Tuesday, January 8, 2008

but yet, I smile anyways..

I had forgotten what it was like to be in-love and then have it crushed right when you thought that it was real. I mean, I remember telling myself that I will never again fall for those sweet words that guys like to throw at you to see if you could fall for it. Those things that guys do to try to get you to forget the pain that past relationships made you swore offa love.I thought that I was finish with all that. I thought that I would never forget how much it hurt. How much it felt like when you gave someone your trust, your love, your everything only to realize it was really one sided, and you were juss another challenge to the guy to see if he could get through to a place were you so strongly said you would never let anyone go ever again. He was right with one thing though, everything happens for a reason, and I needed this. I needed to remember this pain, so that I can remember the reason why the walls were up in the first place. You know what’s even more depressing? Knowing that I’m saying this, and I’m prolly going to forget it again. I wish that I can capture this feeling in a bottle and close it up, so that when I feel like I’m falling for a guy again, I can juss open up that bottle and inhale all the pain again, so that I won’t have to go through it again with another guy. I know that I can say, no more, no more, I don’t want to hurt no more, but in the end, I know one day in the future I’ll be sitting here again, writing again how I forgot about the pain. And goodness…I don’t want it anymore.  Why does life have to be so hard to get through? But hey, what can I do? I can smile and juss pretend that everything is alright, because there really isn’t anything that you can do but realize that everything happens for a reason and accept the fact that not everything is going to make you smile, but yet, I smile anyways…