Thursday, September 18, 2008

Don't trust anyone.

So I have this neighbor that I'm actually pretty close with. He makes me laugh, because for some reason it's REALLY hot in my apartment and he's just next door and his place is noticeably a LOT cooler than mine. So I'm always over at his place. He's from Ethiopia and his room mate is fromAngola. I wanna go to Africa one day! *laughs* (I also want to go to Belizetoo! I wanna go snorkeling and scuba diving there!) Anyways, I can always count on him to offer me coffee, to let me go to his room and lay on his bed and watch a movie, and he never fails to remind me, "Don't trust anyone."

Don't trust anyone. I trust people. But this is what I have learned, the more you trust people, the more hurt you will get. I remember asking this question to my friend way back in 9th grade in Arizona, "Why does love hurt?" She told me because someone you hate can't hurt you, they can only make you hate them more or get you more angry, but they can't hurt you. But someone you love, you are vulnerable to them. I think that same thing goes with trust. When you trust someone, you are vulnerable to them.

There are two advices that two different guys have given me that I have really thought about. 1) Whenever you think you are in a bad situation, remember someone out there has it worst than you and 2) don't trust anyone. The first one my boyfriend told me. Me being in the Philippines away from home, away from everything that I have ever known, far, far, far away from my comfort zone—way far away from my comfort zone—puts everything in a whole new perspective. There has been so many tough times here where I thought that I can't go on, there has been so many times where I just wanted to give up, there have been so many times where I wanted to become anti-social because it hurts when a friend betrays you…but when I think that someone out there does have it worst than me, it doesn't really make me feel any better, but it does put things in a new perspective. I mean hey, yeah, being a foreigner can't be all that bad. It's pretty bad, but it's not the worst thing ever. I'm pretty lucky that I have my own place so that I can get away when being "out there" gets to be too hard.

The second advice my neighbor gave me. He was another one of those guys who thought I was fake when he first saw me. He was actually my classmate, and he told me that he has never met a girl…a person really who talked as fast as I did. *laughs* So, I changed a lot from being away from home…but I guess something that will NEVER change is the speed of which I talk. *laughs* Anyways, another person who assumes that I'm "super nice and friendly" because I want something…*laughs* why can't a person just be nice and friends without wanting something, anyways, he's my neighbor, and he has realized that I'm not fake, but being nice and friendly is juss who I am. I talk a lot and I'm friendly. *laughs* He told me…actually he even warned me from trusting him. He told me that once you trust someone, that person can hurt you—whether it is unintentionally or intentionally, you will get hurt by that person. I told him that I had trust issues…I think I trust to easily when it comes to making friends, and it is only when I get hurt will I never trust that person again. But when it comes to making a commitment with someone, it's hard for me. (Right Chris?! *laughs*) He said to keep it that way…always be cautious who I trust. And

I do think that he has a point there. My neighbor said that you can't get hurt if you're cautious with your trust. He also told me that he would never lie to me, but when I asked him how can I trust that since he told me not to trust him…he just laughed.

He also told me that I always leave my hair all over their floor! *laughs*

[Transferred from my myspace blog]