Thursday, August 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Bestie!!

You know what?! I will never complain about living here in Hawaii....because I absolutely LOVE it! I'm not really sure why I didn't do it long before I even did...but I don't regret...because I love living here.

I will complain about one thing though. Living here in Oahu makes me so far from my bestie, Marlee Joy R. I miss her. And today is her birthday. Since coming back from the Philippines, I've been so confused about a lot things. I bottled up a lot of hurt...and I just tried to live for others. I tried to help other's out. But at the end of the day, when I'm all alone, thinking, right before I went to sleep...I couldn't help but think...why isn't anyone there for me. I let people take and take and take from me...and I never expect ANYTHING from ANYONE...but sometimes I think...why can't anyone be there for me?!

I think that is why I try to be the best friend that I can be to others..because I don't know what they are thinking or going through...so I can be that one person that they can count on. That I can be that one person that they know that will be there...because I wish I had someone like that. And I do.

I've known Mar for the longest time. We grew up together...but it wasn't until around this time last year that I got super close with her. She is my strong hold. I know that if ever I need someone, she is there. During my hardest times when I finally moved back to the States, the people that I thought would be there for me...weren't...and at first I didn't even care...but when it got to much, Mar was the one who actually saw that I needed a friend. A real friend. No, don't take me wrong, I think all my friends are real...but this was the first time that someone actually saw that I needed someone right now. Not later. Not after I'm there for you. Not at a later date but Right. Now. And she was there.

If it weren't for her...who knows where I would be. I'm not stupid...I wouldn't take my life or anything....but if it weren't for her, I would probably be in that ditch of depression with no way to get out. I always tell myself NEVER to fall that low in the first place...but at that moment when I needed that someone...and no one was there...she was...and for that, I will always be grateful to her.

Happy birthday, Mar. I miss you. 
My brother, bestie and I saying goodbye at the airport [when I moved to HI]