Monday, January 19, 2009

Interesting...


.. ..Wow…today was a pretty interesting day. So this week is intramurals week…so basically sports week. I so wanted to play volleyball, but then, my Psychology teachers told me that we were going to have class all week instead of being able to join in the sports and stuff…yeah, my personal opinion on all that is that THAT’S NOT RIGHT, MAN! But then I was like, oh okay, I won’t play volleyball…ended up they cancelled my class today [ugh…I hate Mondays!] and so I decided to go to the gym to socialize and to get out of my apartment…and it was actually pretty interesting. So I have been withdrawing from the world in general…and I knew that I needed to stop that. I saw my “friends” that I haven’t seen in such a long time…and they were like, “Char! You’re alive!” *laughs* I’m not THAT depressed and down that I would take my own life…! That is NOT an option with me. And I met hella new people…and it was juss a fun day. I watch both basketball and volleyball…and yeah…they were hella bumping the music hella loud and the cheerings was even louder…and that’s me…I like to cheer loud…I couldn’t cheer for teams though because I have a lot of friends on both teams that would be playing and so I had to cheer for individual people…*laughs*
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I remember I use to love watching the boys play sport…back in high school, the guys I dated where the “jocks” *laughs* and so they were always playing some sport and since I was big into sports as well, it was something in common and stuff…and I remember I would juss go and watch my “man” play…and juss cheer hella loudly and juss have so much fun. Oh goodness…Leah-girl…this chica is crazy and I remember got in trouble because we were cheering too loud in the gym?! Uhm…what is that?! Who gets in trouble for cheering to loud…?! But anyways, we did…*laughs* I guess we were louder than that fog horn that one lady brought! I miss highschool…I had an awesome highschool life. *laughs* and then in college in the States…oh man, that was fun…going to the sports events and cheer for my friends…meet people....see “eye-candy” *laughs* oh man…I miss that. And today juss reminded me of those many basketball, volleyball, football, softball games and tournaments I use to go on and go too…and wow…*laughs*
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One sport I do wish that I learned is soccer…I think that ice hockey would have been fun too. *laughs* But soccer would have been a cool sport to learn…maybe I still can…
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I think I need a massage…naw, I take that back…I KNOW I need a massage! *laughs* I think its about time I hit the spa…and juss pamper myself. I know that I have hella knots in my back from all the stress and juss because I’ve juss been so tense and stuff…I think a full body massage will do me some good. Oh problem though, I’m hella ticklish…I remember when I was getting a massage from this one masseuse person thingy thing-thing and goodness gracious, it was everything in me not to burst out laughing…she kept telling me relax…but I was juss trying to hard not to laugh…yep, I can feel the knots in my back shoulders…!
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I wanna go bowling. That was one thing that I didn’t get to fit in when I was home last October…I didn’t get to go bowling. I need to cut my nails though, so that I won’t break them and stuff…[don’t think I’m that girlie girl though, I couldn’t care less if I break a nail, but sometimes it breaks in a odd angle and it bleeds…especially when I’m bowling]…but I think that is something that I want to do when I get home. I wonder if I can talk my parents into letting me go home this “summer” [March-June] I need this long break…I really need it so bad. I know that I was home last October…but I was in and down from my sister’s and parents place…and I didn’t even get to spend much time with my brotherhood…and so, I really wanna go home. I wish that I can spend my birthday at home. Birthday’s here suck shit. Maybe if I can go home this summer…I can take the long way home and stop by Hawaii and see my sister and brother-in-law…it’s been awhile since I’ve been there anyways. Maybe I can hit up ....Florida.... too…see my family there too….*laughs* hey, who said that it was bad to dream?! *laughs*
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Oh my friend gave me this one quote last week out of the blue and it really make me think… “God doesn’t give you people you want, He gives you people you NEED – to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, to make you into the person you were meant to be.” You know me, I love quotes and sayings that have a lot of sayings…and I really like this one…because sometimes things happen in your life…and people come into your life and your like…why?! Why?! Why?! And you’ll never know why, and you don’t see the full picture…but it made me realize that no, I don’t see the full picture…but maybe the reason why the person came into my life and helped me, hurt me, left me and loved me was because I know that everything that happens in your life forms who you are…and knowing that there is a reason why these people come into your life to help make you into the person you were meant to be…makes my heart hurt a little less…because yeah, who knows…maybe it’ll make me empathize and sympathize better or something. And that’s why one of the reason why I do my absolute best not to judge people and I try to get to know people is because, I never know if I’ll learn something form that person, you know?
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Here’s another quote that someone gave me last night… “If you are not sure where you stand in someone’s life, it’s best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don’t waste time waiting for nothing; when efforts are not recognized, it’s best to just give things up. You’ve done your part, let them do theirs.” I truly wish that I got this quote a long time ago…
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It sucks though, and I really hate hurting people…and I never ever, I couldn’t ever, I’d have the most biggest guilty conscious if I hurt someone intentionally…so I couldn’t even think of it. But the guy who gave me that quote was this guy who has been trying to date me for a long time. It was hard though because he made his intentions known and stuff…but he couldn’t get it through his head that I wasn’t into him the way he was into me…and I was with someone already [when he first tried to get with me]…and he knew it…but I guess he still thought that I would give him a chance…but I’m not that kind of person…I can’t do that to him and to the person I was with. I could only give him my friendship…and it sucks super duper because I guess he wanted more and couldn’t handle the fact that I couldn’t give him more. He was and is a good friend though…I juss hate hurting people…I hate it when they hurt. Fuck, it hurts to be hurt and/or hurting!
Well, I need to go and take a shower…I have a long day tomorrow and I need to go to sleep. I miss you all so much and I love you muchoness!
*hugs*
“Souls in the wind must learn how to bend, seek out a star, hold on to the end…valley, mountain, there is a fountain that washes our tears all away, waves are swaying, someone is praying, please let us come home to stay, if we hold on together, I know out drams will never die…dreams see us through to forever, will clouds roll by for you and I…?” If We Hold On Together

[Transferred from my myspace blog]