Right now I am sitting on the floor of my room typing on my laptop this next blog that I'm going to post up on myspace…and I'm listening to Linkin Park's newest album Minutes To Midnight and I'm listening to my favorite song on it, Leave Out All The Rest, it's one of the main songs that I want to play at my funeral. So yeah, remember that everyone, okay…when I die, I want this song to play at my funeral, my roomie Joy already knows to play it…*laughs* we have lists of songs that we want to play for different occasions in our life. Like we already have our wedding playlist and our funeral playlist and so on…actually only those two lists. *laughs*
Well, school has already been happening for less than a month, and I have never been so busy in a long time! And this is school-wise busy…not socially busy…only school-wise busy..! My schedule is so tiring as well, I always come home and sleep for like 2 hours and then wake up and do my homework. Can you imagine that?! I actually sit down and do my homework without procrastinating it! Wow, I have improved for the better! *laughs* maybe it's because it's something that I want to do, rather something that I was pushed into doing.
I do believe in a healthy balance of school work, social life and "my" time for myself…but then so far it has only been school work. Since I fought to do what I want to do, I want to prove to those who don't think that I can do it that I can actually do it. I thought that I would have less pressure because I don't have to be doing my hardest because I needed to "please" someone, but now I have even more pressure because I need to prove to those same people that I can do it, even if I feel like they aren't supporting me. I know that they are supporting me, but sometimes I feel like I'm alone here.
I wish that I can say that things have finally settled down in life, but I guess I can't say that. School work makes my life jump around and makes me feel as if I have so much to do, and 24 hours isn't enough to do it all. I have classes from 7:am-7:pm on Mondays and Wednesdays, and on Tuesday's I have only one class from 9:am-10:30am…but then the rest of the day I am doing the homework that is due the next day…and in-between all that I'm trying to stay in contact with my friends, but I'm finding it that it's getting harder and harder because using the "Oh sorry! I can't right now because I'm doing my homework" is starting to sound like an excuse to not want to hang out and I don't wanna lose my friends here, because they help me when I feel like I can't go on. So I guess I can't really win.
Oh and another disturbing thing that has come to my attention…well, let me throw it out to you first…which is worst, a fake person-someone trying to hard to be "popular" or a snob-someone who is "above it all"? When I first got here, I was really friendly, myself, and juss yeah, that friendly…then I would get people saying that I was a fake because I'm "unnaturally friendly?!" What is that?! I don't wanna say sorry for being a friendly person, so I'm not going to, but what is so wrong with being friendly, what is wrong with smiling at someone even if you don't know them, what is wrong with introducing yourself to your classmates when no one else is going to? Nothing, at least that is what I think, but I guess it comes off as being trying-to-hard, fake person. Gosh, why didn't they teach you this is preschool? How to be friendly, but not to friendly so that you won't be called fake…because that cuts deep. So, I am a lot more withdrawn...oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still that very hyper active person, that likes to make a difference in someone's life-positively!, and that chicka that "never" has a problem in her life, but that is only to people who I already know…I don't do as much random stuff any longer, like introduce myself to people randomly, or say hi randomly or smile randomly…so now what am I? A snob because of it. Yep…I can never really win. Oh well…
I know that I can't really complain about my situation, I chose it for myself. I could have been home right now. I believe in free-will…but sometimes I wonder…what the hell am I doing. What am I doing? *laughs* I juss said that I wouldn't complain, so what am I doing now?! Whoops…my bad. *laughs*
Well, it's been raining a lot lately…in the morning, it would start out all nice and warm and perfect weather, and then by 4 in the afternoon it gets all rainy…and I'm always stuck out in the rain…but you know what? Even though I hate it when my hair is wet…it's actually very relaxing walking in the rain. For some reason, people here think that they are going to melt if they are gonna get wet…so even if it's juss sprinkling, they are running for cover, but it's different here. At home, when it rains, it's FREEZING cold and it's hard to breath because you are shivering and shaking. Over here, it's always warm weather, I think that it's possible to go all year long without every wearing a jacket…but I know that I wear a sweater because that's the thing about it…even when it's raining, it's not that cold, but then if you go around not wearing something "warm" and you get wet from the rain, you are going to get sick…but yeah…it's a different feeling walking in the rain with no need of a jacket. Because it rains even harder than it does at home…but the difference is, you really don't feel that cold. Oh, don't get me wrong though, it's miserable to walk in since we have to wear certain shoes to class, and that is uncomfortable…but in all seriousness…it's all good.
Hm…what can I say, not much since all is juss busy with school work and stuff…oh, my mom called me the other day, and that made me cry…because I know that I have disappointed her with my change of major's and it was really really good to hear her voice again and have a conversation with her that didn't end up with one of us angry and the other crying. My sister is now planning out her wedding plans. That's really awesome…and I'm so happy for her. My regret? I can't help her plan it…I do wanna be a wedding counselor, at least get my certificate, I think that it would be fun…but in all honesty, I doubt that she would want my help at all much…maybe on the little things, but yeah, I totally understand though, I think that she has talent to be a wedding counselor if ever she wanted to be one…she is really good with the things that concerns weddings and stuff…and she prolly doesn't even know it. But my goodness…I'm super happy for her and her fiancée.
She told me that she got a dog with Kuya Neal, and her name is Ginger, I don't even know what kind of puppy it is…all I know is that they got a dog…she said that she would send me pictures…but I haven't gotten any yet…so that really sucks…oh well, I'll get to see her when I come home for her wedding. *laughs* that is funny to say, her "wedding"…my sister is getting married…it's a pretty cool thought.
I wanna get a puppy, and my friend said that her dog is gonna have puppies, and I could have one if I wanted…and it's gonna be ½ Lab ½ Pit Bull…and I really want one, but I don't live alone and so I have to respect my roomies wants as well, and they don't want one. So wishing isn't gonna help here. Plus, I can't even have Miles (my cat) what makes me think that I can have a dog. I do have my fish though. Five of them…two blue gourami's – Donatello and Trissana, two bala sharks – Johnny Bravo and Leonardo, and one angelfish—Rafael. (And before you ask, yes, I did have a "Michelangelo" but Donatello killed him. *sob*) My roomies also have a fish, they have a beta fish named Shia. I'm saving up for a bigger fish tank for my fish. I call them my "cherubs" *laughs*. But I sure do miss my Baili Dru (my pit bull at home) and Precious (my cat)….they are in good hands though, I know that…they BETTER be! *laughs*
Oh yeah, before I forget, I promised Eddie that I would say something about this, there is this new site that is the first Filipino internet network thingy thing thing…I'm not really sure what it's the first Filipino thingy, but it's one of the first Filipino thing. *laughs* anways you should visit it, it's www.projectube.com …anyways…it's supposedly really big…and guess who they are endorsing?!?! The Adobo Boys!!! Yeah, that would be Eddie's movie-making group! You know Eddie's "Ghost at Finister" movie, yeah, it was front page and Eddie's face is RIGHT THERE! And I guess they got a lot of positive feedback and so they have asked Eddie to make more Video's for them…oh, they are giving Eddie the credit though, and so yeah…go check out that site and support it okay?! Yeah, that would be cool…*smiles*
Anyways…have any of you people watch the TV series called Monk, oh my goodness! You SO need too! It will make you frustratedly, madly, laugh so hard that you will be referring to it for a long time! My goodness, it's everything not to tell my roomies and Eddie what is going on, because between my busy-ness life, I watch one episode of Monk to make me laugh and see the happier side of life, because that show is so funny! I am liking Hero's too…but seriously everyone, watch Monk…it's setting is also in Frisco…so it's pretty cool…*laughs*
Well, I better go now, it's almost lunchtime, and I need to start cooking for lunch. I haven't eaten for more than a day now because I didn't have a chance to eat yesterday since I was too busy to stop and eat, and when I came home I was so tired with a huge headache that I juss knocked out on my bed…so Imma cook because my stomach is hella growling and eating itself now…I think I'll also make yemma today. *smiles*
I miss you all so much, and I love you muchoness!!! ::hugs and kisses::