Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dartboard English


So my cousin got this little book at National Book Store….no, I take that back…from Power Books from here in the Philippines during Christmas break. And I remember when I was going through it, I was hella laughing….and then I forgot about it, and then he brought it to our apartment yesterday so that the girls can read it, because it's funny…and so I saw it again, and I thought that I would share some of the laugher with you too! Okay, let me explain the book. It's called "The More the Manyer!" and it's a book that has "Filipino phrases"….and you know how incorrect them Filipino's can speak, and it's hella funny, ya?! Well, the author calls is Dartboard English, because basically he explains it "rather than run to the dictionary, a Pinoy would happily use the word on which his errant linguistic dart lands, regardless of how far off the mark he is." If you don't get what that means now…you will when you read some of the examples from the book, I will write…because my goodness…I know that I hear it all the time, and it takes everything in me to not correct them here in the Philippines…! And if you're a 1st generation Filipino there at home, tell me if you notice your parents saying some of these phrases sometimes! Sometimes they say something in Tagalong—and so translated it's so uhm…horrible English! (not saying that I have perfect English. J)*laughs* Here goes: (OBVIOUSLY, the words in quotations are how the native Filipino's say it...the correct way also written afterwards) –oh and I'm not saying that ALL natives speak like this…okay…NOW here goes! J :

"Don't judge me. I'm not a book" – Don't judge a book by its cover.

"I'm only human nature." – I'm only human. It's only human nature.

"Sinabi ko nang huwag pumunta doon, pumunta ka pa rin. Ngayon tingnan mo!" (I told you not to go to, and you still go to. Now look at!) – Plain Bad English!

"First and for all…" – First of all… Once and for all….

"Take things first at a time." – Take things one at a time.

"Go down slow by slow." – Go down slowly.

"Do your stuff in quiet." – Do your work quietly.

"So far, so good…so far." – So far, so good….

"Sabi ko na nga be, e!" (That's what I'm talking about it!) – That's what I'm talking about!

"Thanks and advanced!" – Thanks in advance!

"Forget it about it! What are friends are for?" – Forget about it/Forget it! That's what friends are for/What are friends for?

"Looks family." – Looks familiar.

"Don't touch me not!" – Don't touch me!/Touch me not!

"What is the world is coming to?" – "What is the world coming to

"It's as brand as new!" – It's brand new!

"When it rains, it's four." – When it rains, it pours.

"Every cloud has a silver lightning." – Every cloud has a silver lining.

"It's a blessing in the sky!" – It's a blessing in disguise.

"If worse comes to shove… -- When push comes to shove…

grab the bull by the balls!" –  Grab the bull by the horns!/ Grab (someone) by the balls!

"Time is of the elements." – Time is of the essence.

"Don't just do something! Stand there!" – Don't just stand there. Do something!

"My answers have been prayered!" – My prayers have been answered!

"The feeling is actual." – The feeling is mutual.

"You're barking at the wrong dog." – You're barking up the wrong tree.

"You hit the nail on the coffin." – You hit the nail on the head. / That was the last nail on the coffin.

"Don't change anything! Keep it at ease." – Don't change anything! Keep it as is.

"Are you joking my leg?" – Are you joking? / Are you pulling my leg?

"Where there's a will, there's a water." – Where there is a will, there is a way.

"Birds of the same feather…are the same bird." – Birds of the same feather flock together.

"That's the way the cookie jars." – That's the way the cookie crumbles.

"That's the way the ball games." – That's the way the ball bounces.

"Tell me who your friends are…and I'll tell you mine." – Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who YOU are.

"Nothing in the world is perfect except the word 'change.'" – Nothing in the world is constant except change. / Nobody is perfect.

"Well, well, well. Look do we have here!" – Well, well, well, what do we have here?

"So…what's a beautiful girl like you?" – So…what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?

"Come let's join us!" – Come, join us!

"Tama na trabaho. (We're done with work.) Let's call it tonight!" – We're done with work. Lets call it a night!

"And where do you think you are off too running to?" – And where are you off to now? /And where are you running off to now?

"I don't know to you!" – I don't know with you!

"It's up for you." – It's up to you!

"As if you're somebody!" – Plain Bad English

"I don't care a damn!" – I don't care. / I don't give a damn!

"You're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!" – You're not a boy anymore! You're a man!

"How dare are you!" –  How dare you! / There you are!

"Please me alone!" – Please leave me alone!

"It's not my problem anymore. It's your problem anymore!" – It's not my problem anymore! That's your problem!

"I can't take it anymore of this!" – I can't take it anymore! / I can't take anymore of this!

"What's your next class before this?" – What's your next class? / What's your class before this?

"I always go there sometimes!" – I always go there. / I go there sometimes.

"Can you repeat it again for the second time once more?" – Could you please repeat that?

Okay…well, that's all I feel like writing…but in actuality there are a lot of those! And they are so funny. I'm not saying that I have perfect grammer/English…because I know that I'm far from it…for crying out loud…I still say, "Open the lights, please!" or "Can you higher the volume?!" And if someone wrote about my Filipino grammer…my goodness! I think I'll be laughing along with you too! Well, anyways, juss wanted to share a bit of laughter with you and I miss you all so much!

*hugs and kisses*

[Transferred from my myspace blog]