Sleepovers.

When was the last time that I had a sleepover...shoots!! I don't know...but guess what?! My friend is sleeping over tonight. We have a lot to catch up on. She works with me....but she turned out to be a good friend. And you know what? I'm glad that I have met her.

Everywhere that I have gone in this world, I have made some great friends...it just sucks so bad though because I am a wanderer...I have a hard time staying in one place for a lot period of time. So far I have lived her for about 3 years and 4 months...and I have only moved once since moving here...so that is good. But I can already feel my soul getting anxious....but of all place in a long time, this place is starting to feel like this can be home. Will I be here in the next 5 years?! I don't know...but I do know that the people that I have met here have become my family...or as they say here my hanai...and I am so glad that I moved here.

Duke. He came to school today and it was the first time that I saw him since it came out that his dad died for our country. Seeing him just brought tears to my eyes. I talked to his grandmother on the hone yesterday...and that in itself was hard...but seeing little Duke it was hard seeing the pain in his eyes.... Sometimes...well, a lot of times life can be unfair. He is only 5 years old...and he lost his dad. I can only imagine how hard it is to comprehend that his dad isn't going to come back. And to know that he will be having a baby sister soon...my heart goes out to him, Mekena (mom), and (unborn) baby sister. They are in my prayers. No one should have to go through that...losing a parent at such a young age. No one should have to go through that...losing your husband. No one should have to go through that...losing a dad you will never get to know in person. I hope she grows up knowing that her dad was a hero. Oh okay, I need to change the subject now...because all this talk is bringing tears to my eyes.

 So my friend Jessica has introduced me to this song that I am currently loving! I have it on repeat at the moment. It's called Rude by MAGIC! Here check it out!

It's such a sad, but happy song. I love the chorus: "Why do you gotta be so rude, don't you know that I'm human to!" That is so right. What makes another human thinks they are more superior than another human. When it comes down to it...we are all human. No one, no rule, no anything gives another person the right to treat another person unfairly with judgement.

For crying out loud, it's your loss if you want to be close-minded.

Memory Books

I try to tell myself that the only reason why we face hardships and heartbreak is to build character. Build character. What does that even mean?! I do make it a daily habit to choose happiness, but some days are a lot harder than some. But I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I can do this. But even strong people cry. And I don't think anything is wrong with that.

I am a firm believer that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle...He always makes sure we have a way out. And for that, I am so grateful. After a particularly hard day at work, I decided to go on a cleaning spree...and I found things that I had put away...that I really needed to see.

When I moved out here, a few of my friends made "memory books" for me to look at whenever I felt lonely for home. I found them. I remember putting them "there" so that they can be at hands reach whenever I wanted to look at them. However, as time went by they got shoved to the back, things were placed on them...until now.

I keep them right on my night stand which is really a side coffee table, but I made into a night stand because I really liked it a lot...but I like how they have this place under it that you can place books and what not there...and these are there. I cleaned under there...and I found them...

I was looking at those three books...and they made me smile.

Such a gorgeous picture of me on the front cover, right?! :) NOT....but makes me laugh, coz I would take a picture like that. *laughs* But my childhood friend, Leah-girl, made this one for me. She had friends sign it and it holds pictures and just random things that I like in it. I miss this girl. We were once super close...and she is one of those friends that holds a special place in my heart. I had thought our lives would always be intertwined...but life had other plans. Don't get me wrong...I smile when I think of her and our crazy things that we use to do, talk about...and just our dreams that we were suppose to fulfill together...I miss her...but I'm pretty sure that she is really happy where she is in life right now. I have this little booklet that she made me and I know that no matter what, if/whenever I see her again...we can still have fun times. 

My "bestie" had thrown my brother and I a surprise party right before we moved out here to Hawai'i. This was the "guest book" that lots of our family and friends signed. I read it from time to time...and remember all the friends and family I left behind. A lot of them I haven't spoken since then...but some of them I saw last time I was in CA back in October 2013. I miss them. I miss her.

This album I have had the longest. This is the memory book that my cousin, Presmarie, gave me when I decided to go to school in the Philippines back in the year 2004. I don't even remember if she remembers that she gave it to me, but I count it one of my most special things that I own. Yes, I am pretty sentimental when it comes to things like this. She had put in letters that we had written to each other as far back as 1997!! Wow! We have grown a lot since then...and she is probably the single person that I still keep in touch with on a weekly basis since moving out here. I know that no matter what, she will always have my back and she will always, always be there for me. I love her...and miss her so much.

Thank you my friends and cousin....years after you gave me those "memory books", I really did need them.

Ones last book that I enjoy looking through from time to time is the book that my "bestie" gave me for my birthday the first year that I moved out here. She is someone that I know that I can talk to about anything with no judgement or anything. I love her and I miss her so much. (That seems like the most redundant thing that I've been saying on this post...but it's so true...!)

 There are a lot things that I like about this book. I love how Mar did her own personal touch to the book and wrote her thoughts and messages in it as well. So I can read her words as well as what the book says. It's such a personal and thoughtful present. She is an amazing, strong person. I miss her.

Before I go, let me share one of the pages that she personalized. My friend, all my friends...past and present friends and family. I miss you. I love you. And may you go with God. Take care.

Trees or Skeletons?!

So, I finally was able to paint my nails...for the first time in this wonderful new year of 2014! My lil' "darling" wanted me to paint the "rainbow with trees"...and so I really did try. I don't know though...they look more like fish skeletons...! *laughs* Oh well, at least I did try. She did want "rainbow butterflies..." but butterflies are her favorite design; I told to choose something else since I painted then butterflies 3 times last month for her...! She deadpanned "trees"...so trees it is. *laughs*

These are the colors that I chose to use; the rainbow of course...but I still had to choose from my "millions and trillions" of nail polish WHICH red, orange, yellow...and so forth. I seriously was tempted to use glitter! I really was...but I decided not to. Lets see how long that will last for...I love glitter!

This is my left hand. I think that I like this hand better...*laughs* granted, I am right handed so of course it's easier to paint my left hand...but I still have a steady, firm left hand when it comes to painting nails...but for this time, I do like this hand better.

I know, I'm too tired to take a better picture...but oh well...this is my right hand. See, not super bad considering I hand to paint with my "weaker" hand. *laughs* If I had to change anything, it would have been to wait a little longer to put the top coat on...now you can see the smears on the yellow. Oh well...I still like them. :)

 

So, put together (on instagram) it looks like that. :) I also lightened my right hand...but yeah. That is that....! 

Sweetdreams!

Let It Go.

As I am sitting here listening to the music of the rain falling outside, I am transported to my younger years when my parents use to tell me about how they use to take a shower in the rain. Say what?! Really?! I remember living in California thinking that they must be CRAZY! Because when it rains, it's cold. So cold that you feel it in your bones and it's actually painful! Your muscles feel so clenched and the shivering is never ending. I remember being so miserable in the rain. So, how was it possible that you can actually take a shower in the rain?!

I have long, thick hair and so I was having trouble thinking about just wetting my hair enough to put shampoo in it and lather it up to a beehive of bubbles...much less rinsing all that out! But then I experienced it! I went to the Philippines and lo' and behold I was able to take a shower in the rain. It was fun...dancing and singing in the rain, taking a shower. It's raining super hard right now, I can't help but wonder if I can take a shower in this down fall.

Right now, I wish that I can just go outside and sit in my backyard in our lanai and just work out there. But the winds are blowing and so the rain is blowing every which way...and I don't want my papers to get wet...so it's all good. I would rather stay inside and stay dry. I do like how it can be warm and rain at the same time...and with the rain hitting my new shade covering thing that my brothers put up for me in the lanai...I don't think I'll be needing my sound machine tonight!

When Amanda was gone for her trip back home during Christmas, I really wanted to clean up my backyard, because it's a really nice backyard...small, but just big enough that I can go outside under my new awning thingy...and stay there for long periods of time! I love it! Don't get me wrong, I still adore going to the beach/park to study...but whenever I feel "lazy" and just don't want to take those few steps to the beach...I love how I can just go to my backyard and work there! I still am able to get the internet, I can be close enough to have my pot of tea next to me with unlimited refills! If I forget something, I can just step inside...instead of quickly running home. I like it. I have awesome brothers that did that for me, I didn't even ask...they knew I wanted it, so they took the time to do it for me. I love them.

I love my family. So much. I don't even want to think about life without them. I love them. But for now, I must go to sleep while it's still raining...tonight, I get the real deal. Reminds me home. Winter has finally arrived here in Hawai'i.

Before I go though, I need to say, I really want to see the movie Frozen. And I am SOOO loving the song "Let It Go" performed by Indina Menzel, so please take a few minutes to enjoy this music video. :)  

Choose Happiness.

These past couple of weeks have been insanely difficult emotionally for not only me but for my co-workers, family, and friends as well. I can't help but ask myself when it all will end; everyday I make it a conscious effort to "choose happiness" because that is all that I can do. Well, no, not really...I heart hurts for those who have lost a loved one and so, I send my heartfelt prayers for them and wish, hope, and pray that they will find comfort in knowing that one day they will see their loved ones again.

Sweet Finley

The preschool that I work at is living each day for the children, getting by because of them. I love the fact that these little keiki can somehow find their way into your heart and make you realize that it's going to be okay. I love each and every one of my keiki...those who I have in my class currently and those who I have taught...even those who I have not had the privilege of having in my classroom, but since our school is VERY "ohana" oriented...we all know each other. The children as well as their family. So, in saying this...their loss is our loss as well.

Our dear little one, Finley Boyle, passed this last January 3, 2014 after being in a coma for about a month. She left us too soon, and I pray that her mom and those who love her find healing for the little one that they lost way to early in life.

Taken from my friend, Ashley's Instagram

Last Friday, it was found out that one of our parents that was just deployed lost his life fighting for our country. It's hard knowing that I won't ever see him pick up his son at our school anymore, knowing that I won't see his smiling face, or see him lazily strolling up to the school holding his wife's hand as they pick up their child together. It's harder still knowing that he left behind his family who loves him and I am very sure misses him so very much; including his unborn child. My heart hurts for his wife, "our" little child's mom who will have to face this pregnancy without her love...and my heart hurts for Duke who is only 4 years old. I am so proud of Drew, though, and I thank him and all those who are fighting, who were fighting, and who will fight for my country and I.

But my heart hurts still.

Last Friday, I ended up going to my sisters house to stay there for the weekend just so that I can be with family. My lil' DollGirl never fails to make me smile...just being with her this last weekend has started the healing process of loosing those at my center. Unfortunately though, that wasn't the only bad news before the week ended. Late Friday night, a phone call from my brother informs us that my housemate, his girlfriend, my very close friend lost her grandma. And it sucks so bad because she is far away from home...and she was just home less than two weeks ago...but she does take comfort knowing that she was able to see her grandmother one last time during Christmas.

When I got the phone call that Finley had passed away, my co-worker told me a phrase "Everything happens for a reason"...it's one of the phrases that I like to say myself....everything does happen for a reason. We don't know the reason right now, but one day we will know...and I just trust in God to know that Has a plan for me and that even though I don't understand why things happen, they happen for a reason and my future is in His hands. It's so hard sometimes, and I won't deny that I do questions why things happen...but maybe something will happen in the future to help me understand why it happened...maybe I'll never know until God comes again, but everything happens for a reason. I made this to post up in my room to remind me of that.

And you know, not all is so sad. Flowers make me happy. :) All the time, no fail. Flowers make me happy. I am blessed that I have a job where I can work with flowers, take some home when there are extra...but wow, God knew what he was doing when He made these beauties! Not only are they beautiful...but wow, their smell permeates the studio and I love walking in there knowing that I will be enveloped in the gorgeous reminder that God made these flowers to make people smile. At least they make me smile. :)

This week, I will get through. No matter that my heart is heavy...I will get through, because I force myself to choose happiness. It is MY choice...and no one can take that choice away.

Last Post of 2013!

So, things have been mad busy lately, so I have a huge feeling that this is will be my last post of the year! I need to get on it! *laughs* This year, I wasn't able to post as much, hopefully with the new year coming in, I'll be able to post more! *crosses fingers*

Well, Christmas was a lot of fun! I went to my sister's house...and I didn't even have to go into work on Christmas Eve! Yay...but BOO, I have to work New Years Eve...oh well. Amanda left December 20 to go home she came back today though. I feel bad for her because they had to cancel her flight going home and so her and two other friends had to scramble to try to find new flights. Good thing though that the flight help person was able to help them! Coming back was okay though, and I"m glad that I'm not alone in the house anymore!!

Anyways, I am in a rush, so here are some pictures that I took of from Christmas and some!

Yes, I did change my nail polish! Even though there isn't a huge design here...the nail polish is pretty cool, don't you think?! :) Plus, since I did choose a Blue theme for the house, I matched it with my nails. :) My friend got me at least 5 different colors of this nail polish! I ADORE IT! DollGirl liked it too! She couldn't stop looking at it! :)

Here is my sister with DollGirl! Oh mandope! That little one had a lot of fun opening her stalking! It was adorable...I super enjoyed watching her open her stalking with her mom. I loved how this year she was more aware than she was last year when she was just a few months old. Plus since we went to the Mainland for Christmas, this was her first Christmas here in Hawai'i...and I loved her excitedness for everything!! :)

Oh, my goodness! I think this little DollGirl was our entertainment opening presents this year! *laughs* She had a lot of fun! And was SUPER excited over everything! I got her that basketball hoop...and look at her loving her "ball" one of the words she LOVES to say...and she loves to play and throw already! Her Dad, Uncle and I are already playing basketball with her...it's soo fun!

My brother-in-law got my fish a Christmas present! I have THE BEST brother-in-law...and I thank my sister plenty for giving me an awesome brother! :) But he got them that "Surf's Up" aquarium decoration. I love it. My fish seem to like it too. :) Amanda and Jeremy got that "The Mermaid is In" sign for me for my birthday this past year...I adore it. :)

So, I am loving tea. Don't get me wrong though, I still love my coffee...but I love tea...and I love trying different kinds...and so my brother got me this amazing glass teapot with Flowering Tea...! Oh my goodness...I LOVE it! My brother SO knows me!! I love him...and Amanda got me the cutest Elephant tea spoons. My brother had gotten me the elephant mug for my birthday one year...but I love my family...they soooo knows me when it comes to getting me things that are SOOO me! :)

So, I did try the Flowering Tea...and it was really beautiful to watch...:) Not too strong, just right...and yes, I do like my tea with milk and honey...so yummy!

 Here is DollGirl playing with one of the toys that Amanda got for her. SOOO cute! She is going to be just like her mother! Cooking and baking!

Well, here is to the new year...I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful new years day...and an amazing year to come! 

Blue Christmas.

So, I am quite excited because we finally were able to put up our Christmas tree! I wanted to go with the blue theme this year...and so we did. My brother and my housemate helped me with it...and we had fun putting it up! Now, I just need to wrap my presents and put them under the tree! The lights are SO beautiful!

I'll add the presents soon!

So pretty! It makes me smile!

My Christmas nails this year was done fast. I didn't realize that I would be busy...but what do you expect! Weddings and teaching and studying takes up a lot of my time...and so here are my Christmas nails! Super fast, yet fun! Well, I hope that this Christmas will be filled with lots of fun! Even though Amanda will be going home for Christmas, she will be back for New Years, so that is good...:) Well, I need to go to sleep now...but yes, I am excited for Christmas! :) Oh yeah, here are my nails!