Saturday, December 6, 2008

stressed.


Hello everyone…! Oh my goodness…life is so stressful. When I look back in my life it's hard to believe that I'm actually here now, when I still feel like being in third grade was not long ago. My goodness! Whoever thought that I would be here in the ..Philippines…my goodness! I never did. I wonder when my mom left the Philippines when she was still in her teens, if she would have guessed that her daughter would be coming back to the place that she left to go to school and to stay for a couple of years. Makes me wonder where MY child will be at this age and at this time—their time. My goodness…! What am I doing…I'm stressed out already, why am I thinking WAY into the future! *laughs*

So let me see, I am now the proud of owner of two cute lil kitties. Well, technically I am…my neighbor wants one, but I'm kinda hesitant to want to give him one since they are still nursing and stuff…and I asked him to take care of them once and they nearly starved. Their mom abandoned them, and my "friend" gave them to me saying that if I don't take them in, then she is going to leave them to die. Okay, now think about it…why are you gonna say that to me, "Take them, or they will DIE in HELL…" Her words exactly. I couldn't let it be on MY conscious that I didn't have a heart and I allowed them to die because I couldn't step up and take care of them. I mean, I did it with Miles, and now look at him…he's a huge cat, and you wouldn't think that he once was helpless to the world and was about to get runned over by some unsuspecting jeepney or tricycle driver…something that I could not let happen, so yep, I opened my heart…and took him in…and now Toby and Triszanah are also in my heart, because although it puts added stress to my stressful life…I love them already. You can really tell if they are crying if they are hungry, or want attention, or juss to hear themselves. It's funny because you can already tell that Toby is so "makulit" and Triszanah is a "person-pleaser." *laughs* They are so cute….they like to follow me, and it's funny because they are still wobbly on their feet and stuff. When I'm standing still they like to sit on my feet. When I'm sitting down, they will stand in front of me and meow and meow, and if my legs are dangling down…they like to use their sharp claws and try to climb up my leg! Them lovies have some SHARP claws! They like to follow me around and so sometimes I will pick one up and hold it…then it will climb up and sit on my shoulder and juss hang on with their SHARP CLAWS! And that is painful…but I love them…you can't help but love them. *laughs*

But my classes are going NOT good. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my classes, well the concept of the classes and stuff…but it juss frustrates me because the teachers are so accusing and they won't even get the full story before accusing someone of something. Like they tell us to get a client, and so I get a client, and after three weeks of doing nothing because we have to wait for them…they tell us that we are procrastinators and that we don't even care and that we should praise them and be thankful to them. I am thankful to them, but they put themselves on their own self-made pedestal…and they don't respect us for us…they only care for their own time…they say, "My time is precious to me." Well, so is mine, so why do they make us stay in one place doing nothing, because they are once again late, or they juss make us wait outside while they are working with a FEW classmates and we have to wait our turn, only to find out that they don't have TIME for us…or why do they tell us to do something, and then they don't follow through. I work my ass of for them, and they don't care, because of their own precious time…and I'm sick and tired of not getting any respect from them, when I give them respect. I have a hard time respecting someone, when they aren't respectful themselves. They are the ones who signed up to be teachers, so they really need to do their part in teach us instead of putting us down and accusing…for people who are supposedly MASTERS in being "people experts" they aren't doing a very good job in applying it in their life…they say to take "initiative" to get the key to open the door for the classroom…well, where I grew up, the teacher is suppose to be already there with the door open waiting for US…not the other way around…because it shows us that the teacher is serious. And also, I grew up learning that if the door is locked, then that means, your not suppose to enter the room…I mean, that is what it means to have a locked door. I don't know…they are so contradictory here in this country…it gets me so frustrated.

I'm not saying anything horribly bad about these people. I admire these teachers for pursuing their Masters and Doctorate in what they like…and I appreciate the fact that they are teaching us…but are they really teaching us what they want us to learn?! What I've learned is that you can't rely on the teachers…you have to kiss ass to get be on their good side…and they aren't good friends. I also learned that you can't have a life, and that if you are suffering you have to let other suffer. I also learned that if you are stressed out, take it out on your students…and also it's okay to be late, and then make up and excuse…but it's only okay if you're a teacher, but if you're a student, and you are late, then you're juss a bad person. Also, there is no such thing as emergencies…according to the teacher, if someone in your family dies…so what?! Go to class. Another thing, if you are sick, that's not an excuse, you go to class…oh but wait…if you're a teacher, then it's okay to be sick and stay home. I mean, hello!? They teach us that modeling is part of developing, so what do they think that they are modeling to us?! I mean, I respect that fact that they are driven in their work and that they have high ambitions…but that doesn't mean that everyone is up there with you. So why are you gonna be telling your students that you expected too much out of them because they are no where near your expectations. Well, excuse me maam!...we are only undergraduates and we learned in general psychology that being a psych major doesn't mean you can read minds…so why are you expecting us to read yours!? But thank you for thinking highly of us…really, thank you…but give me a break, you're trying to teach us stuff that your MASTER students can't understand…and then you get mad at US for not understanding. Doesn't make too much sense to me. If we want to continue with our masters AFTER we get our degree in Psychology, then we will. Oh, and I don't understand this one…you say to have "common sense…." Well, I think that we obviously have different "common sense"…this lady gets frustrated because we answered her wrong on how you can tell something is distant on paper. And whether or not something is small or very small…and she talks to us as if we are stupid and a hopeless cause. Uhm…common sense…if you speak to us if we were stupid or hopeless…then we are gonna get frustrated with you. EXPLAIN IT TO US! We are NOT little kids. If I told her…use your common sense and go long…Imma throw you a football…you think she could catch the ball without me explaining to her how…and telling her what "going long" means?! Or if I told her "use your common sense, play this music piece on the piano…" or "How can you not blow in the mouthpiece in the flute?! Use your common sense!!" "What do you mean, you don't know how to set the ball?! Use your common sense?!" Do you get my point…if you don't explain something…we can use our common sense, and it could be different from your's…but it is our own common sense, you don't gotta make us feel stupid if it's not the same as yours! For crying out loud…!! (and YES, I'm rolling my eyes right now!)

Oh okay…so now I feel bad for saying "bad" stuff about my teachers…but I'm not making anything up…it would be "talking shit" if it wasn't true…but it IS true. But oh okay…I admit, there are a few things that is good about them, like I will acknowledge the fact that they are nice to think and believe so high of us. It's good so that we can strive higher…but it's like now we are living YOUR dreams for US…instead of reaching our own. I also will acknowledge that you are teaching us stuff that is only for masters, and it is flattering that you honor us with this knowledge…but breath, okay?! You admitted that your master students didn't understand it…we are also learning. And although I admire you, we all do not have the same workaholic attitude like you do.

Oh yeah. And if you are friend…be a friend. If you are a teacher…be a teacher. That's all Imma say about that one.

Well, what else is there to vent about? Lol…wow, I really did juss vented huh?! Well, lets juss say that it could have been worst. *laughs* I guess in a way that was juss informing and stuff. *laughs*

Well, I got this lil book called The All Better Book that is written by Suzy Becker and "hundreds of kids." Basically it's this lady who asked kids different kind of questions, and they had their own way of answering, and it's actually really cute and makes you smile for the most part…some makes your heart hurt, other's juss makes you realize that kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit. You should get the book…or juss read it, it's not that long, it's a smallish book…Here, let me share some…

Question: "People always say, 'Life's not fair.' What's not fair about it?"
Children's answer: "It's not fair that friends are hard to keep and that they fade away"—Annie (8), "No one should be born with asthma"—Chris (7), "A chocolate ice cream sundae should be a vegetable so you could eat it with dinner."—Alexander (8).

Question: "How would you earthquake-proof your house?"
Children's answer: "Put slinkies under it. That way if it falls down it will bounce right back up." –Jonathan (8), "Wrap the house in jello so it will just shake and even if it feel down, it would still be okay."—Kelby (8), "Put a hot-air balloon on the roof that would lift your house into the air when the earthquake came."—Christie (8) "Cover the ground with tape so it wouldn't crack."—Geoff (8), "Glue all your stuff to the floor. If it gets really bad, glue yourself to the floor."—Sara, (8)

Question: "How do you fix someone's broken heart?"
Children's answer: "Sing a song. Stomp your feet. Read a book. (sometimes I think no one loves me so I do one of these.)"—Brian (8) "Give them some hug bubbles and love them very much."—Tiffany, (8), "Care for them. Share with them and play with them."—Shila (7) "I can take that heart out and put a new heart in. I would be really sad if my best friend had a broken heart."—Phu (8)

Question: "How can you make people feel better about themselves?"
Child's Answer: "If someone says to me, 'I feel that no one lines me,' I would say, 'Well, I like you and if the people don't like you, they're not the right people for you. But the people that think you're special are special. Because deep inside your heart—way inside—if you really feel deep down, you'll find that you're special."—Reem (8)

Question: It used to be that Russia and the United States were the most powerful counties, at the top of the World Order. Now, because so much has changed so fast, people are saying there will be a new World Order. Who should be at the top?
Children's Answer: "My parents. Then me, animals, reptiles and my little sister Becky."—Christina (7), "Kids, The president, Parents. TV. A tree." –Adee(7) "Kids, lambs, Me, My mom. Then my teacher."—Molly (7), "Kids, Chipmunks, Cats, dogs, frogs. Grown-ups, Cheetahs and rabbits."—Matt (6), "First snakes. Then me, George Washington, hogs and my cat."—Christopher (7)

Yep…that's only a sample…it's a really cute book…really! *laughs* It sure makes you smile. And I have learned that as long as I have something to smile about, then I'm going to be okay.

Well…Imma go back to doing research and reading, reading, reading research journals after research journals…if you know anyone who knows anything about "Parental Influence and Career Choices"…let me know!!

*hugs and kisses*

"To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold utopian dream. You do something to me…that I can't explain!! So would I be out of line, if I said…I miss you." (I Miss You by Incubus)

[Transferred from my myspace blog]