Friday, October 14, 2005

...around a week.


it's been around a week since i last saw my good friends of AUP/AMBA. I really do love to travel, i really do love meeting new people, making new friends, making new memories, having fun, getting close to people, jowking with people...but in the end...i juss end up hurt...not in the way that a guy would hurt me when he leaves me or juss plain does something to hurt me, but in the fact that...their gone, and so now there is this empty space in my heart that can't be replaced by making new friends, and stuff.

i have always thought that GUYS are the ones that can make holes (or take your WHOLE heart) in your heart, but that's not true, i know i'm dumb. But yeah...at least i finally realized that. It's the people that come into your life. Everyone of them. For those of you who know me...all my feelings are connected to my heart...as you have heard me say, "awww, you hurt my heart!" "Ay! my heart is happy!" " I dont' think my heart can take it." Kasi i guess to me, that is the place where i associate my feelings and emotions.

Right now, my heart is sad. I remember telling a friend of mine that when i went to the philippines, i didn't want to get close with anyone there, that when i had to leave, my heart will die. (jejeje...my heart AGAIN!) but then, i guess that juss isn't me. Where ever i go, i make friends, i get close to them, and when it's time to say goodbye...im broken up. I really REALLy extremely HATE goodbyes.

I guess i'm that type of girl, that unwillingly lives in her memories, yet, i love to make new ones. hm...does that even make any sense?! I always think back to the time when yadda yadda happened, and then i get sad...because i know that it can't happen. But then, i'm looking forward to what is gonna happen next...by my heart hurts because, i left that one person behind, but my heart is excited, because i get to experience something else.

Maybe THATs why i love to travel, i get to experience something new, meet new people, make new memories, and it's stronger than the fact that i KNOW that i'm gonna be broken up when i leave them. Damn...i am SUCH a confusing person, i know. but then, one day it'll be sorted out.

I guess what i'm really trying to say is...i miss my friends. Every single one of you. All of you whom i met since i could breath. The ones i still talk too. The ones that i juss met. The ones that i haven't spoken to in years. The ones that i lost contact with. All of you. I miss you all.

[Transferred from my myspace blog]