You were to live.

Just the other day I was talking to my friend and we were conversing how the times have changed so fast, so drastically...and we kept on using the term "new-normal." I wonder how long we will be using that term "new-normal." It's so hard to believe that just a few months ago...not even two months ago everything was "normal" how we knew it. It was business as usual and there was only small kine talk about what this "coronavirus" was. I mean, I understand that I live out on a rock in the middle of nowhere...and my main source of "news" is Facebook or some other kind of social media. I would hear from time to time from family and friends on the "mainland" what was going on. I would also hear from my friends and family abroad...but never in my wildest dreams did I think that something like "this" would happened. 

Schools closed and grocery stores limit people who can go in. Essential workers were the only ones who could go out...and if you were deemed "non-essential" you were encouraged to  stay home. For a hot second we even have a curfew (Easter weekend), and even if there wasn't a curfew, there was nothing else to do, but to be at home. The beaches closed; the trails closed; you couldn't be in groups more than 10. But for me the fear of contracting the dreaded Covid-19 and/or being a carrier prevented me from any social activities at all. I live by myself and I am all alone. I refer to my place as the "deadzone" because there is no connection. No internet, no cell phone...no connection. No Netflix, no streaming of music, no video calls, no calls, no nothing. It has been very lonely. And yes, even though I am an introvert, I do crave some kind of human interaction. 

This living in fear is getting so tiresome and I wish for it to be over; however I don't want to rush it. There are already talk that there will be a second wave of this Covid-19 and I don't know how I feel about that. I also am aware that this virus can mutate and who knows what it will mutate too! I already know that during the winter season the flu is something to be aware of, and now we have to be aware of this new virus that has taking the world over...and brought us cowering behind closed doors away from....everything. 

Just when I needed it, I saw this quote. Here I am, living in fear for my life...but what kind of life is it when all you do is live in fear. I want to LIVE my life. I want a life where I am IN-LOVE with what I am doing with life...none of this fear. There is common sense that you have to live with and I hope that people will exercise it. The sad part is that I am also aware that not everyone has common sense or that it differs from person to person...but if we all just respect everyone and where everyone is in their comfort level to go out again after this pandemic, but I think...hope...that we al make it out.

After all...."we were born to live, my dear, not to merely exist."

Full Moon Ramblings

Last night was a full moon. In fact it was a SUPER full moon and when I looked online to make sure that it really was going to be a full moon last night I found out that it was also called the Full Corn Planting Moon and/or the Full Milk Moon. Why? I don't know, I didn't feel like doing a full on research on why, but it was nice to know that the beautiful moon that I saw last night had some pretty cool names...coz my days, it was a beautiful moon.

A picture I took last night enjoying the full moon.

When I was a little girl, I used to open up my window and it had a perfect view of the moon, at whatever phase it was at...and I would "talk to the moon" because I was taught that you had to "talk to God"...but I didn't really know how. All I know was that God was "up there" and at night whenever I looked "up there" I saw the moon. So at an early age, it was always me talking to moon hoping that somehow my words were also traveling "up there" to God. Also, it was a good visual for me...I wasn't just talking into space or something...I was talking to the moon and praying that it was somehow reaching God's ears. I know now that it was and has and will always be. But the moon holds a lot of sentiment to me.

The past few weeks have been tough, no doubt for everyone, but my feelings are valid, too. Sometimes it's easier for me to be strong for those who need me to be strong for them when they can't be strong themselves...but for some reason, for as long as I can remember, it has hard for me to allow someone to be strong for me. I somehow feel like I don't deserve it or something...but you know what, I'm slowly getting there. Trusting people more. But last night, as I was sat waiting for the moon to pop up out from all the clouds, I was zooming down memory lane and remembering all the secrets I would "tell" the moon...and I miss doing that.

I journal. I blog. I do have my friends that I talk to, however those nightly moments when I use to voice my thoughts to the moon, was so pure and so heartfelt. And that's what I did last night. I talk and talk and talked and realized that wow, that was something I really needed. I makes me smile to know that that same moon that I saw last night is the same moon that was there for me when I needed to talk all those years ago. I don't even know why I stopped. 

I love the ocean. I love the mysteries that it holds and I can watch documentaries of the wonders of the ocean for hours and hours and (if only I still had internet connection!) I could even let it play for a long time in the background of my daily life whenever I was home. But what also fascinates me is the cosmos. The heavens. The sky. I am a self-claimed sunrise chaser. (Mind you, I am by far a morning person...there IS a difference!) I can cloud watch, star gaze and meteor showers amaze me. I look for those wishing stars and I smile when I can recognize certain constellations. Whenever I can see a planet my heart beats a bit faster and when I spot a satellite passing overhead, it makes me smile. 

Nature is my inspiration. Yes, I hear that all the time. What inspires you? Nature. But it is so true. I can not even imagine life with out nature. And my heart fills up with so much happiness when I realize that there is a creator (God) that made all that...FOR ME. For everyone, yes...but I like to think that He took His time with certain things...a lot of things, really...because He know that it would make one of His children smile...me. At least that is MY belief. 

Yes, the times right now are uncertain. Yes, the times right now are tough, and sometimes...well, a lot of times, I just feel why?! What's the point? But I know, I know that there is an end. And no matter how lonely I feel, no matter how I feel like I'm alone in my struggles, no matter how tough it all is...the moon and the sun will always rise and fall, no matter who is watching it...it just does. And the God who created them loved me enough to know...that in my darkness, I would need light. And my heart is filled one more time.

The full moon over the Olomanas.

Adventure Art Journal: Zoo Day.

Last Thursday, Tutu A and a friend of mine went and took my DollGirl on a fun day. I love going out to explore...but I love how my DollGirl is at that age that she can come with me as well and enjoy exploring as well! I love taking her places and I love seeing her face light us when she sees things that only going ON an adventure can do!

We had taken her to the Honolulu Zoo, and so this is my first entry in my Adventure Art Journal. I had taken the map that they had given us at the zoo and used it to make a collage of what we did! I think that I might save up to buy a Instax Camera...or a Polaroid camera so that I can add pictures of us as well to the collage. I think that that would be fun...but I like how this turned out.

 I think that that is what I should be doing. Using the paraphernalia that they give me whenever I go traveling around to make collages...it's recycling and it's a good memory keeper, that's for sure!

New Journal: Adventure Art Journal.

One of the things that I want to do more of is to go intentionally exploring. I have always loved to go exploring...even if it was just in my backyard with my dog as my companion. :) But I have always loved to go exploring. I decided that this year I wanted to have a journal that is solely dedicated to my adventures and exploring escapades that I go on!

When I saw this journal online, I knew that this was it! I love the color of it, and i love love love the compass that is on the front cover! I knew that this would make a perfect Adventure Art Journal. It's not a huge journal, but it's big enough to make collages and entries of the fun days that I want to have more of. I can't wait to intentionally plan days just to go exploring...getting in the car and just driving somewhere new because I know that on this island there are places to be seen and explored. I want to do more outer island traveling as well. I want to go on the outer islands as much as I can, because I can and because each Hawai'ian island is different from each other. I am excited because I know that I will be going to Big Island soon...and I SO CAN'T WAIT! :)

So, here is starting my adventure in big beautiful places! I can't wait! Let the adventures begin! :)