Sunday, January 13, 2008

I like Cherry Chapstick!


Random "Title" I know…*laughs*.and if you already knew me, you already knew that little fact!

It's the 13th of January and I have only posted up one other blog that wasn't really anything about how I'm doing and stuff…so since I have a few minutes to kill before I go to a group meeting, I though that I should write a few words to update all you people (JoeJ) who actually read this blog and stuff…

So you know that song "When It Was Me" by Paula DeAnda? Yeah, I'm listening to her song right now. I think that it would be awesome fun to make an album…juss to say that you did. I think I will put that on my "Things To Do Before I Die" list…hm…yeah, that would be fun, I think. I would write the songs and compose the music…I remember that I wanted to do that a long time ago…but who said that dreams have to die even though it was a dream from so long ago?! Yeah…I'll do that…doesn't mean that I'm gonna give the CD out and everything…maybe juss one for my own vain self to listen to the greatest voice on earth! *laughs* yeah right…jejeje….

Well…a new year is now here…and how were my holidays?! Well, lets juss say that I would NEVER recommend staying here at my apartment for the holidays. I had three choices actually on where to stay for the holidays. Here, in Bulacan with my mom's family or go to Neuva Viscaya with Eddie (he would go if I went)….I wasn't so hot on going back to my mom's family since I don't really get along with them…they are nice people and all…but we are WAY different than each other, and last year was a total nightmare for me, and going to Neuva Viscaya…uhm…I was like "Eddie if you go, then I'll go." Ended up I stayed here. Eddie parents came here…and it was either spend time with them, or go to Neuva Viscaya…and even though it would only be 3 days that I could hang out with Eddie's parents…or 2 weeks in Viscaya…I choose to stay here because I knew Eddie's parents…and trust me, after being away from home for so long, you want to be close to "home" for as long as you can, and if anyone from "home" comes here, it's a big excitement because it's like having a piece of "home" here…and I would like to say that I'm pretty close with my Auntie, and so that's pretty cool. (Did you see the picture I posted up with my auntie and me?! Those were only two of the millions of pictures we took…it was funny actually…but yeah.)

Well, lets see…my roomies (next "wall" neighbor's) actually left for ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />BangkokThailand on the 13thof December…and didn't return until the 06th of January. So kawawa ako (poor me) I had to be myself in my apartment for 3 weeks and 2 days. I don't really like being alone in a place that doesn't feel like "home" because that's juss who I am. I mean, I had my fish…(*laughs* I love my fish, so shut up! *smiles*)…but that's a lot different than actually having someone here to talk with, withOUT having to talk to yourself. Hm…I have time, I'll juss tell you the story of that day they left. So they left on a Thursday. Suppose to be at 2:30pm. This was preliminary week…and so we have exams this whole week. They got finished with their exams before Thursday, so they were good. I still had exams that day so it sucked because I couldn't even take them to the airport. So my classes were from 7:30am-12:pm and then 2:30-7:pm….so I went to class in the morning already dreading the rest of the day. My roomies are procrastinators when it comes to packing (like me!! J)…and so when I got home at 12:pm…they were doing last minute packing…and then Eddie came to say bye to Jyn…and that was SUPER sad, since I hate saying bye and I hate seeing people who love each other say bye as well, because I know how they feel like and it sucks…Jyn started crying when Eddie left…he had an exam, an so he had to leave at 1:pm…he ate at the house…so there were sniffles all over the house when he left. I don't usually like crying in front of people…so I "went to sleep" for awhile…and then at 2:pm…Joy had to go out somewhere really quick…and then I "woke up" to say bye to her since by the time she came back I had to be already gone for my class. I give myself 15 minutes to walk to class…but in reality it takes like 25 minutes! But usually what happens is that one of my friends see me walking and those friends usually have a car or a motor bike and they give me a ride (jejeje…friends are SO good to have!) Anyways…my class that I have to go to was my Reading and Speech class…and since it was exam week, our exam for that was that we had to deliver a speech…hm…I wanna tell you about this class! I will…but after I tell you about this day, okay?! Okay, well anyways…I didn't want to go to class…because me and Jyn were in tears…and you know that hiccupping that you get when you are crying?! Yeah, I was at that stage…and so that sucked superness and stuff…! Anyways, I ended up going to class super late, and my friend Tony saw me, so he ended driving me to class…oh my goodness…I was teary and stuff…but I'm pretty good with fighting tears…but no matter what I do, it's still really obvious that I was crying or on the verge on crying…but Tony's cool so he wasn't all trying to ask what was going on. Anyways…the teacher was a few minutes late so I wasn't late or anything, but I really didn't want to do my speech that day. But since I was the only "English-speaking" person in class, I was the "example" for everyone…and so I had to go first…the thing that sucked when I was about to go up, I got a text, and I read it and it was from my roomies saying that they were leaving the apt. now and that they were on their way to the airport. Oh gosh, that took so much to not start crying because I was literally on my way up to the front of the class to deliver my speech. Like I said though, I don't like crying in front of people, but you can still tell that I'm fighting tears since my eyes are so watery and stuff. And then when I get up there, the teacher sees that and says, "Are you okay? Do you want to do you speech next time?"

Okay here's a note to everyone…if you see me fighting tears DON'T ASK ME IF I'M OKAY…because it's SO obvious that I'm not, and the way I don't cry is that I force myself to think of something else…and the question "are you okay?" makes me think why it's NOT okay….so don't ask me…if I want to tell you I will tell you…later, but not now! But I'm not a person who likes to give up TOO easily…and I know that my classmates are counting on me to give my speech, because no one wants to go first, and I would rather go first (and plus, you'll realize why no one wanted to go first later).

So I gave my speech, with no tears and later on my teacher came up to me and told me that I was a very good "actress" material because it was so obvious that when I went up there, I was fighting tears, but when I started my speech, she said that I changed and it was like as if everything was "okay."…jejeje…that's when my personality on being a "performer" comes in. *laughs*

Anyways, that whole day was juss horrible for me, because first of all at 7:pm, it's already dark, and I usually text Joy or Jyn to walk with me home if they are still on campus or to pick me up before Rape Street…but they were gone, so what was I going to do at 7:pm this time?! And I was juss so sad because I didn't want to go home to an "empty" house…but then my cousin, Eddie called me and told me that he was going to pick me up after class so that I didn't have to walk in the dark by myself and didn't have to go to Rape Street myself. And so after class he picked me up, and since he lives really near me, I ended up going to his house, and since he has a piano, I ended up playing the piano…and that brought me back, since before I came here to the Philippines…playing volleyball and playing the piano use to relax me and take my mind away from everything that was stressing me out, frustrating me, or making me sad. So I stayed there until like around 9:pm playing the piano…and then at 9:pm…Eddie brought me home, and he ended up staying there, and we cooked spaghetti since I LOVE spaghetti…and we watched movies until I felt really sleepy and then he left like really late, so when I went to sleep I was too sleepy to think that I was alone. And that was my first day being alone for my break.

Wow! That was pretty long…juss telling you about my one day…! But it's okay, since I haven't written in here for such a long time, yeah?! J

Anyways, my Christmas wasn't the best in the whole world…me and Eddie and my other friend Andy wanted to have an "American" dinner…and so we ended up buying these really REALLY good hotdogs, and Eddie's parents had brought Chili Beans with beef chunks, and pancakes from home. (I LOVE pancakes…but I love waffles more!) Oh, yeah…and I can't forget the Macaroni and Cheese! And so we ended up cooking these foods and watching movies all night long. (This was on Christmas Eve) and then on Christmas day…me and Eddie ended up going to the mall because that was the most festive place…and we wanted to get in the Christmas mood…

New Years…was practically the same thing…except we saw fireworks…but it was pretty different because since fireworks aren't illegal here, we were IN THE MIDDLE of the FIREWORKS…and we were actually lighting some of them…it was crazy and scary…because at anytime I thought the pile of fireworks were going to blow up since there was fire all over the place!! It was so awesome and cool though. After that…I went to Eddie place again and juss played the piano again and watched movies again…

(Ooo! I gotta go to the meeting now…I'll write more later!)

Okay, so now I'm back from my "meeting"…which didn't happen! Which really irritates me, because of the "Filipino Time" and stuff…so everyone came late…oh wait…let me rephrase that…all us foreigners…me, this guy name Brian from Africa and this one Indo chick…from (doh!) Indonesia were there on time…but then this one Filipina chick came 30 minutes late and the rest of the 10 people in our group didn't come at all…so now we have to meet again tomorrow at 5:00pm…which irritates me since I hate walking in the dark and going through Rape Street when it's dark and it gets dark here starting 5:00 and then it's DARK at 5:30pm…but yeah, I have great housemates who will get me before I have to walk through Rape Street, but still…my goodness! That's really irritating! Well, so we had our "meeting" at Friendship Park, which is right behind the Science Annex, which is the Psychology Department, and so Jyn was there, and so I met up with her after her class (yeah, she has class on Sunday! Sucks) and then we went to the market to buy banana-q and tarron…yummy…tarron is my favorite…with Lanka (jackfruit)…so good! So yeah…anyways…we're back now and I'm listening to Beyonce's Irriplaceable….and so yeah…

Anyways, I need to tell you about this pointless class that I have to take since it's a general class here in the Philippines. I think that it's also a general class at home, but it's a speech class…but it's NOTHING like this class I know it! Okay…so this class teaches you how to speak English…like the phonics and how you say things…my goodness…makes you analyze how you talk…that's what everyone does with me! Since I already speak "proper" English…I'm always the example. You know the short /i/ sound?! Yeah, they don't have that sound in Tagalog, so they have a hard time doing that sound…like…fish…they pronounce it "feesh" or even shit…they say "sheet"…it's kinda funny…but then the class gets SO boring when the teacher says the word and then you have to repeat it. And then the tests are like, you have to read these sentences in front of class…like "Is that a ship?" and then since I have "perfect" English…the teacher is always asking me how do you say this, how do you say that?! And then the exams, you have to do a speech. In "perfect" English…see, like I say, this class is so pointless…we had a whole class period of different words ending in "p"…because you can say "stop" two ways…you say the word and you keep your mouth closed at the end or you can say the word and you part your lips at the end! And then another class on the difference between "p" and "f" and also "v" and "b"….yeah the class really drags…And when we have to say the sentences in front of class, everyone including the teacher is asking me, "how do you say _______word?" And it's words your don't even think of…like "lettuce," "huge," "teething," "booth" and they literally watch your mouth and make you say the word SOOOO slow…it's funny…because I like to help people, and I know that I help some Koreans here speak English, but then this class is SO pointless for me…the teacher was pronouncing "tabernacle" like "ta-bur-nah-cul" with the accent on the "bur" and "heard" like "hear-dah"…and I was like "REALLY?!?" Then she asked me after class if that is how you pronounced it…but who am I?! I don't really even know…I juss know it. Because I grew up with it…but I don't say "tabernacle" everyday or something. So how could I be 100% sure about it?! Oh and testimony…was pronounced "tes-tee-moe-nee" with the accent on "tee"…but like I say…how do I know that I'm even pronouncing it right? But the class is okay…and easy "A" for me. I think that this is a class that shouldn't be required for people who's first language is "English" because it really does feel like I'm the one teaching the class. Nothing wrong with the teacher though…the teacher is really nice and stuff. I like her…she likes me…and so we all get along. *laughs* naw though…I hate it when teachers have favorites though…because I juss don't like it.

So here's the deal. I have one life, ya?! And me and Eddie were talking about how there are times in our life where events happen and people come into your life, and if you say no, that opportunity to join in an event or go to an event or to meet someone might only come in your life only once, and that would be a complete waste to say "no" and lose that opportunity do something/meet someone that could have been a literally once in a lifetime opportunity…so I was thinking about it…and although I do say "yes" to a lot of stuff…I have also been saying "no" to things that I should have said "yes" too, and it's because either I was too scared to try, or I was too lazy to get my ass up, or I juss didn't feel like doing whatever or something like that…I doubt that being here in the Philippines is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, since I will be coming back here when I leave here again and stuff…but then it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to school here…because I KNOW that once I'm graduated from here, I'm not going to school anymore—at least here! I don't want too! But since this is my only opportunity, I have to make it the best that it can be.

Both Eddie and I are so homesick for home, for family, for friends…and juss for the States in general…since it's SO much easier to live there than it is here…! But we realize that we can always return home no matter what happens. In the end we will always be able to go home…and who knows when the next time we will be here in the Philippines…seeing the people that we see here right now. So we are trying to always plan outings with friends. The thing is…we have A LOT of foreign friends…a lot of the natives here are sorta intimidated with our "ways." They are a lot more conservative here…and everything has to be planned and stuff. I mean everything is planned. I don't see why though because they are always running BEHIND the time anyways!! And for me if something is planned, I get irritated when things are not ON times, since we did take time to PLAN things out…but I'm a pretty flexible person…and I don't really like planned things…because the spontaneous things can be more fun then the planned things. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I think that planned events that are flexible are fun too!

So during Christmas break, I have decided to start a new sport. Darts…I think that it's called a "matchbox sport" or something like that…but it's a lot of fun. So since I was planning to go out and buy me a dart board and darts…Eddie juss got me one for Christmas…and here is the first thing that we have learned…NEVER play with the darts that the board comes with. They suck. They are so light and you have to throw it VERY hard to have them stick to the board! But Eddie had bought me really good darts to play with too…and so they are a lot easier to throw and aim with too. So…for me the heavier darts are easier to handle. And every person has their own way to throw a dart. Trust me, Eddie's way of throwing a dart is A LOT different than how I throw my dart. And it takes time to find what works for you. Eddie has gotten into darts now…it's actually very fun. We play a lot…and during break we would stay up late playing…juss one more game! It's funny because it's always "juss one more game!" okay…I promise this is the last game…or we'll play until I beat you! Or something…it's fun. And for me, since I can't play volleyball anymore to release my anger, frustrations or unfair's in life…throwing a dart is a good way to release anger. Because believe it or not…it's a game that you have to play calmly, or it's gonna go all wrong and stuff…I think that's why I like playing…because you have to be relaxed and calm when you play so if I'm upset, it forces me to calm down. That's why I like playing the piano when I'm upset, because that also calms me down.

I remember we use to have like 3 dart boards when I was younger at home, and me and my brother would mess around and "try" to play, and we really didn't know what we were doing…but yeah, it does take skills and stuff…and the aiming is so hard to do at first! I have to admit though that Eddie is a lot better than me in the game 501…but I can beat him at our improvised version 21! *laughs* but one day I will beat him at 501. The only rule for me though, is that you can't throw a dart if someone is in my room…because my room is small…what we do is…the dartboard is on the far side of my room…the opposite of my door…and you have to be about 7 feet away from the board…so that's juss about to where my door is…and so since my room IS small…we juss can't throw a dart if someone is in the room…because the dart can ricochet off the medal part of board and hit you. Yeah, my room is that small that that can happen. It has already fallen inside one of my fish tanks by doing that! I'd be so sad if my fish got hurt…but they didn't get hurt…maybe a little scared, but that's it.

"If I could, then I would, I'll go where ever you will go, way up high, or down low, I'll go where you will go. Run away with my heart, run away with my hope, run away with my love." I LOVE this song by The Calling. I might juss learn this song on the piano or the guitar and sing it…I really like this song a lot. But yeah…it's playing now. *laughs*

Well, this week, starting tomorrow it's already midterms! My goodness how this school year is passing by so fast! I can't wait until it's over. I'm sad that I won't be able to go home this summer…but then I'll be going home in October, and so that's good. But it seems that October is SO far away…but then again, I'm happy because when I go home I'll be able to celebrate my brother's birthday, my parents anniversary, my daddy's birthday, AND my sister's wedding! I'm not sure if she announced the exact date of her wedding, so I can't say when I'm coming home…or else that might give it away for when her wedding is…I might have already said to much by saying that it's going to be in October…or I could be totally out of the loop and my sister already sent their "save the date" memo's and stuff! But anyways…I think I'm gonna get there the night before the wedding, so I'm gonna have to really fight my jet lag…but I'm gonna be home for about a month since my brother's birthday is on the 7th and my dad's is on the 30th and I plan to be home for both birthdays! J Look at me, all excited for something that's going to happen in about nine more months…but trust me, this event is really keeping me from giving up…because in less than a year I get to go home and see all of you again (well, those of you who are from home that are reading this! J) But as I was saying, yeah, midterms are starting tomorrow…and that's going to be a lot of fun *sarcastic* but then after this week…next week we don't have any classes again since it's going to be sports week. I didn't join any sports this year…because I juss didn't…but I might be a last minute sign up for volleyball, we will see. Our semester ends in March…and that's only 3 more months away…well technically we only have about 8 ½ more weeks of school for this semester…my goodness! I so can't believe how fast this year has gone by. I wish that I was going home this "summer" break. Yeah…summer is March-May here…and I wish that I could go home again. But I won't think about it. But feel free and come visit me! J

I can really do with some applesauce and blueberries right now. And some strawberries with sugar or whip cream. Or blackberries and raspberries…and cherries…I really miss berries! And apples and applesauce. They have apples here, but they aren't as good as they are at home…and I remember I would always cut my apples up and eat them…with honey or not…oh! I miss putting honey in the refrigerator and eating the hardened honey! I think I'm the only one that I know who does that! …*laughs* gosh, I miss that…but I really miss my applesauce and blueberries a LOT! Oh and baby carrots. The foods that I miss! *laughs* Oh and Peach Yogurt, oh I need to stop it now! Oh one more…Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal! And can't forget OH's and Honey Bunches of Oats and cinnamon pop tarts! Thai Tea, strawberry lemonade and country fried steak and cold stone and Baskin' Robins! Crushed ice, honey b-b-q sauce, BARBEQUE! And I can NOT miss the Burrito Truck with their MASSIVE burritos that I simple adore! Grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese quesadillas, CHEESY CHEESY nachos! Blueberry waffles and Popeye's Biscuits! YUMMY! Kraft's Cheese, Arby's Sandwiches…oh and Guines! Big Red gum (can you believe that they don't have any here in the Philippines and that's my all time FAVORITE gum…good thing my mom sent me some…but I'm running out now!) Oh! I can't forget my mom's pizza bread! And vegetable lasagna from CostcoOH! And Costco's food court! The HUGE pizza's and polish hotdogs and chicken bake and the very berry smoothie and mocha freeze! Little Cesar's crazy bread, Super Taco Rita (is that how you spell it?!), Strings. Those cheese burger's from Costco and hot pockets! GUMMY BEARS and Sour gummy worms, sour strips! Oh, and I really miss Fresh Choice! *laughs* oh okay…I will stop now. Oh okay…here is really one more…! *laughs* Razzmatazz with Energy boost from Jamba Juice! YUMMY!!

Wow, I really miss home a lot. Not only the yummy food and the things that I use to do and stuff…but I really miss you…my peeps, my friends, my family. I have pictures of you all over my room…it's like "home" if you come to my room because you know how I love to decorate my room until it's very "homie" like and stuff…yeah, that is my room and that is how my room is right now…even though it's small…it's very comfy and home-like with pictures of family and friends and stuff all over. Sometimes I really do juss wanna give up and go home already…especially now since I really wish that I can help my sister with her wedding plans. More than anything I wish that I can be there for my sister when she needs advise or something about her wedding…I mean, that's what a "Maid of Honor" is for, yeah? I don't really deserve that title…but that's her choice…and gosh, I would juss be very happy to see her again. I miss my sister and brother a lot. So very much. Okay, next topic or else I will start tearing up because I really do miss everyone back home a lot.

Okay…this is getting really really really long…I think if I ever change, I would stay the same in the fact that I like to talk a lot! *laughs* Sometimes I wonder how it would be like if I had amnesia! I have read stories where the person's memories of who they are or their memories of events and people never come back, and they are a completely different person than who they were before. I wonder how I would be like?! Quiet?! Shy?! Anti-social?! My goodness! That would be so weird! I can't imagine that would even be me! To be completely opposite of who I am right now would be really uhm…different…no more singing, no more laughing a lot, no more joking around a lot. I wouldn't be as curious about things and I won't be animated anymore. I would be scared to try new things, I wouldn't be family orientated, I would hate writing people, and I would LOVE the dark. I wonder if I would FEAR the light! *laughs* Hm…that would SO NOT be me…I hope that I would never have to find out what I would be like though.

Well, I best go now, this is already really really really long now. And I'm surprised you even read this far in my ramblings of whateverness! *laughs* Well, I love you for reading this far…and whoever you are, I miss you!

*hugs and kisses*

[Transferred from my myspace blog]