Random Rambles of a Quaratined Mind

It's been a little bit more than a month since we were encouraged to stay home and self-quarantine, social-distance, and/or social-isolate ourselves from the outside world. It hasn't been an easy, by far, and sometimes I wonder if this all is necessary. Then, I talk to a family/friend who is an essential worker...the amazing, self-sacrificing frontliner, and I think, yes, it really is necessary. It's hard, no joke, it really is hard, but I just tell myself apart, we are together.

I am blessed to have a place to stay at night. I have blessed to have a home to go to...a home to stay at; a place to call my own. I live in an amazing place that is gated and is beautiful...a horse ranch, and I can't complain that I am "stuck" in quarantine in this beautiful island of Oahu. My only gripe is the fact that I have next to no internet/cell reception...and that I am alone. I live alone. I am not quarantined with anyone, so I am alone. And with no reception...well, with very little reception, it is so hard to stay focused on what matters. I find myself starting to look at myself and feeling sorry for myself because somehow, along the way of these trying times, I had lost my self-motivation, self-determination, and self-worth.

I am a teacher with no classroom, no students. I am an Auntie, with no littles to love on. I am a friend, with limited ways to communicate to see if they are okay. I am a sister, with limited and short communication to my sister and brother. I am a daughter, with no way to be near my parents since they are high-risk. I am me, with no purpose. Or so it seemed. I tell myself...it is NOT like that and it is my choice to see it like that.

Or I can say, I am a teacher/auntie/friend/sister/daughter trying my best to do what I can do to help them...by staying home and not adding to the problem. I write letters, postcards, post videos up for my preschool keiki to watch. I call/text my family and friends whenever I can. I send little care package "letters" to random people. I cook and bake yummy experiments for my neighbors. I try to do my best to spread love and cheer in the midst of this horrible moment in time. And that is all that I can do.

I want so bad for things to go back to "normal" and then I ask myself, do I really? Do I really want things to go back to normal when "normal" was not the healthiest? I mean, come on, it took something like THIS to finally get people to understand that you have to WASH YOUR HANDS, and COVER YOUR MOUTH?! If normal means not doing those things as much, no, I don't want things to get back to normal. I pray that when this is all over, people will learn and take into consideration what they had to go through to get back into society.

I think what I want mainly is to not live in fear. I hate having to second-guess everything I do, and everywhere I go. As of right now, I have deemed my place, my school, and two of my friends houses as a "safe place" My place, because it will always be my safe place, my school because since we have closed our doors, no one goes there, except for us teachers who just stay in our own room. I go there to create videos for my little ones to watch. And two of my friends who are just as careful as I am, and who I trust that they will tell me if I can't come over for whatever reason. Since this all started I have only gone to the grocery store once; it helps that I am living by myself and I don't have to worry about taking care of anyone else. I do have to worry, though, about remembering to eat. I have found out that with no real schedule in my life at the moment, I tend to forget to eat.

But yes, I want to not live in fear. In fear that I might run into someone and want to badly give them a hug, but I can't. In fear that I might catch the dreaded COVID-19 virus and not be able to get ahold of anyone since I have limited connection to the outside world from my house. In fear that I won't get to be with my family any more. In fear to just make a "quick stop" at the store to grab some ice-cream. In fear of going to the beach and getting a fine because we aren't allowed on the beach anymore...much less hiking trails and public parks. I hate how limited human connection is now. I believe that we are built to have human connection and that without, life can get really hard. It is hard.

I always said that I loved my job. I am a 2-3 year old preschool teacher. Everyday I would come to school to unlimited hugs, unlimited stories, unlimited cuddles and love. Cold turkey I went from all of that to nothing. It has been more than a month since I received a hug. It was only just recently that I was even comfortable to get out and see people again. I live in a place that I lovingly call the "deadzone." It really is like the "deadzone"...so way off-the-grid. I get no mail, no tv service, no internet, no cell reception. Okay, the reality of it all, I do get service, but so minimal that it's hardly worth the mention. And it's hard. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my kids. And I miss just being around people and knowing what is going on in the world. But I try to tell myself that I need to concentrate on myself and by staying limited in the places that I go, and by staying home for days on end, I am helping.

What have I been doing to stay sane? Read. Paint. Write. Lots and lots of writing. Do my nails (which is my guilty pleasure in this time of craziness). Sing. Play the piano. Play the ukulele. Sing. Work out. Lots and lots of working out.

Before all “this” happened, I used to wake up at the crack of dawn…4:30AM, text my good friend that I actually got up (love my accountability friend) and do some kind of work out. I try real hard to stay with that schedule. But now with long days that seem to last triple the actual “normal” day, I find myself unable to motivate myself to get up to work out. I mean, I USED to have to be at work at 7:00AM (Although, I would always get there at around 6:45AM), so I had to wake up at 4:30 to work out if I wanted to take a shower afterwards and put my face on (side story: love putting on makeup and doing my hair all cute—sometimes!) and drink my coffee, eat some kind of breakfast…and have my morning devotional! That is a lot of stuff to get done in just a little over 2 hours. I swear I am not a morning person! (Sunrise chaser, yes, but morning person, no.) But now that the days are soooo looonnnngggg….I don’t feel that need to wake up so early any longer. I keep my alarm at 4:30AM…blah, who am I kidding at 4:31AM (you KNOW that one minute is means SO MUCH that early in the morning! Don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean!), so I do wake up…but that does not mean I get up.

I did have a pep talk to myself though. One thing about living by yourself is that you are you own pep talk person. No one else is there to get you up and showing up…only you. When I first started living on my own, I would get the occasional parental call or big sister call…or even the brother call to see if I am okay…but now, who cares, right? Out of sight, out of mind…but it’s my responsibility to myself to be my own motivator. So, yes, I did give myself that pep talk and told myself to SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP! Storms don’t last forever…so get up and show up. And so now, yes, in the morning (very vague here) I get up and do some time of kickboxing and then in the evening (again, very vague time frame here) I do Insanity by Shaun T. Have you heard of it?! Oh days, look it up…it’s something else. No joke. I am currently doing the Cardio Max…and it really is no joke. You want to sweat and feel like blacking out, but feel good about a good work out…check it out. And now that the beaches are open, I try to go to the beach and swim.

That’s another thing. I wish I were a mermaid. My mom said that I could be anything that I put my mind to and if I work real hard at it…I can do it; I can be it. I want to be a mermaid. Are mermaids real, you ask? Well, the ocean is huge, and we haven’t yet explored the who thing…and even if somehow we did, there is more that is left unexplored. That is all I am saying there.  

Well, enough of me rambling about anything and everything. Enjoy your life! Aloha!

"We are all in this together" I created this while holed up in "the deadzone". A good reminder, that even though we are apart, we are still together in this mess that the world is in. Together, healing together, far apart, but together. 

Hello March

Hello March! I can't believe how fast this year is going! I seriously feel like I blinked and 1/4 of the year past! But Christmas break is long gone and I have survived this far...and I am so looking forward to Spring break in a week or so!

Work/School is going...going...going...well. I have finally gotten all the keiki where I wished that they could have been 2-4 weeks from the beginning of the school year. I think this is the first time I have worked with the younger 2..some starting on their birthday. And I have to say that it was rather difficult (with this age group) when a child started, since all they would do is cry, cry cry. And when I finally got that child settled, another child would start at a later date, and the whole crying process would start all over again. Which is what happened this year. I had children starting as late as November...and another one that started this past FEBRUARY! It was hard only because the whole dynamics changed in the class and I had to work real hard to get it back to where the children were wanting to learn, instead of trying to grasp to the newness of something...new. But wow, I made it...and I am still loving it, that's for sure! I love my keiki; I love what I do. I love getting to know each child individually and as a group. Each year is different...my goodness, each DAY is different and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now to only try to get the children to stay home when they are sick! I feel like this is a constant battle among teachers...sick children coming to school...spreading their sickness...irritated parents from hearing other children sick and coughing in their child's face...and then having to deal with that as a teacher...who feels like she is now sick from all the sickness spreading around the school. I have never had this many children "allergic" to something. The "reason" why the children come to school with runny noses, coughing, drippy eyes, and a lethargic behavior. "They're not contagious- it's just allergies." But they are STILL leaving a trail of mucus and whatnot where ever they go! But what do I know? They probably do have allergies...

But enough with that. I love my keiki...and I love my class. I love the spontaneous aura I have in my class...the whole "no two days are a like" is so my class. Working with two-year olds is so rewarding because I have the privilege of seeing so much develop in such a short amount of time! A lot of my keiki started not talking...(or speaking in gibberish or "minion-talk"), and now we can talk story for days...and I actually can understand them! I love hearing their thought process, the why of life, and the reason for anything under the sun! I love watching their confidence and self-esteem grow stronger each day and I love seeing "my" little ones start developing ohana feelings for their classmates and for myself. Their attention span is improving...they all love art...and dancing is a must in my class. We have these wonderful impromptu dance/karaoke sessions in my class...and I tell the little ones that as long as they are singing "anything can be a music instrument." They are getting to know the rules to that though...PEOPLE are not drums...and neither are fish tanks. And their little voices singing is so endearing to me! I love how they are in a habit of singing most anything. I love hearing them make up their own lyrics and dancing to their own beat! And I am very impressed with their "clean-up" skills and how they are using their words. They are always game to trying out new things for artwork, exercise movement, activity, and/or circle time.

I was real impressed the other day when we talking about the alphabet. At this age, I don't normally try to teach them letters (we are a more social/behavioral school)...but since our topic for this month is music and literature, I try to introduce to them a letter a day and of course I started with the letter "A." I was telling them that "A" is for alligator and had plans to read the book "There's an Alligator Under My Bed" by Mercer Mayer, pretend we were alligators, had an alligator artwork ready for them...the whole she-bang. But as I drew the letter on the board and said "Okay my friends, "A" is for alligator"...I had a little boy speak up and say, "Aunty, "A" is for Aloha." And he couldn't have been more right! :) We do sing that song:

"A" is for Aloha ("A" is for Aloha)

"L" is for Love ("L" is for Love)

"O" is for Ohana

"H" is for Hawai'i

ALOHA, ALOHA

so, of course...it made my heart smile.



It has been cold, cold, cold lately and a few weeks ago it rained so hard, I thought I was going to get stuck! Where I live there is only one way out on a bridge. If the ocean rises enough from all the rain and floods the bridge (which I am told that it has happened!) Then I guess it's good that I'm so comfortable swimming in the ocean to get to the other side! *laughs* Nah, I have my friends who have boards and boats that could probably get me, OR I just stayed on my side of the bridge and did some artsy stuff while listening to the steady flow of the rain! And since rain doesn't bother me so much, I did walk down to the beach and sat at the shoreline for a bit. I love watching all the moods of the beautiful ocean. Right now it is saying that it is 68degrees. Cold, super cold for Hawai'i. But then then again where my sister lives, I feel like it is much colder than where I would normally be at this moment. At home.

Now, that is another long story. But for short...the heavy rains drove the critters out of their homes and so I have been finding a lot of RATS (which I first thought were mice, but was wrong!) INSIDE MY STUDIO. So until they cease to enter my place I have moved out of my beloved studio and have come to live with my sister for the time being. I do go back to my place every morning to get ready for work and after work I stop by before come here to my sister's only because my landlady is still there (for some reason the rats are finding their way into my studio, but apparently not here house) and I go there to check up on her and make sure she is okay and of course, my fish. I have 6 aquariums with my darling fish, and I have to feed them and make sure to do their water changes when needed. But is has been tiring to say the least. The whole back and forth, back and forth of it all. I am so grateful for my sister and her family for allowing me to stay with them, but I also really, really miss my own space and home. Plus, I feel like it's a LOT colder where my sister live...but it's always so good to be with family. :)

My family is growing...and I couldn't be more happy about that! In the past couple of months I have gained several nieces and nephews some whom I haven't yet met, but still love so very much! My best friend had her baby and I am so looking forward to seeing him in a couple months! All these babies are making me smile! I am so happy that I work at a preschool, because watching the new generation grow and develop is such an awesome feeling! I love being a part of a child's life, helping them learn the skills to get along in life...and just watching their personalities shape into who they are. But my family is everything to me; I love them. I love them all! :)



My family makes me feel blessed and loved. I feel like that there is no stronger bond (other than God's love for us!) than a family bond. I also feel like people can choose who is in their family...so I believe that friends can also be family to you.



I have always loved to paint. That doesn't mean that I am any good by far! But I am choosing to get better so I am doing it more. I love to paint with acrylics, but now I am venturing out of my comfort zone and trying to watercolor paint. So. Much. Different! Wow, it's so different! I like it though. I feel as if it's more soft and challenging. Don't get me wrong painting with acrylics is not an easy thing, but because I don't paint watercolor painting as much it's more of a challenge for me. Lately these "galaxy watercolor" paintings have catching my eye and so I wanted to try them out myself. They are so beautiful and so I tried my hand at it, and even though it looked easier enough to do, it was harder...well, more different than what I was used to. I am also loving all these creative quotes! I made a few of these round galaxy with quotes in them and I have given a few of them out to share. They are a lot of fun to made and look at !



Another thing I have been trying is the pointed pen. Wow, that is fun! I love writing with the pointed pen. I have to hold myself back from buying all the supplies for the pointed pen! I actually have a few material for the pointed pen but when I got the tools that I needed from a new subscription box that I subscribe to (The Inky Box-mini). My sister actually gifted me a 3-month subscription to this box and I couldn't be more happier with it! I might have to continue with this subscription because it introduces me to new ways to letter that I haven't even thought about it! With the pointed pen it's a lot different than the brush pen that I am used to. I like that pointed pen because it does force me to slow down and really thing about each stroke of the pen.



Every day I am trying to post something up on Instagram that makes up my life. Whether that be some lettering that I've done, some artwork that I've painted, my fish (I love to aquascape their homes!), some book I've read, a place that I visited/travelled to, a view that that made me smile, my current planner moment, one of my journal entries...something...anything. It's always fun to look back to see what I've done and it's also a fun way to meet people and get inspiration and tips and other things. (Feel free to follow me! @mylife_oceanstorm)



Before I forget, I wanted to mentioned that in the beginning of the year a celebration of life was held for Legend. I had so many emotions as I was a part of this amazing event. Saddness all around, but happiness and awe to see just how many peoples lives were touched by the 3 life-filled years of this young, precious boy. My friend was able to get this picture of while we were walking back to my place after the event. There were so many people who were brought together to support and encourage and grieve with Legend's parents and sisters. I consider myself blessed to have known this young boy who was taken from us too soon. Legend, my you rest in peace, little one. Can't wait to see you again one day!



Well, hopefully I can be more consistent with my blog entries.  I miss writing them...so I will try my best to find time to write. If not, I will be back...one day. :)

"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a

different person then."

-Lewis Carroll

Alice in Wonderland

Please check me out and follow me on IG: @mylife_oceanstorm

Paint Party!

Earlier this week, my friend texted me a flyer about this fundraiser at her son's school. It was called "Paint Party"and it actually was held at my sister-in-laws school. I have heard about these Paint Parties, with different names and I have always wanted to try. But me being all introverted and not really good with a lot of people that I don't know and so this was the perfect opportunity to go and try this out! I asked my friend if she wanted to come with me and so agreed. When we got there, I realized that my sister-in-law was also attending the event.

So, when we got there there were little stations with easels, canvas, paint and brushes that we could choose to sit at. We picked out our sitting arrangements and got some pupus to snack on while everyone was arriving (we got there about 15 minutes earlier).

So we started out painting after introducing ourselves to everyone that arrived (note: please do not ask an introvert with anxiety issues to introduce herself! It's VERY nerve wrecking!). The first part wasn't that hard to get. Then it started to get harder to follow what the instructor was doing!

When we had to paint the dark part around our "sun" it was getting harder to blend without all the color turning brown. It was really hard to see what was going on..and the blending wasn't working with me. I felt like I was doing make up on canvas! Blend, blend, blend!

More blending....I had to stop for a bit so that it could dry and I can continue trying to figure out the sky...

Okay, I know that was a big skip in the pictures...but I forgot to take pictures of the step by step process. I think that making the ocean part was the easiest part. The far breaks were pretty easy to create, however that wave in the front was the most difficult part!

I think that in the pictures the wave actually pretty decent..I think that it was hard because I couldn't figure out what we were doing since we didn't get to see what we were doing at first...but that's okay...because I now know the steps on how to make a wave! :)

So here is the painting with both the sky and water. I hadn't finished the sky yet and I have to fix the waterline where it touches the sky and I really don't like how my sun is looking.

Here is my friend who came with me looking all professional! I think that she is doing a great job! I really like her's turned out!

I just added the clouds and fixed the horizon...and touched up on the sun. I really want to fix more...but I feel like the more that I try to, the more I mess it up and so I just left it..and you know what?! I'm happy with how it turned out! It all worked out!

And here are my sister-in-laws, my friend who came with me, and my paintings. I like how they look different and unique in their own art.

All-in-all, I had a lot of fun. Once I started to pain, I didn't even see all those people that had gone and all my anxiety disappeared. I was just having fun with it and trying to get everything all right. It was a lot of harder than I thought that it would be...but then I am glad that I got to learn new techniques on how to paint. Because I do like to mess around in painting...but i just never really knew how...but I would so do this again. There wasn't that many people there and it was a very fun and relaxed environment. Yay to fun moments! :)