"Thank you for this moment. I've gotta say how beautiful you are. Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for, here you are. If I could have dance forever, I would take you by the hand. Tonight it's you and I together, I'm so glad I'm your man. And if I lived a thousand years, you know, I'd never could explain, the way I lost my heart to you that day. But if destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know the greatest story every told, and did I tell you I love you tonight? I don't hear the music when I'm looking in your eyes. But I feel the rhythm of you body close to mine. It's the way we touch it sends me, it's the way we'll always be. Your kiss, your pretty smile you know I'd die for, oh baby, you're all I need. And if I lived a thousand year, you know I'd never could explain, the way I lost my heart to you that day. But if destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know the greatest story ever told, and did I tell you I love you, just how much I really need you, did I tell you that I love you tonight? And if I lived a thousand years, you know, I'd never could explain, the way I lost my heart to you that day, but if destiny decided I should look the other way, then the world would never know the greatest story ever told, and did I tell you that I love, jus now much I really need you, did I tell that I love you tonight?"
Now, how romantic would it be if some guy dedicated that song to me…and REALLY meant it…I don't want that song to be dedicated to me unless he REALLY meant it, and not only to be "romantic." *laughs* but what am I saying…I don't even want a boyfriend or something, but I still think that it would be super romantic and sweet. *laughs*
You know what really annoys me? Is that sometimes I know that I'm super nice, and it's hard for me to be mean to someone. Like if someone needs me to be there, to help them, and stuff…I always try to be there, I go out of my way to be there, even though at that moment, I can't…and then I'll even not do my homework in order to "be there" for them…and then I have to stay up late (sometimes not even going to sleep, knowing that I have a full day the next time)… But when I need someone to be there, no one is there…they give me all this fake bull shit promises and then they don't come true…they'll say, "yeah, I'll be there, Che…" and then they will text me the last moment and say, something came up, I can't make it, and so I'm left hanging, and then I get so mad and then I say in my mind that the next time they need…WANT me to be there for them, I'm not going too…but then when the time comes and they need me, I juss can't turn away…I really hate that about myself…being to sympathetic…because I know how it feels like when you need someone and no one is there, so I try to be there, even if they stood me up…because I know how it feels like to have that feeling inside that you juss can't really explain and you juss fucking need someone there! I'm sick and tired of being there for people, and no one (at least here) is there for me…it burns you out…I'm starting to keep things inside again, and I know that that is bad, because it leads to bad habits that aren't good to have…but what the hell, I'm not the type of person who tries to impose my problems on people…so what am I doing right now complaining about it anyways…nothing can come of it…oh well, life keeps moving and the world keeps turning and I'm one second older than juss a second ago. *laughs*
Well, I got to talk to my mom AND my sister the other day! That was really cool…my sister needed to confirm her wedding date to make sure that I can come home for it…and other stuff…and my mom was calling to talk about my sister and her coming up wedding…it sounds really stressed out there at home…but a good kind of stressed out and stuff…Gosh, I miss home a lot, and I still tear up when I think about it…when I get a phone call from home, even a simple e-mail will get me all teary eyed and stuff…but not all "come to my people and comfort me!" type of thing…where I want attention, I'm actually frustrated by my tears when it does come because why am I still crying because I miss home?! I should be over that already! It's always good to talk to my family. Always…
So it was Sarah's birthday 2 days ago, and things like that make me sad too…knowing that I'm missing out on special dates…but I'm sure that she had a good birthday…my wish for her…well…yeah…ONE of my wishes for her. *laughs*
Well, the days here are long still…and they sorta run together…I get tired really easily because I study till really late and wake up early to finish studying and stuff…I'm really looking forward to going home next October…! For my sister's wedding…really really really looking forward to that. It's one of the very few things that keep me going these days…I'm so excited for it…I know that it's going to be a beautiful, fun day! I might be home the night before the wedding day, but I told my sister that the adrenaline rush that the wedding brings will keep me awake. Oh, and a lot of coffee! *laughs* Maybe I'll be home also for my brother's and dad's birthday and my parents wedding anniversary…so that's good. *laughs* Gosh…I so can't wait…!
Well, me and Eddie are supporting each other in going to church every Saturday…tomorrow would be the third time in a row that we're gonna go to church, with nothing special going on. I know that that might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it's a big deal to us…we haven't been going to church here, because it doesn't mean anything to us anymore…and I think those of you (in general) who go to church to socialize and to dress up all nice and all those other stuff, is juss as bad as not going…but me and Eddie feel like we are missing something in our life, and so we are trying to go to church every Saturday again. And really try to be there for church…at first I wanted to go to church at least once a month…which in itself a big struggle in itself…but Eddie wanted to go EVERY Saturday, and so with each of us supporting each other, it's easier…I never thought that it would come to this…but I really am trying to get back on track and stuff…so that is a good thing, so everyone pray for us…because we are struggling, and we are only on our third week! *laughs* not even…YET…tomorrow would be the third week. *smiles*
Well, Eddie's parents are coming tomorrow. So it's good to see family. Gosh, I really miss family.
Well, I better be on my way now…juss wanted to write a quick blog and stuff! Miss you all so much (Joe!!) and I love you….