Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My lipgloss be popin'...whatchu know 'bout me?!

So the song that I'm really liking right now, well…there are two songs that I really, really like right now and that is "Bed" by J. Holiday and "Is it You?" by Cassie…yeah, Cassie sang that song for Step Up II…and did I like that movie?! Yeah, I love the dance scene's in that movie…it really got me pumped up, yep it did! *laughs*

So I officially hate summer classes. I don't like them at all…I'm down to taking only two classes though, because I had to drop my Chem with Bio lab…and so my afternoons are free. I wish that my classes were not at 7 in the morning though…because it's such a struggle to wake up in time for that class…and yes that one is the Chem with Bio lecture…and then my Philosophy of Adventist Education…and wow, I learned that there was a lot of things that I didn't agree on there…but it's okay…but then from 10:am onward I'm pretty much free with nothing to do. Well, I shouldn't say "nothing" because that's not true…I'm doing my homework…and I do have homework galore because it is summer classes and one day is the same as one week…so the teachers even give us a weeks homework in one day…yeah, I hate that…and then I am also teaching class for my Psychology Department…and still in the process of trying to make my new place feel like a "home" instead of juss a place to stay.

It sucks juss having your life revolve around school…but you all know me, I still get in my "socialness" in there…*laughs* sometimes I wonder if I can go more that 24 hours without talking to someone…I think that I can…well, I know that I can…I went through a stage (of a week or so) of only speaking to someone when spoken too, and direct answers…none of this talk-a-tive stuff…but then there was a reason to that…it was a defense mechanism of getting emotional hurt…and I juss shut down…I might be able to go 18 hours without talking to someone on a normal day…but then again, it wouldn't be a "normal day" would it!? *laughs*

Well, yesterday I went out with a couple of friends to town…and we had a lot of fun. Me and a friend left the group for a bit to talk some and then when we came back the group was playing BS….and that was a lot of fun…*laughs* I miss having juss laid-back fun…then we went out to eat…and since we were among friends, it was fun…then I had to go online to research for like 30 minutes…hung out a bit and then went back to my place…I really wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have any friends here…well, I know what I would do, I would make friends. J

Tomorrow is going to be an emotional day for me. My roomies are leaving for Thailand. Joyness might stay there and work there and JynJyn will come back and live in Manila and go take her master's there…I have always had a hard time saying goodbye…and I really don't wanna say bye…but I know that I have too, and there's nothing that I can do about it…I know that the next few days will be tough…but Imma stay strong and keep that smile on my face and maybe the pain of "losing" good friends will fade eventually, ya? "Saying goodbye makes me realize how much I care, how much I love, how much I miss and how much loss I have knowing that things will never be the same again…"

I think I need something to do to take up my time…and no decorating my house is not a good enough project…even though it is a project…and I do write a lot of letters to people…but I need something else to do…because decorating my house means that I have to be in the apartment and it's a reminder that I'm "alone" and you can only write so many letters before it becomes too much. I am teaching some…but not all the time…basically subbing that's it…and during the afternoon, most of my friends are in class still…

Well, I know that the kids at my complex like coming to my house so I end up "babysitting" them a lot…and actually it makes me smile…because I do have fun with them. I got them into loving bubbles *laughs*….and they like to draw pictures…but it gets old when they are knocking on my door 24/7 asking to come in…and sometimes they juss like to stare at what I'm doing…my homework, writing a letter, cleaning my room or something…they like to try reading what I write…and that irritates me…but I know that they can't understand English…and you all know how "difficult" it is to read my handwriting…well, it's not difficult per say…juss different…so kids who are juss learning how to read have a hard time reading it…*laughs* and when they see me cleaning up my room or house or something, they are always so helpful and want to help clean up…which I really don't mind…but then they really REALLY want to help clean to the point where they will fight because I don't have enough things for them to do…*laughs* The little boys make it their job to look around the house for cockroaches so that I won't get scared…but there hasn't been a cockroach in the house for a while now…and the girls make sure that my floor is swept…I feel bad though because they don't like being paid for what they do…I try buying them candy or something…but they won't take it…and if I juss leave it out there and tell them to get whenever they want…they won't all grab for it…like one bag of candy (50 pieces) will take them like at week to eat…and there are about 10 kids (from ages 3-10) that like to come over…not all at the same time though. They do know the rules though…knock before coming in…even if the door is open…no moving my letters/homework without permission…they can't watch a movie without asking me, they can't feed my fish without permission and they are absolutely not allowed to go on my bed or play with my darts…at all. Oh, and of course, shoes off in the house. They are pretty good with listening to me too…if they want to fight with each other, they have to leave…things like that…they behave like kids. *laughs* Well behaved, but loud and very roudy…

What else has been happening in my life…uhm…nothing much really…summer here like every other time here is very slow paced and extremely hot, hot, hot!!! I mean EXTREMELY hot…everyday feels like a day I should be at the beach. I like where I live there because there is a cool breeze and we have the river that runs out in front of our apartment complex…but it's not a river that you can swim though! At least, I wouldn't swim there! And I see no one else swim in there…but sometimes you can see the kids play where the water is slower and shallower…but that's not near where I live.
I had a water gun fight with a friend a week or so ago, and that was super fun and the cold water did feel good and I had fun. *laughs* Water gun fights are always fun…too bad they don't have proper water balloons here…that would have been a lot more fun! *laughs* it's more old school here with the bucket and cups and plastic bags! *laughs*

I'm doing a countdown…but I can't really tell you what day I'm at because I'm not 100% sure it it's correct…but I'm coming home soon! Yay! Oh gosh, I'm sooo looking forward to it so much. I'm really looking forward to it a lot…and I know that I can survive until then…and then home for awhile…and then I have to come back here…but I'm not gonna think of that part yet…*laughs* My mind is focused on home.

Home…I know that "home" is not what it was anymore. In my mind home is a memory and a times of the past. Not I realize that home is my family. Where ever my family is…that is where my home is…what was that saying!? "Home is where the heart is…" *laughs*…yeah, I love my family and they are what I associate home with…well, I use "family" as a really broad term…because that also includes my "close friends" *laughs* I count that as close family…but "home" is also a time and a memory for me…

Actually, it might be hard to imagine what I'mma say…but when I say home…here in the Philippines, it's the United States of America really…that's home…that big, broad place is home…because all I know is that here in the Philippines is NOT home…and when I tell people, "I want to go home." It's talking of the whole country of America…and thenCalifornia…that is home to me. And the people who make up "home" to me is there…now, if they move to some random place…I still would can California as my home! *laughs*

Well, I'm juss rambling again…as always…*laughs* and that's me…well, Imma go to the other apartment now and chill there for a bit…

"A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes in the smile on your face."

I miss you and love you muchoness!!! Yep! Yep! Yep! *laughs::smiles*

*hugs and kisses*


[Transferred from my myspace blog]