Choose Happiness.

These past couple of weeks have been insanely difficult emotionally for not only me but for my co-workers, family, and friends as well. I can't help but ask myself when it all will end; everyday I make it a conscious effort to "choose happiness" because that is all that I can do. Well, no, not really...I heart hurts for those who have lost a loved one and so, I send my heartfelt prayers for them and wish, hope, and pray that they will find comfort in knowing that one day they will see their loved ones again.

Sweet Finley

The preschool that I work at is living each day for the children, getting by because of them. I love the fact that these little keiki can somehow find their way into your heart and make you realize that it's going to be okay. I love each and every one of my keiki...those who I have in my class currently and those who I have taught...even those who I have not had the privilege of having in my classroom, but since our school is VERY "ohana" oriented...we all know each other. The children as well as their family. So, in saying this...their loss is our loss as well.

Our dear little one, Finley Boyle, passed this last January 3, 2014 after being in a coma for about a month. She left us too soon, and I pray that her mom and those who love her find healing for the little one that they lost way to early in life.

Taken from my friend, Ashley's Instagram

Last Friday, it was found out that one of our parents that was just deployed lost his life fighting for our country. It's hard knowing that I won't ever see him pick up his son at our school anymore, knowing that I won't see his smiling face, or see him lazily strolling up to the school holding his wife's hand as they pick up their child together. It's harder still knowing that he left behind his family who loves him and I am very sure misses him so very much; including his unborn child. My heart hurts for his wife, "our" little child's mom who will have to face this pregnancy without her love...and my heart hurts for Duke who is only 4 years old. I am so proud of Drew, though, and I thank him and all those who are fighting, who were fighting, and who will fight for my country and I.

But my heart hurts still.

Last Friday, I ended up going to my sisters house to stay there for the weekend just so that I can be with family. My lil' DollGirl never fails to make me smile...just being with her this last weekend has started the healing process of loosing those at my center. Unfortunately though, that wasn't the only bad news before the week ended. Late Friday night, a phone call from my brother informs us that my housemate, his girlfriend, my very close friend lost her grandma. And it sucks so bad because she is far away from home...and she was just home less than two weeks ago...but she does take comfort knowing that she was able to see her grandmother one last time during Christmas.

When I got the phone call that Finley had passed away, my co-worker told me a phrase "Everything happens for a reason"...it's one of the phrases that I like to say myself....everything does happen for a reason. We don't know the reason right now, but one day we will know...and I just trust in God to know that Has a plan for me and that even though I don't understand why things happen, they happen for a reason and my future is in His hands. It's so hard sometimes, and I won't deny that I do questions why things happen...but maybe something will happen in the future to help me understand why it happened...maybe I'll never know until God comes again, but everything happens for a reason. I made this to post up in my room to remind me of that.

And you know, not all is so sad. Flowers make me happy. :) All the time, no fail. Flowers make me happy. I am blessed that I have a job where I can work with flowers, take some home when there are extra...but wow, God knew what he was doing when He made these beauties! Not only are they beautiful...but wow, their smell permeates the studio and I love walking in there knowing that I will be enveloped in the gorgeous reminder that God made these flowers to make people smile. At least they make me smile. :)

This week, I will get through. No matter that my heart is heavy...I will get through, because I force myself to choose happiness. It is MY choice...and no one can take that choice away.