Monday, January 19, 2009

I do to hurt...


I hurt too you know. I don’t always have to be so happy all the time, and I don’t always have to show that I’m “okay.” But I choose too, and you know why?! Because I know that juss because I’m having a crap day, juss because everything around me is falling apart, juss because I try so hard to succeed in life and it’s not working out…juss because I have an empty void where my heart use to be…it doesn’t mean that I have to take it out on the people around me. I still smile, because someone else might be having a crap, shit day…and maybe juss maybe my smile, my “hello”, my laughter might give them that much needed boost to get them through the day…no, I’m not conceited, and I’m not saying that I’m better than you because I can choose to be happy when everything is shit around me. No, I’m not plastic or fake…I’m juss me.  To know that other’s are happy…makes me smile, so if I can do something to make you smile, if I can do something to make you laugh, if I can do something to make you happy, then I will do it…but that does NOT mean that I never have problems…that doesn’t mean that I don’t have troubles or trials in life…and it doesn’t mean your words and actions don’t hurt me…it only means that I hide it because that’s who I am and it’s none of you business to know. And for those handful of people who have had the unfortunate “privilege” of hearing or seeing me cry…it will never happen again…I was mistaken and thought you cared enough to see the real “raw” me, underneath the hyper-active, talk-a-tive, out-going, social butterfly chica…obviously I was wrong, and that mistake will not happen again. But know, that I do get my spirits broken, that I do cry… and know that I do hurt. You juss don’t see it.
“The face can speak of a thousand emotions, but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don’t be fooled for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart.”

[Transferred from my myspace blog]