you can fall in love/can you love
the person you disliked most? --- i guess gradually you can fall in love with someone, as for loving the person you dislike that most...hm...well...iono if this answer's the question, but the person that i dislike that most, i use to love him so much. and i guess i always will.
52. Have a secret admirer --- jejeje.....
53. Do you wanna get married --- not in MY plans...but iono that plans that God has for me.
54. Do you plan on having kids --- i plan on working with kids, whom i know i will see them as my own :)
55. How old you wanna be when you get married --- it's not in MY plans to get married, but whatever plans that God has for me...i don't know what age He plans on getting me married. :)
56. How old you wanna be when you have your
baby --- hm...
57. How many kids do you want --- IF i do have kids, and i say IF...i want one set of twins and another child, so that makes three
58. Would you have kids before marriage--- hm...
59. Do you have a Crush --- im swear! NOPE
60. What do you want most in a relationship --- honesty
61. Pink or Black --- both are my favorite colors, but pink
62. Kiss or hug --- both
63. Summer or winter --- summer
64. Sunny or rainy --- sunny
65. Chocolate or vanilla --- chocolate
66. Hanging out or chillin --- difference?
67. Music or TV --- MUSIC
68. Hamburger or Pizza --- either of the 2
69. Smile or Laughing --- both
70. Sleeping or eating --- sleeping....:)
71. Mc Donald's or KFC --- KFC
72. Silver or gold --- silver
73. Sunset or sunrise -- both
74. On phone or in person --- as much as i can, in person, but if that's not posible, i guess the phone will have to do.
75. Diamonds or Pearls --- diamonds, but i like pearls as well.
76. Adidas or puma --- adidas
77. Band members or models --- huh?
78. Local or international Artist --- whatever
79. sneakers or boots --- sneakers
80. Jack daniels or Chivas Regal --- hm....
81. Dunhill or Malboro --- i wouldn't know....
82. clubbing or live music --- clubbing with live music
83. Johnny depp or Brad Pitt --- hm.....
84. angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson --- hm....
85. colosal/epic or romantic comedy -- what is colosal/epic?!
86. sexy/naughty or kind/plain --- a bit of both
87. BMW or Mercedes --- hm...
88. incubus or maroon 5 --both are cool....
89. Montreal or Toronto -i dunno.. don't know much
about both places


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Five Random Quotes

1.  The face can speak of a thousand emotions, but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don't be fooled, for the "happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart."

So, I have learned that this can be true…speaking both from experience and from what I have observed. I guess this is one of the many reasons why I try my best not to judge anyone that I come across because I really don't know what they are trying to hide; I don't know their story. All I try my best to do is to except people for who they are without any judgment, so that people can know that I care, even if I may not know you, I care and so if ever someone needs to talk, I'm there. I know I talk a lot…*laughs* but I can listen as well.

2.  Always remember that the longer you stay with the things you don't really enjoy equates to every moment you lose with what could be a happy life…

Oh goodness, so I have learned this over and over and over again…for some reason, I seem to forget this lesson! *laughs* I mean, it's so true, why stick with something that you know will make you unhappy, if you know that without you can be so much more happier. Okay, so happiness is a choice…but what is also a choice are the things that you can choose that you enjoy. When I was a nursing student, oh I was happy, but I knew that I wasn't happy with being a nursing student. I did try I really, really did try to be happy and accept myself as a nurse, but I couldn't and now that I'm not a nursing student, I'm so much more happier. If I had listened to my gut instinct sooner, I wouldn't have had to go through the grief of being a nursing student (not that there is anything wrong with being a nursing student, it was just NOT for me.)

3.  If you don't know where you're going how do you expect to get there?

I like this one, because yeah…if you want to go somewhere, but you don't know where to go, how will you ever get there. Okay, so I know that there are times where I get so upset that I just want to start running and never stop running until I'm so tired that I can't be upset any longer…and where would I jog…well, anywhere that I can juss as long as I can get "there". *laughs*…but in life, I know that I want to succeed…but when I think about it, there are so many things that I want to succeed in, so I should have short goals to get where I want to be. I want to own a childcare facility. And I know how I'm going to go about to achieve that life dream….I have to know what I want to know how to get there, right?

4.  The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Oh how true is this!!! So life is all about risks…even choosing NOT to take a risk is a risk because no matter what you decide to do, that is the path you have decided to take in life. If you don't take any risks in life, what will you be able to say in the end? That you did nothing because you were to scared to try. And who knows, the thing that you were to scared to go for, prolly could have worked out for you….and if you never try, then you will never know. Yeah, I do believe there are situations where it might be TOO risky and dangerous to yourself…but there are simple things in life that are to life-threatening….like smiling and saying hi to someone you walk past…what's the worst that can happen?! That person can pull out a gun and shoot you for talking to them!...(oh goodness, lets hope that doesn't happen!) But think of the many good that it can do…you brighten up a persons day…and so forth…you know?

5.  Wisdom begins in wonder.

This is one of the reasons why I love children…they are ALWAYS wondering about things…they are always curious, and they are always learning new things. They still see things with new eyes…the things that we as adults see as "whatever"…a child sees it as an amazing thing…cloud shapes, a butterfly, an earthworm, the coldness of the ocean, running for the fun of it, taking a bath…I think as long as you are wondering and curious about something or how something works or about anything and you take that initiative to solve it, to find out more about it, to learn…you will always be moving forward in life. Or something like that. *laughs*

Weekend is here!

Well..it seems like this week has dragged on FOREVER! But in other ways it didn't. I'm glad that tommarow is Saturday...finally a day of no expectations and rest. Well...there are some expectations...but then...all in all...it's my day that God gave to me to fully relax and appreciate that i am alive to actually relax.

Well...i kinda sorta but not really redid my room. I wanna move more things around and stuff...but for now, i moved my computer desk...moved my laptop to my desk desk thing...and my bed. I'm comtemplating whether or not i should take down the beaded curtian that i put up in the middle of my room...most likely it is gonna stay there...i like it there...and it's different. I think my room looks a lot smaller than it really is...i have so much things! But i really didn't like how my computer and laptop was near my window where this is constant sunlight on them...i don't think that it hurts it...but i still didn't like that. So yeah.

I got to talk to my sister again today. She will be coming up again, soon. I miss her so much. I don't konw why, but we had to cut our talk short...but i can't wait to see her again. I know that i have so much to tell her! She is a great sister and i know that i'm so blessed to have a real sister like her. :)

I went to my lil sister's house today and had some more Laksa...that stuff is GOOD! It's like a malaysan dish or something...but i had something like that in Thailand...at the victory monument market...damn...i really miss that place a lot. Pero, ay naku! mashado maanghang naman! At least the one at my lil sisters house was! The one in thailand was perfect...but i could take it. I had mango juice. :)Anyways...there was this guy there that was like a massuse...HOWEVER you spell that word...and he was very good...jeje...now MELISSA! i hope you know how to massage hands good...i LOVE it when people massage my hands when i'm sitting down...and a full back massage is good as well. :)

I also got to talk to my bestest buddy. I felt bad kasi we agreed that i would call her at 10:pm...but then i couldn't seriously! My lil sister's family wanted to have a sundown worship thingy and i was forced into it...and it wasn't until 10:27pm that i could call. But i really miss her a lot. She is a great bestest buddy....She is a RA this year...and i know that she will do a good job at it too. She is a damn straight hard worker...but she makes time for her friends...you know who i'm talking about! I LOVE YOU! :)

Well...my lil sis will be sleeping over tommarow...kasi her mom's wedding reception will be on sunday...that's gonna be a lot of fun! Her wedding pics are AMAZING...! It makes me wanna go out and get my own wedding pics...oh yeah...me and this one guy agreed to take some together...that would be really cool if it really happened. :) Kinda tripy though. :) I really wanna be a wedding planner...dang...that would be the most funnest ever! i think that is one of the many things that i will be...but first and formost...an Early Childhood Education Teacher...kids...damn i LOVE them! :)

Well...gosta wake up early tomarrow! So goodnight and sweetdreams for now!

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